Strip Club

How much are the lap dances in these places? What does £500 get you? Surely nire that a dance?
So grim, of course hes lying, he went by himself, and bought the "services" for himself

So what company permits you to decide at 12pm at night when you are in your hotel to go out and meet some clients that you just happen to find out are in the area. Then to spend 1000 plus at a strip club on the clients and claim it back as a business expense.
OP, it's ridiculous. Surely he could of thought of something better than that to lie to you.

If his work are reimbursing him you want to see evidence of it . Highly unlikely story .

He could have felt pressured to go along with them.

He can give you 1k as compensation for hurt feelings.

Exactly my thoughts.
And not for the first time.

One of the reasons you as degree educated with a professional job are questioning your judgement is because he has done a number on you. The control and jealousy of your interactions with men and checking social media that you describe, are not normal behaviour and are toxic. You've hinted at a coercive sex life in your posts and have posted a couple of times how he has nearly convinced you something as truth that literally everyone else is seeing as complete bull shit.
This goes far deeper that your partner going to a strip club, and I suspect you know that.

I find it interesting that a man who has no qualms about getting angry with his perimenopausal wife for not wanting as much sex as him, frequently checking her location, questioning her about her interactions with other men and making accusations of flirting and lying, can suddenly be so lacking in self-confidence that he doesn't feel he can speak up for himself when colleagues/clients want to go to a strip club.

I mean, even if he is telling the truth (which I am 100% sure he isn't!), why would you want to stay with such a vile, insecure bully of a man?

Sorry op, must be awful to have found out.

I'd be more worried that it's a snapshot of his behaviour generally when you say 'he has massive paranoia/ jealousy about me going out without him. To the point that he checks my location frequently while I’m out and when I come home he always questions whether I’ve been speaking to any men' he is judging you by his own poor standards. I sadly bet this club night is the tip of the iceberg taking into account that you argue a lot and he shouts etc.

How long have you been married, do you have kids are you financially independent?

I wouldn't generally say LTB over a one off strip club visit but if it's part of a larger picture of things not being very good at home then it'd maybe be the straw that broke the camel's back if it were me.

Or "Hubby spent £1000 on a strip club, but says work will pay through expenses, we all know he's a lying scrotum, but now we are renewing our wedding vows".

Could go either way.

You want some outside opinions, you've had them in spades. He's a lying, conniving bastard (fact not opinion) and after your last update he is also a manipulative, abusive one. How much he has lied none of can us say, but I am guessing a lot. Strip clubs galore.

No one here has backed him up.

This is classic daily mail fodder. "Hubby spent £1000 on a strip club, but says work will pay through expenses". Need a pic of you holding his next payslip with the title "gutted" .

Sorry OP this is less convincing than 'I wasn't smoking, I was holding it for a friend'

Your last update unfortunately tells you all you need to know. Sorry you're going through this

Even if it was with clients on expenses (highly bloody unlikely) what to say £800 of that money wasn't spent on him getting 'dances' in a back room, whilst almost everyone else sat in the bar looking at the ceiling.

Or maybe he did sit at the bar. £1000 was just spent on these clients and he has never been to a strip club before, and just lied about it this one time. Sound implausible? That's because it is.

It being paid all on expenses proves nothing. I wouldn't give him the option of saying 'see I told you so'.

Everything he accuses you of is something he's doing or has done. Every single accusation from him is an admission

So your husband works for a company that only has male clients, and where paying for them all to go and have private dances at a Strip Club is considered a normal and acceptable way to spend company money?

Wake up OP.

Christ he sounds like a knob. Is there anything positive about him, because you've previously said he's given you no reason not to trust him and now you can't.

OP, I would tell him (and mean it) that the only way you stay is that 1. he calls whoever at work who deals with expenses, or his boss, on speakerphone, while you are there, and explains in exactly the way he has to you, what has happened. And 2. (because he will obscutifate and delay and eventually get a mate on the end of the phone) you want to see the paperwork with the invoice detailing the expense emailed while you are there to whoever deals with expenses, with his boss copied in to an address you can verify against other emails to his boss. 3. you want to see the transaction, from his work's bank account to his. See what he says to those things.

He's a control freak who isn't very bright either and lacks any imagination. He lies about his location when he has his location share activated so not only his wife but his children can see he is in a strip club.
His wife is notified of his large expenditure so he says it's claimable, which it won't be so that's going be found out.
He eventually admits to being in the strip club but says he sat at the bar and spent 1000 plus on his contractors having dances. He only found out were in the city after midnight and after finding out left his hotel to take them to a strip club so he could sit at the bar and run up 1k in expenses.
You know that saying that if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck then it's highly likely it is a duck....

@DownThePubWithStevieNicks and please read OP’s latest. He is literally abusive and controlling, if that’s the only thing that will meet your bar.

This would be projection / guilty conscience
he expects you to behave as he would

She's in shock and processing.

Sorry, but yes.

Patriarchy isn’t upheld by individual women trying to survive within it – it’s upheld by the system that makes those “choices” feel like the only viable ones. Calling a woman complicit for trying to rationalise her husband’s behaviour after being blindsided by betrayal is cruel and simplistic. She’s not defending patriarchy, she’s trying to make sense of her reality. Blame the structures and the men who exploit them – not the women trapped in the fallout.

Was it £1000 you could afford to lose or has he just spent your grocery money?
Regardless of if he intends to claim it as expenses.
I would very much miss £1000 surely that’s the type of expense you discuss first?