Strip Club

1000 quid is ridiculous money to chuck at a strip club. I'd be absolutely fuming.

Sounds a good guy. I'd trust him but tell him you are going to a knitting club tonight with Betty your best friend but you'll be leaving your phone at home.

I think it’s quite common for people who cheat to be paranoid and untrusting of their partners. Because they project their own behaviour onto you. It doesn’t look good, OP. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was unfaithful and I certainly don’t think it’s his first time in the strip club.

I don’t know what I’d do in your situation. To me he sounds absolutely awful. You can’t trust him but he seems to easily be able to manipulate you and this is just a recipe for disaster.

I think you will find that most large companies don't allow visits to strip clubs on expenses these days as there's too much risk of litigation. When I worked in the City 15 years ago it was banned.

I wouldn't believe him I don't think. It's a bit of a tall story.

MAHOGANY, you deserve so much better than this. You know he is a cheat, a liar and a controlling abusive man.

Well if you do believe him then you should be furious he's spending his own money on entertaining clients with hookers. Surely it should be his company that pays?

I'm joking of course. It's not OK and it was definitely for him.

If it's any consolation if he only spent £100 he probably didn't get that much action?! Honestly he's taking you for a mug. It's interesting you say you are inclined to believe him though. Because obviously none of us do.

He had a choice whether to go or not, and he chose to go. He also chose to spend over £1000 but you’ll never know what that went towards. He then kept it from you.

Is it 1965? Taking clients to a strip club - pull the other one, it's got bells on.

He also regularly accuses me of flirting with any men i do speak to when he’s there, including his friends, my brother in law, the delivery guy, etc. If I deny any flirting and say I’m being friendly, he says I must do it without realising.

Of course he does. 'Twas ever thus.

It’s not prudish to expect your husband to be faithful.

I couldn’t agree more. He’s are horrible person @MahoganyGrain and you are not stuck in this shitty life - or at least, you don’t have to be.

Don't be naive of course he joined them nobody Goes to a strip club just for drinks 🙁

He is cheating: Cheaters use the ploy of accusing their innocent partners to avoid being caught.

This.
Men who are obsessively jealous and assume you are up for meeting other men are just projecting their own behaviour and deception onto you.
As a pp said, it’s 2025, companies don’t drop a thousand pounds for clients to have naked women writhe on their laps. He is talking absolute nonsense. He sounds horrible, and too stupid to realise that you won’t believe his lies.

Well it’s easy to see if his story is true…ask to see the expense return sent to his work and the corresponding payment whether on its own or added to his wages at the end of the month. Tell him if he is lying and it’s not true it will destroy your trust in him. Your relationship will be on hold until he proves his story true.

In reality what company would authorise that type of payment? It would get them into huge trouble. And he can’t think you would believe that he would personally pay £1k for some colleagues to have private dances while he sat there on his own. It’s laughable.

His over the top fear that you're cheating sounds like a guilty conscience at work. People who are up to no good themselves often suspect or accuse others of the same. There's no way he wasn't getting something for that money. I'd guess that the people he was supposedly treating to private dances weren't there at all.

Client(s) + hubby + drinks + private dance = more than £1000. I suspect this was just "his share" of the bill.

OP I think the only reason you believed him, when a bunch of strangers could instantly see it was ludicrous lies, is that you have lived with him gaslighting and controlling you for so long he could tell you white was black and you would agree with him.

Nothing in your relationship sounds any good and you stay with him. He has absolutely done a number on you and your mental health.

Please get support in getting away from him.

😂
Sure.

The company cannot claim that as a legitimate business expense, so it's highly unlikely he'll be "getting that back on expenses."

I feel your misery here.

He is utterly gaslighting you.

The reality is he found himself footloose and fancy free, and either googled the local nightlife or had the club recommended by someone and set off in pursuit of a bit of 'frivolity'.

He has then woven a story around that...even if it is the first time hes made such a visit, it wont be the last. If I were you, I would use this as a starting point, and with all the other not insignificant issues you mention, I'd make a decision about your future with him. However I doubt it is the first time he's been to something like this as it would be rare to reach middle age and try it out for the first time.

You have my sympathy but it is all a load of rubbish. The only thing is- and its a sliver of 'defence' - that he didn't turn off his location - or did he think that you wouldn't be up and looking at it in the small hours?

I would also add, and in my memory of the City (financial area) many men I knew of 20 years ago (no longer) would go to such a place and get a 'takeaway' - usually a girl met at the club who would go back to a hotel room for the right price.....so it may be worth checking his hotel bill for 'room service'

Sorry but be aware, and don't think this was a one off or will never repeat....he's clearly looking for what he isn't able to enjoy at home. Its all on him. His bar is exceptionally low.

Best Wishes.

Oh come on girls, stop being so prudish. I loved being a personal dancer. Easy money and sent husbands home to their wives relaxed, albeit a few ££s lighter.

No one is going to spend £1000 on drinks. Your partner is lying to you.

More generally, It is mind-blowing that in 2025 businesses/clients think going to a strip club is an acceptable form of corporate hospitality.

Your partner should have simply declined to go and pointed out that going to a strip club is against his principles.

Any company who thinks this is OK should be named and shamed.

Don't think any of my recent employers would let me expense a shandy let alone anything stronger.

Just a thought, but presumably if you're in a strip club some of the transactions are going to be in cash on top of anything on cards?

Ah, so he's not just a lying, cheating, gaslighting, misogynist.

He's a lying cheating gaslighting, controlling, sexually harassing, jealous, verbally abusive, aggressive misogynist.

Call M&S, they'll want him for their Xmas campaign.

Or alternatively bin both the couples counselling and him, and make a new and better life for yourself.