Page 2 | To feel completely overlooked and demoralised

Iseverythingrosie · 2025-10-12T08:01:20+00:00

Without being too outing my manager is leaving, I've done an unofficial senior role for 4 years to do all the things my manager does when she is on annual leave or sick leave as well as supporting the team with training and development above and beyond my job description. I've received nothing but positive feedback from clients and colleagues during this time and been recognised for my contributions up until now. My managers line manager has decided while considering the next steps to request another manager take over the management in the interim despite zero experience in our department. I have been asked to take on a proportion of the this role as the new interim manager is missing a qualification to do part of the role which I do have. I can't decide if I'm being unreasonable to feel completely overlooked to manage the team in the interim and feel like I'm being used to fill a knowledge/ qualification gap only. The reasoning given is 'resourcing' and I expect to eventually be restructured under the interim manager in the long term. It's made me feel utterly miserable. Any thoughts welcome as I have no-one to talk this through in real life.

Original poster

Iseverythingrosie · 12/10/2025 20:00

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 12/10/2025 18:22

Covering for your manager when she’s on leave isn’t the same thing as actually doing the job. Caveat that if she’s been off for 6 months at a time, but apart from that, no.

There are two ways to look at this - firstly, they could just want someone to cover while they sort themselves out/restructure. This person may not be the long-term solution, and they may be expecting applications from within the team in the long run, but they just want a stop-gap solution for right now. The fact the interim manager lacks a specific qualification would give weight to this theory.

The other possibility is that they’ve written you off for some reason - no one here knows what that reason is or whether it’s fair or not. If you think that’s the case then I would start looking for a new job. But the way to find out is to do as advised upthread and ask whether you would be considered for the role in future. If they’ve already said you can’t be considered as they need your skills where you are, it’s not a good sign, I’m afraid.

I absolutely understand where you are coming from. But, as there have been multiple mentions of my contributions to the team and taking on extra responsibility to date and an absolutely flawless record and praise from management and senior management. I cannot understand the logic of training someone from scratch for an interim role when they have zero experience in this department rather than offer it to someone who does. An analogy would be that our team plays cricket and the interim manager plays football and has never even tried cricket 😆

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Original poster

Iseverythingrosie · 12/10/2025 19:54

Rachand23 · 12/10/2025 18:05

I really feel for you OP management are treating you very badly. However there’s one thing I learnt in the toxic world of work NO ONE IS UNREPLACEABLE . If you can afford it and there’s a good chance of finding another job quickly I would just hand in my notice now, no more asking them to be interim manager. Head up (and 2 fingers!) no crawling allowed. Good luck.

I wish I were in a position to hand my notice in and not have to continue after they've made it clear what they think and have already made the decision. Looks like I'll have to suck it up at least until I find something else.

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Original poster

Iseverythingrosie · 12/10/2025 19:52

CoralOP · 12/10/2025 19:38

Solidarity OP. I was in the same situation 5 years ago.
I was not considered for a promotion but had to fully train the new person because i was 'so amazing'.
I was underpaid by about 7% below the bottom bracket of my pay grade, they brought her in on 40% over the max pay for the grade. It was unbelievable, I don't know how they thought I would be OK with it.
I was praised everyday by all senior management, they literally used to gush over me but they wanted me doing the job I was doing.
About a week after they started I went on the sick, full paid for 6 months then left and set up my own business working a lot less hours and more money. Still can't beleive the situation 5 years later but such is life. Good luck x

Sorry to hear you've been in the same situation. I have considered self employment as the role I do can be done in this way and earnings can far exceed the managerial pay grade let alone mg current grade. I'm just not quite able to given my personal/ home life situation.

It's great to hear you've come out on top! How did you get the confidence to go self employed?

