Strip Club

Might be he is an defence contractor dealing with dictators out of a 1980s film?

Or he is just full of lies.

Even More concerning is your later post on the arguments / controlling ways. This is not healthy or normal.

You are right to question your judgement here. It’s way off. He is spinning you a line, and it’s highly unlikely this is the first time either. A £1,000 spend is by a seasoned client of the strip club. And it doesn’t just include private dances; there are ‘extras’ in there.

It would end my relationship if I were in your shoes. Up to you what you decide to do, and I understand that you WANT to believe him. He’s your husband after all. However, if you do forgive and move on, it won’t be the end of it. In future he’ll just be more careful to hide it from you and more confident knowing he’s got away with it before.

It might end up on an episode of Amandaland lol.

Here to say that a large part of you wants to believe him for obvious reasons but what you have described stinks on multiple levels.
And a promise- life beyond this relationship would be sweet OP.
Not being monitored, shouted at, lied to, hassled for sex. Breaking up hurts but there is joy and contentment beyond this

People who regularly accuse others of infidelity generally have a guilty conscience of their own.

So sorry you’re going through this, but I wouldn’t believe anything he said.

What job does your husband do that requires him to spend over a grand on strippers and "private dances" for clients?

He's a pimp, right?

Absolutely. She's not a cheat so is finding it difficult to accept this of him. DH, on the other hand, is jealous and suspicious of her...

A friend of mine used to have no difficulty at all with her husband going to strip clubs. She used to say things like ‘if the only thing between your marriage and infidelity is another woman’s clothes, you have far bigger problems’. He had an affair and left her.

You have bigger issues than him going to a strip club…

Even if they did it doesn't mean he wasn't fumbling with a stripper and it doesn't mean he hasn't done it before.

I just feel sad that OP is probably having a good old weep and if she hasn't told anyone in RL then she is alone.

Absolute fool.

What line of work is he in? I’d be staggered that in the UK in 2025 and company would be allowing staff to blow £1k on strippers to entertain clients. This sounds like the tip of a very toxic iceberg.

Fair 😂

Everything about this situation is just horrible.
If it is true and it is a work outing then I wouldn't tolerate my husband working for an organisation which thinks this is acceptable.
If your husband has lied then it is even worse.
Whatever the truth of the matter it is grim and for me unacceptable, however, it obviously is a case of what OP is prepared to tolerate, we are all different and we all have to make our own life choices.
OP I am really sorry for your situation because whatever the reality it is a no win scenario.

Yes it’s lies. There is no corporation in the UK that will reimburse/expense visits to strip clubs. Even when I worked on the trading floor in an investment back 20 years ago this would not have happened. HMRC doesn’t (I believe) allow client entertainment of any sort to be offset against revenue now, so most businesses place strict limits on what you can spend. I cannot anticipate a £1000 ‘bar’ bill would be allowed.

You have got to be joking op

Occams razer. The theory that the simplest explanation is always the most likely

You also say he is controlling and paranoid.

Doesn’t work like that. You’ve posted in a public forum.

A complete fool.

@Edenmum2

Sorry but I had to laugh at you describing going to a strip club as a frivolity!

I doubt whether many women who find their partner or H visits strip clubs/ lap dancing clubs regards it as a lighthearted, fun pastime!

I think he's been watching wolf of wall street. Its pure fiction what he's telling you. He went on his own and paid for extra services. From what you've said in another post your relationship sounds very unhealthy, you need to seriously consider whether you want to continue with him

OP unless your husband works on Wall St cica 1980's this story of his is complete bullshit xxx

@MahoganyGrain OP my DH’s job has always involved entertaining clients that come from all over the world. Never, ever has he taken them to be entertained at a strip club. I know you’re probably a bit taken by surprise but if you think it through no company would think this as an acceptable work expense. A dinner sure, a round of golf yes, a day at the races sure, go karting, a lot of drinks, mini golf, casino all these yes - but not strip clubs.

Even if it’s true that he sat at the bar, it’s unacceptable to spend over £1000 on such frivolities without consulting you. And for the record, I don’t think you should believe him.

Yes I said I’d eat my words if OP came back and said he was abusive and controlling and I do.

Also, note - HE thinks she's perimenopausal. Im reading this as hes convincing her that her hormones are sending her crazy (aka gaslighting)