Page 6 | Strip Club

MahoganyGrain · 2025-10-12T09:48:56+00:00

Husband went to a strip club whilst away on a work trip. Spent a ridiculous amount of money (over £1000). Didn’t admit where he had been until confronted with proof. His story: he took some clients and paid for them to have private dances, while he sat in the bar area, having a drink whilst waiting for them. I'm inclined to believe him, AIBU? Or just a complete fool?

DrowningInSyrup · 12/10/2025 12:44

MahoganyGrain · 12/10/2025 12:31

Honestly id think this was hilariously ridiculous excuse if this wasn’t my actual life!!

Ok so this is fairly identifying, but as I’ve namechanged and the only other person who knows the real truth is him, so I suppose it doesn’t matter.
He gave me his credit card to make a payment a few days before and I was having difficulty and somehow added the card to my Apple Pay. Afterwards few everyday transactions popped up as notifications but I didn’t really take much notice of it.
Then while he was away, late at night a notification for a transaction for £500 popped up. I thought this was unusual as I’d spoken to him a couple of hours earlier and he’d said he was going to have dinner (alone) and go back to his hotel.
My first thought was he had had the card stolen/ cloned, so I googled the company and they owned strip clubs in the city he was staying.
Still thinking he may have had his card stolen.. so I checked his location on Life360 ( we all freely share our location so the kids can see where we are and we can see them )
It’s not 100% accurate but it shows him to be near a location listed as a gentleman’s club.
Called him and it went straight to answer phone. I’m still thinking his card may be lost / stolen / cloned but it’s after midnight now so I went to sleep.
In the morning there are more transactions totalling over £1000.

I decided to wait and see what he said face to face rather than by phone so I can gauge whether he is lying to me, so waited until he came home. I asked if he went back out because he was clearly tired / hungover and he said yes, he intended to go back to the hotel, but some contractors were out nearby, so he went to meet them for work purposes. I asked where he went and he named a well known bar.

I was working at that point so didn’t pursue it. Later on said I could see he was out until 3am and that’s pretty late, I asked again where he went and he said he couldn’t remember the name, he just went with the other people as they are local to the area.

I obviously knew he was lying. So I then told him that I knew he was in a strip club and how much he spent and how I knew, and he then admitted he went to there and gave me the story above.

i truly am a fool but he’s very convincing and I still half believe him.
I have never had any reason to believe he’s done this before and I’ve always trusted him. I’ve never had any reason not to. And he’s has always taken a very poor view of cheaters so I would never thought he would cheat. He knows it would be the end of us if he did.

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Oof, but you only found out on this occasion because of the credit card, when you confronted him about it he lied. He then finally admitted it when you gave him absolutely no wiggle room to continue lying. I would bet my left arm that he did not sit in the bar eyes cast down till 3.30am. I'd be thinking that this is exactly the reason that he has done this before. Assume he has had private dances, because realistically you can never be sure he hasn't, then decide whether you can move on and rescue your marriage. Go to counselling and see if you can sort it. People do come through these kind of things and only you can decide if this is what you really want. No judgement here, your life your marriage.

FutureMarchionessOfVidal · 12/10/2025 12:42

MahoganyGrain · 12/10/2025 12:31

Honestly id think this was hilariously ridiculous excuse if this wasn’t my actual life!!

Ok so this is fairly identifying, but as I’ve namechanged and the only other person who knows the real truth is him, so I suppose it doesn’t matter.
He gave me his credit card to make a payment a few days before and I was having difficulty and somehow added the card to my Apple Pay. Afterwards few everyday transactions popped up as notifications but I didn’t really take much notice of it.
Then while he was away, late at night a notification for a transaction for £500 popped up. I thought this was unusual as I’d spoken to him a couple of hours earlier and he’d said he was going to have dinner (alone) and go back to his hotel.
My first thought was he had had the card stolen/ cloned, so I googled the company and they owned strip clubs in the city he was staying.
Still thinking he may have had his card stolen.. so I checked his location on Life360 ( we all freely share our location so the kids can see where we are and we can see them )
It’s not 100% accurate but it shows him to be near a location listed as a gentleman’s club.
Called him and it went straight to answer phone. I’m still thinking his card may be lost / stolen / cloned but it’s after midnight now so I went to sleep.
In the morning there are more transactions totalling over £1000.

I decided to wait and see what he said face to face rather than by phone so I can gauge whether he is lying to me, so waited until he came home. I asked if he went back out because he was clearly tired / hungover and he said yes, he intended to go back to the hotel, but some contractors were out nearby, so he went to meet them for work purposes. I asked where he went and he named a well known bar.

