Strip Club

"Private Dances" read "Taking part in sexual activity". Go to your local sexual health clinic and ask for a complete total screen including blood tests. He might have contracted AIDS or something else. Also book in at your GP surgery for help with your mental health. You are totally going to need both. Also contact Women's Aid because you will need to get out as soon as possible from your living conditions with your DCs. This is ABUSE and you need to protect your DCs as well.

"He has massive paranoia/ jealousy about me going out without him. To the point that he checks my location frequently while I’m out and when I come home he always questions whether I’ve been speaking to any men and searches social media photos to look for “proof” I am lying to him when I say no.

He also regularly accuses me of flirting with any men i do speak to when he’s there, including his friends, my brother in law, the delivery guy, etc. If I deny any flirting and say I’m being friendly, he says I must do it without realising."

There is a phrase, @MahoganyGrain - 'EVERY ACCUSATION IS AN ADMISSION'. In longhand, cheaters assume everyone else is a cheater. Whatever he accuses you of, he does so because in your shoes that is what he would do. So, it sounds as if any and every interaction you have with any man he sees as you potentially cheating - because in any and every interaction he has with any woman he will cheat if there is the opportunity.

He has cheated on you. He spent £1,000! in a strip club on himself.It's probably not the first time. He will have cheated on you many times, at every opportunity. That is where his jealousy comes from - he would do it, so why wouldn't you? The notion that you are not like him and would never do so will never occur to him.

I'm so sorry. :(

"He has massive paranoia/ jealousy about me going out without him. To the point that he checks my location frequently while I’m out and when I come home he always questions whether I’ve been speaking to any men and searches social media photos to look for “proof” I am lying to him when I say no.

He also regularly accuses me of flirting with any men i do speak to when he’s there, including his friends, my brother in law, the delivery guy, etc. If I deny any flirting and say I’m being friendly, he says I must do it without realising."

There is a phrase, @MahoganyGrain - 'EVERY ACCUSATION IS AN ADMISSION'. In longhand, cheaters assume everyone else is a cheater. Whatever he accuses you of, he does so because in your shoes that is what he would do. So, it sounds as if any and every interaction you have with any man he sees as you potentially cheating - because in any and every interaction he has with any woman he will cheat if there is the opportunity.

He has cheated on you. He spent £1,000! in a strip club on himself.It's probably not the first time. He will have cheated on you many times, at every opportunity. That is where his jealousy comes from - he would do it, so why wouldn't you? The notion that you are not like him and would never do so will never occur to him.

I'm so sorry. :(

No company will accept lap dancing receipts............

It’s the other way around. He has massive paranoia/ jealousy about me going out without him. To the point that he checks my location frequently while I’m out and when I come home he always questions whether I’ve been speaking to any men and searches social media photos to look for “proof” I am lying to him when I say no.
He also regularly accuses me of flirting with any men i do speak to when he’s there, including his friends, my brother in law, the delivery guy, etc. If I deny any flirting and say I’m being friendly, he says I must do it without realising.

This is the classic behaviour of someone who is actually cheating themselves and projecting their behaviour onto others.

The strip club visit he's been caught out on would align with this, too.

Honestly id think this was hilariously ridiculous excuse if this wasn’t my actual life!!

Ok so this is fairly identifying, but as I’ve namechanged and the only other person who knows the real truth is him, so I suppose it doesn’t matter.
He gave me his credit card to make a payment a few days before and I was having difficulty and somehow added the card to my Apple Pay. Afterwards few everyday transactions popped up as notifications but I didn’t really take much notice of it.
Then while he was away, late at night a notification for a transaction for £500 popped up. I thought this was unusual as I’d spoken to him a couple of hours earlier and he’d said he was going to have dinner (alone) and go back to his hotel.
My first thought was he had had the card stolen/ cloned, so I googled the company and they owned strip clubs in the city he was staying.
Still thinking he may have had his card stolen.. so I checked his location on Life360 ( we all freely share our location so the kids can see where we are and we can see them )
It’s not 100% accurate but it shows him to be near a location listed as a gentleman’s club.
Called him and it went straight to answer phone. I’m still thinking his card may be lost / stolen / cloned but it’s after midnight now so I went to sleep.
In the morning there are more transactions totalling over £1000.

I decided to wait and see what he said face to face rather than by phone so I can gauge whether he is lying to me, so waited until he came home. I asked if he went back out because he was clearly tired / hungover and he said yes, he intended to go back to the hotel, but some contractors were out nearby, so he went to meet them for work purposes. I asked where he went and he named a well known bar.