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CoralOP · 12/10/2025 19:38

Solidarity OP. I was in the same situation 5 years ago.
I was not considered for a promotion but had to fully train the new person because i was 'so amazing'.
I was underpaid by about 7% below the bottom bracket of my pay grade, they brought her in on 40% over the max pay for the grade. It was unbelievable, I don't know how they thought I would be OK with it.
I was praised everyday by all senior management, they literally used to gush over me but they wanted me doing the job I was doing.
About a week after they started I went on the sick, full paid for 6 months then left and set up my own business working a lot less hours and more money. Still can't beleive the situation 5 years later but such is life. Good luck x

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 12/10/2025 18:22

Covering for your manager when she’s on leave isn’t the same thing as actually doing the job. Caveat that if she’s been off for 6 months at a time, but apart from that, no.

There are two ways to look at this - firstly, they could just want someone to cover while they sort themselves out/restructure. This person may not be the long-term solution, and they may be expecting applications from within the team in the long run, but they just want a stop-gap solution for right now. The fact the interim manager lacks a specific qualification would give weight to this theory.

The other possibility is that they’ve written you off for some reason - no one here knows what that reason is or whether it’s fair or not. If you think that’s the case then I would start looking for a new job. But the way to find out is to do as advised upthread and ask whether you would be considered for the role in future. If they’ve already said you can’t be considered as they need your skills where you are, it’s not a good sign, I’m afraid.

Rachand23 · 12/10/2025 18:05

I really feel for you OP management are treating you very badly. However there’s one thing I learnt in the toxic world of work NO ONE IS UNREPLACEABLE . If you can afford it and there’s a good chance of finding another job quickly I would just hand in my notice now, no more asking them to be interim manager. Head up (and 2 fingers!) no crawling allowed. Good luck.

Lovehascomeandgone · 12/10/2025 18:05

Cherrysoup · 12/10/2025 09:08

I think you should approach management with what you’ve said here ie you’ve basically done the job for 4 years and you are disappointed that you haven’t been considered for the job, given you have the experience and qualifications. No harm in making the approach. Tbh, if they still look to appoint someone else, I think you should be looking elsewhere unless they give you a bloody good reason to stay (asking you to do part of the role is very cf behaviour) ie a large raise. I’d be asking for this too.

Agree totally and I would do this.

Whyherewego · 12/10/2025 15:10

Iseverythingrosie · 12/10/2025 10:27

It's my understanding that in UK employment law they are well within their rights to just appoint someone or promote without process if there isn't a written process at the company - which there is not.

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I am surprised ! But am definitely not an employment lawyer but pointing out it's sensible at least to consider all options would at least make them think.

CrimsonStoat · 12/10/2025 10:49

when I do decide to move on.

The biggest mistake you will make is not preparing to move on now.

Once you've put your case and they say no, get started.

In six months you could find yourself applying for your own job if they have a restructure, then you'llreally be on the back foot. So you may as well be interviewing elsewhere.

Original poster

Iseverythingrosie · 12/10/2025 10:29

DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 12/10/2025 10:23

I’ve come to realise that senior managers can think you are great, and do absolutely nothing to give you a step up as a result.

It could be a headcount thing - they essentially have a ‘spare’ manager at the right level that they can slot in. That’s frustrating but not a reflection of your ability.

It could be that you’re just not on their radar as being ambitious and interested in the role. It should be obvious, given that you are doing a good job, but if the culture is to ignore anyone not openly advocating for themselves you’ll have to speak up!

Edited

Yes it does seem like a headcount situation but there is also an element to the current managers role which is regulatory and cannot be done without the appropriate qualification which the interim manager does not have but I do.

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Original poster

Iseverythingrosie · 12/10/2025 10:27

Whyherewego · 12/10/2025 10:16

Well done OP. I'd write down your arguments in bullet style to take with you so you are nice and prepared and dont forget anything. Also say to them that they should be considering all possible candidates rather than just picking someone out with no due process

It's my understanding that in UK employment law they are well within their rights to just appoint someone or promote without process if there isn't a written process at the company - which there is not.

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Original poster

Iseverythingrosie · 12/10/2025 10:26

TheSandgroper · 12/10/2025 10:17

Well, for God’s sake, don’t tell them nothing is written down. If you aren’t directed to write a Standard Operating Procedure, it’s a them problem.

