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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel completely overlooked and demoralised

61 replies

Iseverythingrosie · 12/10/2025 09:01

Without being too outing my manager is leaving, I've done an unofficial senior role for 4 years to do all the things my manager does when she is on annual leave or sick leave as well as supporting the team with training and development above and beyond my job description. I've received nothing but positive feedback from clients and colleagues during this time and been recognised for my contributions up until now.

My managers line manager has decided while considering the next steps to request another manager take over the management in the interim despite zero experience in our department. I have been asked to take on a proportion of the this role as the new interim manager is missing a qualification to do part of the role which I do have.

I can't decide if I'm being unreasonable to feel completely overlooked to manage the team in the interim and feel like I'm being used to fill a knowledge/ qualification gap only. The reasoning given is 'resourcing' and I expect to eventually be restructured under the interim manager in the long term. It's made me feel utterly miserable.

Any thoughts welcome as I have no-one to talk this through in real life.

OP posts:
Original poster
Iseverythingrosie · 12/10/2025 09:36

Whyherewego · 12/10/2025 09:33

I would draft an email requesting a meeting and be super clear with your proposal. Along the lines of

  • I understand that you want xx to take over management of the team on an interim basis
  • I also understand that you wish me to train xx as they do not have background or experience in yy topics
  • I also understand that you wish to expand my responsibilities to include ZZZ as xxx is not qualified to do this task

I am happy to do this on the basis that my additional responsibilities are reflected with the addition of Interim Zzz manager to my current title and my pay is increased by £salary to reflect the additional responsibilities. Clearly I understand this is a temporary arrangement as you reflect on the future management structure for the team.

I look forward to meeting you to discuss this arrangement.

Thank you 👏 I have realised I'm not very good at asking for what I want and I need to be direct in this instance. This is so very appreciated. I'll be drafting something first thing on Monday 🤞

OP posts:
Whyherewego · 12/10/2025 09:33

I would draft an email requesting a meeting and be super clear with your proposal. Along the lines of

  • I understand that you want xx to take over management of the team on an interim basis
  • I also understand that you wish me to train xx as they do not have background or experience in yy topics
  • I also understand that you wish to expand my responsibilities to include ZZZ as xxx is not qualified to do this task

I am happy to do this on the basis that my additional responsibilities are reflected with the addition of Interim Zzz manager to my current title and my pay is increased by £salary to reflect the additional responsibilities. Clearly I understand this is a temporary arrangement as you reflect on the future management structure for the team.

I look forward to meeting you to discuss this arrangement.

Whyherewego · 12/10/2025 09:32

I would draft an email requesting a meeting and be super clear with your proposal. Along the lines of

  • I understand that you want xx to take over management of the team on an interim basis
  • I also understand that you wish me to train xx as they do not have background or experience in yy topics
  • I also understand that you wish to expand my responsibilities to include ZZZ as xxx is not qualified to do this task

I am happy to do this on the basis that my additional responsibilities are reflected with the addition of Interim Zzz manager to my current title and my pay is increased by £salary to reflect the additional responsibilities. Clearly I understand this is a temporary arrangement as you reflect on the future management structure for the team.

I look forward to meeting you to discuss this arrangement.

TeaBiscuitsNaptime · 12/10/2025 09:31

Id wonder if it is cheaper for them do things that way. It mightnt be anything to do with how skilled you are at all. No harm letting them know you are interested and willing to step up too

Original poster
Iseverythingrosie · 12/10/2025 09:26

How do I put it that I would like a new title to reflect the increased responsibilities when it's only on an interim basis? There will be a small pay increase in the interim but the main concern is not being able to show this to a new employer if I do leave which is looking ever more likely given the way I feel.

OP posts:
NellieElephantine · 12/10/2025 09:19

TheSandgroper · 12/10/2025 09:09

You absolutely only do it if you are paid for it and it is reflected in your reference if you ever leave.

If they say no to any of it, you stick to the job description that matches your pay scale. Apparently , you will not be qualified to do the job. After that, redo your cv with all your new skills and shop yourself around.

If you don’t look after Self Interest, no one else will.

Absolutely this. They'll try and sell it as 'such a great opportunity!!' When really they're absolutely taking advantage of you and saving money.

Original poster
Iseverythingrosie · 12/10/2025 09:17

And thank you to all the replies so far. It's good to get some outside perspective.

OP posts:
Original poster
Iseverythingrosie · 12/10/2025 09:15

I should have added that I have had this conversation with my managers line manager and was told they haven't yet finalised whether there will be a role to apply for or what is happening beyond 'considering options' and a rough time scale of six months doing this on an interim basis.

The worst of it is I am the most experienced member of the team (aside from my manager who is leaving) and the one who will be looked on to pass on that knowledge to the interim manager when my current one leaves. I feel backed into a corner to say yes to the interim increase in responsibility and to also basically train another underqualified manager to replace my fantastic current one.

OP posts:
TheSandgroper · 12/10/2025 09:09

You absolutely only do it if you are paid for it and it is reflected in your reference if you ever leave.

If they say no to any of it, you stick to the job description that matches your pay scale. Apparently , you will not be qualified to do the job. After that, redo your cv with all your new skills and shop yourself around.

If you don’t look after Self Interest, no one else will.

SoScarletItWas · 12/10/2025 09:09

We really have to speak up rather than wait to be noticed.

When your manager said they were leaving, if I wanted the job I would have messaged the next-up manager and asked for a chat, outlining what I’d been doing, and asked to discuss the process for replacing manager and expressing my interest.

If that ship has sailed, then have a discussion about what your new title and salary will be for the additional duties that are moving from manager’s role to yours.

Right now you’re making it easy for them so why wouldn’t they ‘just overlook you’. That is shit management but it happens all the time because bosses basically want the easiest route to solve a problem.

They also don’t know your ambitions if you don’t state them.

ETA: just realised manager is still considering the next steps. That is your opportunity to pit yourself forward. Go for it!

Cherrysoup · 12/10/2025 09:08

I think you should approach management with what you’ve said here ie you’ve basically done the job for 4 years and you are disappointed that you haven’t been considered for the job, given you have the experience and qualifications. No harm in making the approach. Tbh, if they still look to appoint someone else, I think you should be looking elsewhere unless they give you a bloody good reason to stay (asking you to do part of the role is very cf behaviour) ie a large raise. I’d be asking for this too.