I was working at that point so didn’t pursue it. Later on said I could see he was out until 3am and that’s pretty late, I asked again where he went and he said he couldn’t remember the name, he just went with the other people as they are local to the area.

I obviously knew he was lying. So I then told him that I knew he was in a strip club and how much he spent and how I knew, and he then admitted he went to there and gave me the story above.

i truly am a fool but he’s very convincing and I still half believe him.
I have never had any reason to believe he’s done this before and I’ve always trusted him. I’ve never had any reason not to. And he’s has always taken a very poor view of cheaters so I would never thought he would cheat. He knows it would be the end of us if he did.

Honestly id think this was hilariously ridiculous excuse if this wasn’t my actual life!!

Ok so this is fairly identifying, but as I’ve namechanged and the only other person who knows the real truth is him, so I suppose it doesn’t matter.
He gave me his credit card to make a payment a few days before and I was having difficulty and somehow added the card to my Apple Pay. Afterwards few everyday transactions popped up as notifications but I didn’t really take much notice of it.
Then while he was away, late at night a notification for a transaction for £500 popped up. I thought this was unusual as I’d spoken to him a couple of hours earlier and he’d said he was going to have dinner (alone) and go back to his hotel.
My first thought was he had had the card stolen/ cloned, so I googled the company and they owned strip clubs in the city he was staying.
Still thinking he may have had his card stolen.. so I checked his location on Life360 ( we all freely share our location so the kids can see where we are and we can see them )
It’s not 100% accurate but it shows him to be near a location listed as a gentleman’s club.
Called him and it went straight to answer phone. I’m still thinking his card may be lost / stolen / cloned but it’s after midnight now so I went to sleep.
In the morning there are more transactions totalling over £1000.

I decided to wait and see what he said face to face rather than by phone so I can gauge whether he is lying to me, so waited until he came home. I asked if he went back out because he was clearly tired / hungover and he said yes, he intended to go back to the hotel, but some contractors were out nearby, so he went to meet them for work purposes. I asked where he went and he named a well known bar.

I was working at that point so didn’t pursue it. Later on said I could see he was out until 3am and that’s pretty late, I asked again where he went and he said he couldn’t remember the name, he just went with the other people as they are local to the area.

I obviously knew he was lying. So I then told him that I knew he was in a strip club and how much he spent and how I knew, and he then admitted he went to there and gave me the story above.

i truly am a fool but he’s very convincing and I still half believe him.
I have never had any reason to believe he’s done this before and I’ve always trusted him. I’ve never had any reason not to. And he’s has always taken a very poor view of cheaters so I would never thought he would cheat. He knows it would be the end of us if he did.

Honestly id think this was hilariously ridiculous excuse if this wasn’t my actual life!!

Ok so this is fairly identifying, but as I’ve namechanged and the only other person who knows the real truth is him, so I suppose it doesn’t matter.
He gave me his credit card to make a payment a few days before and I was having difficulty and somehow added the card to my Apple Pay. Afterwards few everyday transactions popped up as notifications but I didn’t really take much notice of it.
Then while he was away, late at night a notification for a transaction for £500 popped up. I thought this was unusual as I’d spoken to him a couple of hours earlier and he’d said he was going to have dinner (alone) and go back to his hotel.
My first thought was he had had the card stolen/ cloned, so I googled the company and they owned strip clubs in the city he was staying.
Still thinking he may have had his card stolen.. so I checked his location on Life360 ( we all freely share our location so the kids can see where we are and we can see them )
It’s not 100% accurate but it shows him to be near a location listed as a gentleman’s club.
Called him and it went straight to answer phone. I’m still thinking his card may be lost / stolen / cloned but it’s after midnight now so I went to sleep.
In the morning there are more transactions totalling over £1000.

I decided to wait and see what he said face to face rather than by phone so I can gauge whether he is lying to me, so waited until he came home. I asked if he went back out because he was clearly tired / hungover and he said yes, he intended to go back to the hotel, but some contractors were out nearby, so he went to meet them for work purposes. I asked where he went and he named a well known bar.

I was working at that point so didn’t pursue it. Later on said I could see he was out until 3am and that’s pretty late, I asked again where he went and he said he couldn’t remember the name, he just went with the other people as they are local to the area.

I obviously knew he was lying. So I then told him that I knew he was in a strip club and how much he spent and how I knew, and he then admitted he went to there and gave me the story above.

i truly am a fool but he’s very convincing and I still half believe him.
I have never had any reason to believe he’s done this before and I’ve always trusted him. I’ve never had any reason not to. And he’s has always taken a very poor view of cheaters so I would never thought he would cheat. He knows it would be the end of us if he did.