And if it isn’t in your JD to write said SOP, don’t make it so.

They have provided you with their opinion of you. You don’t go back and grovel.

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I will not be drawing their attention to lack of SOP but I think they are aware. I don't think they have made a wise decision in pre appointing the other manager when there is a qualification gap and then expecting me to fill it with none of the recognition. This puts me on the back foot if they do decide to recruit for the manager role officially.

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DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 12/10/2025 10:23

I’ve come to realise that senior managers can think you are great, and do absolutely nothing to give you a step up as a result.

It could be a headcount thing - they essentially have a ‘spare’ manager at the right level that they can slot in. That’s frustrating but not a reflection of your ability.

It could be that you’re just not on their radar as being ambitious and interested in the role. It should be obvious, given that you are doing a good job, but if the culture is to ignore anyone not openly advocating for themselves you’ll have to speak up!

TheSandgroper · 12/10/2025 10:17

Iseverythingrosie · 12/10/2025 10:14

Thank you to everyone who has replied, it's really helped clarify that my suspicions are correct. I believe the reason for the timescale for this interim role is for the other manage to gain the qualification to take over so very much will be used.

I would like to have the interim manager role as it will help with stepping up to the next level of my career and I believe it will help me when I do decide to move on.

I think I will ask for the interim manager role and give all the reasons why and when they say no as they have already decided to make the other manager this then I will be saying no to the increase in responsibility for very little reward (pay or title) and push for a move elsewhere. Not to blow my own trumpet but there is a lot of knowledge that will be walking out the door if both my manager (who is already leaving) and I leave as nothing is written down anywhere.

Well, for God’s sake, don’t tell them nothing is written down. If you aren’t directed to write a Standard Operating Procedure, it’s a them problem.

And if it isn’t in your JD to write said SOP, don’t make it so.

They have provided you with their opinion of you. You don’t go back and grovel.

Whyherewego · 12/10/2025 10:16

Well done OP. I'd write down your arguments in bullet style to take with you so you are nice and prepared and dont forget anything. Also say to them that they should be considering all possible candidates rather than just picking someone out with no due process

Original poster

Iseverythingrosie · 12/10/2025 10:14

Thank you to everyone who has replied, it's really helped clarify that my suspicions are correct. I believe the reason for the timescale for this interim role is for the other manage to gain the qualification to take over so very much will be used.

I would like to have the interim manager role as it will help with stepping up to the next level of my career and I believe it will help me when I do decide to move on.

I think I will ask for the interim manager role and give all the reasons why and when they say no as they have already decided to make the other manager this then I will be saying no to the increase in responsibility for very little reward (pay or title) and push for a move elsewhere. Not to blow my own trumpet but there is a lot of knowledge that will be walking out the door if both my manager (who is already leaving) and I leave as nothing is written down anywhere.

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TangerinePlate · 12/10/2025 10:08

Everything @CrimsonStoat said. All of it.

@Iseverythingrosie they don’t want you to move as they don’t have anybody lined up to replace you. You will never get a promotion in your current company.They already showed you this is the case.

Ask your leaving manager for reference,polish up your cv, time to move onto new pastures.

Good luck.

AbzMoz · 12/10/2025 10:08

Tbh I wouldn’t waste time on the interim role.

I’d say it’s clear that the role between your former manager and your own are now blurred and that what they are proposing has a material impact on your job description. As a result, let’s review that as well as salary and title. There is a risk that clients or the team will lose confidence if the point of escalation isn’t qualified, so it’s in the firm’s interest to ensure you’re positioned as ‘Team Lead’ ‘Senior Widget Expert’ - or whatever.

Do you actually want the interim management job - and is that more about HR, people management etc, vs Widget expertise?

TheSandgroper · 12/10/2025 10:00

“You are needed where you are” is their way of saying “err, no, fuck you very much for applying “.

