Strip Club

I AM fuming.
I absolutely do not agree with exploiting women. It’s sickening to think of any men leering over women, let alone my husband. He knows I would not be happy with this.

He said he was in a position where he felt he had no choice and will be getting this back on expenses.

It’s all lies isn’t it?

Yes it’s lies. There is no corporation in the UK that will reimburse/expense visits to strip clubs.

Not only are there no such companies there are many where this behaviour , if it were connected to work, would result in disciplinary measures. Businesses don't want to be connected with sleaze like this.

No one is going to spend £1000 on drinks. Your partner is lying to you.

More generally, It is mind-blowing that in 2025 businesses/clients think going to a strip club is an acceptable form of corporate hospitality.

Your partner should have simply declined to go and pointed out that going to a strip club is against his principles.

Any company who thinks this is OK should be named and shamed.

Yes it’s lies. There is no corporation in the UK that will reimburse/expense visits to strip clubs. Even when I worked on the trading floor in an investment back 20 years ago this would not have happened. HMRC doesn’t (I believe) allow client entertainment of any sort to be offset against revenue now, so most businesses place strict limits on what you can spend. I cannot anticipate a £1000 ‘bar’ bill would be allowed.

Yes and £1000 is a lot of private dances, and whatever extras. No way his company would sanction him spending £1000 on clients in a strip club, what kind of seedy establishment does he work for if he claims this is the case?

Honestly id think this was hilariously ridiculous excuse if this wasn’t my actual life!!

Ok so this is fairly identifying, but as I’ve namechanged and the only other person who knows the real truth is him, so I suppose it doesn’t matter.
He gave me his credit card to make a payment a few days before and I was having difficulty and somehow added the card to my Apple Pay. Afterwards few everyday transactions popped up as notifications but I didn’t really take much notice of it.
Then while he was away, late at night a notification for a transaction for £500 popped up. I thought this was unusual as I’d spoken to him a couple of hours earlier and he’d said he was going to have dinner (alone) and go back to his hotel.
My first thought was he had had the card stolen/ cloned, so I googled the company and they owned strip clubs in the city he was staying.
Still thinking he may have had his card stolen.. so I checked his location on Life360 ( we all freely share our location so the kids can see where we are and we can see them )
It’s not 100% accurate but it shows him to be near a location listed as a gentleman’s club.
Called him and it went straight to answer phone. I’m still thinking his card may be lost / stolen / cloned but it’s after midnight now so I went to sleep.
In the morning there are more transactions totalling over £1000.

I decided to wait and see what he said face to face rather than by phone so I can gauge whether he is lying to me, so waited until he came home. I asked if he went back out because he was clearly tired / hungover and he said yes, he intended to go back to the hotel, but some contractors were out nearby, so he went to meet them for work purposes. I asked where he went and he named a well known bar.

I was working at that point so didn’t pursue it. Later on said I could see he was out until 3am and that’s pretty late, I asked again where he went and he said he couldn’t remember the name, he just went with the other people as they are local to the area.

I obviously knew he was lying. So I then told him that I knew he was in a strip club and how much he spent and how I knew, and he then admitted he went to there and gave me the story above.

i truly am a fool but he’s very convincing and I still half believe him.
I have never had any reason to believe he’s done this before and I’ve always trusted him. I’ve never had any reason not to. And he’s has always taken a very poor view of cheaters so I would never thought he would cheat. He knows it would be the end of us if he did.

Husband went to a strip club whilst away on a work trip.
Spent a ridiculous amount of money (over £1000).
Didn’t admit where he had been until confronted with proof.
His story:
he took some clients and paid for them to have private dances, while he sat in the bar area, having a drink whilst waiting for them.

I'm inclined to believe him, AIBU? Or just a complete fool?

Husband went to a strip club whilst away on a work trip.
Spent a ridiculous amount of money (over £1000).
Didn’t admit where he had been until confronted with proof.
His story:
he took some clients and paid for them to have private dances, while he sat in the bar area, having a drink whilst waiting for them.

I'm inclined to believe him, AIBU? Or just a complete fool?

Sorry, but yes.

Patriarchy isn’t upheld by individual women trying to survive within it – it’s upheld by the system that makes those “choices” feel like the only viable ones. Calling a woman complicit for trying to rationalise her husband’s behaviour after being blindsided by betrayal is cruel and simplistic. She’s not defending patriarchy, she’s trying to make sense of her reality. Blame the structures and the men who exploit them – not the women trapped in the fallout.

I AM fuming.
I absolutely do not agree with exploiting women. It’s sickening to think of any men leering over women, let alone my husband. He knows I would not be happy with this.

He said he was in a position where he felt he had no choice and will be getting this back on expenses.

It’s all lies isn’t it?

🥴

You're missing a zero. It was £1,000.

Yes it’s lies. There is no corporation in the UK that will reimburse/expense visits to strip clubs. Even when I worked on the trading floor in an investment back 20 years ago this would not have happened. HMRC doesn’t (I believe) allow client entertainment of any sort to be offset against revenue now, so most businesses place strict limits on what you can spend. I cannot anticipate a £1000 ‘bar’ bill would be allowed.

Oh god I absolutely do not want this to be public knowledge, hence posting anonymously on here for advice rather than speaking to people in real life!
Now I’m panicking… I do not give any permission for any seedy newspapers to repost this in any way.

Well if you do believe him then you should be furious he's spending his own money on entertaining clients with hookers. Surely it should be his company that pays?

I'm joking of course. It's not OK and it was definitely for him.

If it's any consolation if he only spent £100 he probably didn't get that much action?! Honestly he's taking you for a mug. It's interesting you say you are inclined to believe him though. Because obviously none of us do.