I was working at that point so didn’t pursue it. Later on said I could see he was out until 3am and that’s pretty late, I asked again where he went and he said he couldn’t remember the name, he just went with the other people as they are local to the area.

I obviously knew he was lying. So I then told him that I knew he was in a strip club and how much he spent and how I knew, and he then admitted he went to there and gave me the story above.

i truly am a fool but he’s very convincing and I still half believe him.
I have never had any reason to believe he’s done this before and I’ve always trusted him. I’ve never had any reason not to. And he’s has always taken a very poor view of cheaters so I would never thought he would cheat. He knows it would be the end of us if he did.

Show quote history

This is very sad and I would assume he has done it before- just that the odd circumstances meant you found out this time.

I used to work in an environment (more than 20 years ago) where male clients were occasionally taken to strip clubs to celebrate a ‘sexy deal’ 🤢. But it was rare & frowned on even then and I think the likelihood of this persisting is minuscule. Maybe in certain very high profit macho type sectors in the financial world? Unless your H works in that area I would assume sadly he has a habit you don’t know about.

DoYouReally · 12/10/2025 12:38

Very convincing? Only to you.

The rest of us recognise bullshit when we see it.

LadyGAgain · 12/10/2025 12:34

I don’t know a company on this planet that would these days allow you to expense a strip club. Especially with clients due to corruption and bribery.

Idstillratherbepaddleboarding · 12/10/2025 12:32

I think it’s actually worse if he took clients there. They’re supposed to be professionals! In this day and age this is entirely inappropriate and using vulnerable women to make business deals is disgusting!

Original poster

MahoganyGrain · 12/10/2025 12:31

Alwaysinamood · 12/10/2025 11:29

What was the proof you found? You must’ve had a gut feeling to look for proof of something in the first place. Sorry but his excuses remind me of the sketch on Little Britain with the politician saying he accidentally fell on top of a man’s penis 😂😂

Honestly id think this was hilariously ridiculous excuse if this wasn’t my actual life!!

Ok so this is fairly identifying, but as I’ve namechanged and the only other person who knows the real truth is him, so I suppose it doesn’t matter.
He gave me his credit card to make a payment a few days before and I was having difficulty and somehow added the card to my Apple Pay. Afterwards few everyday transactions popped up as notifications but I didn’t really take much notice of it.
Then while he was away, late at night a notification for a transaction for £500 popped up. I thought this was unusual as I’d spoken to him a couple of hours earlier and he’d said he was going to have dinner (alone) and go back to his hotel.
My first thought was he had had the card stolen/ cloned, so I googled the company and they owned strip clubs in the city he was staying.
Still thinking he may have had his card stolen.. so I checked his location on Life360 ( we all freely share our location so the kids can see where we are and we can see them )
It’s not 100% accurate but it shows him to be near a location listed as a gentleman’s club.
Called him and it went straight to answer phone. I’m still thinking his card may be lost / stolen / cloned but it’s after midnight now so I went to sleep.
In the morning there are more transactions totalling over £1000.

I decided to wait and see what he said face to face rather than by phone so I can gauge whether he is lying to me, so waited until he came home. I asked if he went back out because he was clearly tired / hungover and he said yes, he intended to go back to the hotel, but some contractors were out nearby, so he went to meet them for work purposes. I asked where he went and he named a well known bar.

I was working at that point so didn’t pursue it. Later on said I could see he was out until 3am and that’s pretty late, I asked again where he went and he said he couldn’t remember the name, he just went with the other people as they are local to the area.

I obviously knew he was lying. So I then told him that I knew he was in a strip club and how much he spent and how I knew, and he then admitted he went to there and gave me the story above.

i truly am a fool but he’s very convincing and I still half believe him.
I have never had any reason to believe he’s done this before and I’ve always trusted him. I’ve never had any reason not to. And he’s has always taken a very poor view of cheaters so I would never thought he would cheat. He knows it would be the end of us if he did.

OP posts:

DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 12/10/2025 12:24

Didimum · 12/10/2025 12:14

‘To the extent of’ is moot. It’s her marriage and someone she has loved presumably for many years and built her life with. Stop over-simplifying the ‘choices’ women have in this. She’s quite literally another victim of the system.

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I’m sorry but no, if she chooses to excuse this she is upholding patriarchy.

I will eat my words if she comes back to say her husband is controlling, abusive, and she has no means or agency to even think about leaving.

TheExcitersblowingupmymind · 12/10/2025 12:19

Puppycrate · 12/10/2025 12:16

I doubt there were any clients in all honesty. He’s just spent a lot on himself.