Original poster

Iseverythingrosie · 12/10/2025 10:00

CrimsonStoat · 12/10/2025 09:58

In that case you absolutely must say no to the small pay increase, and stick to your current job. Tell them you don't feel comfortable because there's no clear job title or job description accompanying the temporary increase in pay, and you feel without that there's potential for you to not be able to perform effectively.

They're just trying to milk you for your knowledge and experience.

And it's now time to look for a new job.

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Thank you, this has given me the confidence to say no. I am going to tell them that I would happily take on the responsibility for the interim manager position and point out why I am qualified to do so but no thank you to being used for my qualifications and knowledge on it's own (will word this better when I figure out how!)

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CrimsonStoat · 12/10/2025 10:00

been told basically I'm needed where I am

This comes up over and over on Mumsnet. Brilliant employees overlooked because they've proved themselves to be such an asset where they are!

It's always time to move on when that happens!

CrimsonStoat · 12/10/2025 09:58

Iseverythingrosie · 12/10/2025 09:46

Thank you, I have no idea how to negotiate the interim manager role and it looks like it's already been decided. I have brought this up that I have the skillset to do the interim manager role but been told basically I'm needed where I am and they don't want to take resource from our already understaffed team.

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In that case you absolutely must say no to the small pay increase, and stick to your current job. Tell them you don't feel comfortable because there's no clear job title or job description accompanying the temporary increase in pay, and you feel without that there's potential for you to not be able to perform effectively.

They're just trying to milk you for your knowledge and experience.

And it's now time to look for a new job.

Original poster

Iseverythingrosie · 12/10/2025 09:46

CrimsonStoat · 12/10/2025 09:38

The worst of it is I am the most experienced member of the team (aside from my manager who is leaving) and the one who will be looked on to pass on that knowledge to the interim manager when my current one leaves. I feel backed into a corner to say yes to the interim increase in responsibility and to also basically train another underqualified manager to replace my fantastic current one.

They're being very sneaky, aren't they?!

They don't want you in the role, for whatever reason, but want to use all your experience to train someone else? And they get you to do this by increasing your salary for the interim, making it difficult for you to not do what they want.

I think I would try to negotiate yourself into the interim manager role, and if that doesn't happen, say no to the small increase, and look for another job. It's absolutely not worth taking a bit extra money only to have to give your knowledge and expertise away. You're worth more than that.

Ask the manager who's leaving for a reference as well as the standard employer one. That way you'll have your hard work and knowledge confirmed to new employer.

Thank you, I have no idea how to negotiate the interim manager role and it looks like it's already been decided. I have brought this up that I have the skillset to do the interim manager role but been told basically I'm needed where I am and they don't want to take resource from our already understaffed team.

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SoScarletItWas · 12/10/2025 09:38

Iseverythingrosie · 12/10/2025 09:36

Thank you 👏 I have realised I'm not very good at asking for what I want and I need to be direct in this instance. This is so very appreciated. I'll be drafting something first thing on Monday 🤞

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Make sure you also include that you are capable of and interested in taking on the full role. Don’t get pigeon holed into half of it and let the other interim person be automatically appointed to the proper team manager role.

CrimsonStoat · 12/10/2025 09:38

The worst of it is I am the most experienced member of the team (aside from my manager who is leaving) and the one who will be looked on to pass on that knowledge to the interim manager when my current one leaves. I feel backed into a corner to say yes to the interim increase in responsibility and to also basically train another underqualified manager to replace my fantastic current one.

They're being very sneaky, aren't they?!

They don't want you in the role, for whatever reason, but want to use all your experience to train someone else? And they get you to do this by increasing your salary for the interim, making it difficult for you to not do what they want.

I think I would try to negotiate yourself into the interim manager role, and if that doesn't happen, say no to the small increase, and look for another job. It's absolutely not worth taking a bit extra money only to have to give your knowledge and expertise away. You're worth more than that.

Ask the manager who's leaving for a reference as well as the standard employer one. That way you'll have your hard work and knowledge confirmed to new employer.