That's exactly what I was thinking the more posts I read.
He may have messed up big time and got hit with an inflated bill
These types of places are notorious for it.

Puppycrate · 12/10/2025 12:16

I doubt there were any clients in all honesty. He’s just spent a lot on himself.

freshpyjamas · 12/10/2025 12:15

Don’t be so naive

Didimum · 12/10/2025 12:14

DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 12/10/2025 11:56

She has given no indication that her husband is controlling and manipulating her to the extent that she has no choice but to accept this. She has indicated that if she can be convinced by posters here that he was simply entertaining clients, she can accept his behaviour.

FWIW, I also think women who say sex work is work, and women who claim to be empowered as feminists by prostitution, are also complicit in the abuse of women.

Show quote history

‘To the extent of’ is moot. It’s her marriage and someone she has loved presumably for many years and built her life with. Stop over-simplifying the ‘choices’ women have in this. She’s quite literally another victim of the system.

Goodadvice1980 · 12/10/2025 12:14

Denial is not just a river in Egypt OP.

He’s been caught bang to rights! Expenses, yeah right 🙄

ilikeeggs · 12/10/2025 12:14

I’m another one that wants to know what kind of company your do works for that they’d pay for client lap dances?!

lovecookiedough · 12/10/2025 12:02

He’s lying, his clients certainly didn’t make him do anything he didn’t want to, no way would he he sat there waiting innocently with a drink, This is about him and his actions, it’s likely he’s using them to blame, when he was fully up for this. What company would write this much off as expenses. A complete waste of money for the business, if he had the nerve to give receipts for this, he wouldn’t last any longer at his job.

cestlavielife · 12/10/2025 11:59

If it is UK company the public need to know they funding strip clubs for employees. So it can be called out. We can stop buying their products. Let s hope it is not a public institution . If so then report to MP. Publicise.

Or...he is lying to you op. No expenses involved.... All on him . He chose to go chose to spend £££

DoYouReally · 12/10/2025 11:58

Ah, he thinks
you are really stupid.

He lied
He went to a strip club
His version of events is crap
He wasn't left with no choice
He didn't just sip drinks while everyone else met the strippers
How many clients- how many dances, the numbers won't add up
His bill won't be expensed

Wise up. You might not want to believe it but he isn't even a good liar. He's really full of crap.

WafflingOnandOn · 12/10/2025 11:56

What sort of business is your DH in and who are these clients that need such revolting entertainment?! Sorry op but your DH is lying. He instigated this, he thought this was appropriate, as for claiming back on company expenses wtaf! I would not be with a man like this. Awful.

DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 12/10/2025 11:56

Didimum · 12/10/2025 11:47

Please don’t call another woman ‘complicit’ in what is 100% useage, emotional manipulation and control by a man and men. In both the strip club and the marriage.

Show quote history

She has given no indication that her husband is controlling and manipulating her to the extent that she has no choice but to accept this. She has indicated that if she can be convinced by posters here that he was simply entertaining clients, she can accept his behaviour.

FWIW, I also think women who say sex work is work, and women who claim to be empowered as feminists by prostitution, are also complicit in the abuse of women.

PollyBell · 12/10/2025 11:49

You beleive him so how on earth could we persuade you otherwise? He could have twat tattooed on his forehead but would you notice?

Thulpelly · 12/10/2025 11:49

He lied to you already but you are still inclined to believe him? Come on now.

Notmyreality · 12/10/2025 11:48

Would like to see that expense claim when it comes in.

ColinOfficeTrolley · 12/10/2025 11:47

Just knowing that my husband viewed women in this way would be enough to end my marriage.

Didimum · 12/10/2025 11:47

DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 12/10/2025 10:52

You’re a fool for believing him.

And you’re complicit in how fucking grim it is to buy a woman’s body if you think it’s okay that he was only doing it for the benefit of his clients.

Please don’t call another woman ‘complicit’ in what is 100% useage, emotional manipulation and control by a man and men. In both the strip club and the marriage.

Fayaway · 12/10/2025 11:46

You want to believe he thoughtfully organised and paid for this (on expenses)? Yuk, that’s just as grim as him joining in.
What industry is he in? What company? Were there no women clients of his company at all?

DrowningInSyrup · 12/10/2025 11:45

When all is said and done, I hope you are okay, this must have been a terrible shock for you and very traumatic. You have my full sympathy and I understand why you would want to believe him. We've all been very blunt with you, and I hope you find a way through this pain. It's an awful thing to do to you, but whatever you decide I hope you have some good support. I'm sorry.