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Original poster

MIL wants to do my kids Christmas stockings…again

365 replies

Gagamama2 · 12/10/2025 08:07

I’m prepared to get flamed here as being an ungrateful first-world-problem twat, but hear me out (and please flame me gently if I need it):

My kids are 9, 7 and 6. We spend alternate Christmases between both sets of grandparents houses as they live hours from each other. This year it’s our turn to go to my parents in laws place, along with the rest of the large extended family (my partner is one of 5).

Every year that we go to his parents place, my MIL insists on doing all the grandkids stockings. Both providing them (they are beautiful ones she has sewn) and filling them. The first year I was a bit sad about this as had looked forward to doing my own kids stocking so I made him one that we opened with him upstairs in our room before we all went downstairs and did the “real” stockings with the other grandkids that are hung by the fire. But it was akward and when the older grandkids saw my son’s second stocking upstairs there were questions. Since then I’ve shut up and accepted the grandma stocking for my kids every other year.

the last time we were there they really fell flat for my eldest. The younger two didn’t mind so much but he (like all kids I guess) fixates on the stocking in the run up to Christmas and is incredibly excited about what will be inside. We don’t put expensive stuff in there on the years it’s our turn to do it, but he does get things he really wants. We don’t go crazy about the big gifts either (each kids gets up to three presents from us), so the stocking forms quite a big part of the day.

grandma sees my kids once a year and doesn’t reallly know them aside from knowing the basics like grandson is sporty, Granddaughter is arty, etc. all the grandkids get the same presents in the stocking bar little tweaks, like they will all get a book but they will get diffferent books. This leads to none of the stockings being particularly personal / relevant to any of the kids.

i would really like to ask MiL not to do my kids stockings this year but I don’t know if this is warranted / appropriate. It’s probably the last year my eldest will actually believe in the big man as well. What would you guys do??

OP posts:
Luddite26 · 12/10/2025 15:23

She didn't get into trouble she chose to sneak about hiding it instead of saying hey my kids wake up early so they can have their presents from us then and grannies at 9am.
She really is making a problem out of nothing. It's been a drip feed. But I just think it's completely bonkers to go for Christmas to someone you only see once a year because they have a busy life doing their own thing. Must be weird.

DappledThings · 12/10/2025 15:20

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 12/10/2025 15:15

You’d have a point if OP hadn’t got into trouble for having the audacity to give her own child a stocking on Christmas morning because the “poor old bugger” can’t tolerate having anything less than everything at Christmas being exactly her way.

Edited
Show quote history

Where does it say that? All I can see in OP's post is that when she did a second stocking it was akward and when the older grandkids saw my son’s second stocking upstairs there were questions which doesn’t suggest anyone got in trouble or the MIL was herself put out.

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 12/10/2025 15:15

KaleidoscopeSmile · 12/10/2025 14:50

Ah the annual MN batshittery where someone's overstepped some unspoken boundary and everyone froths at her unbelievable fucking CHEEK. It's almost always an older women who's being frothed about and the poor bugger doesn't know anything about it as no-one's ever mentioned it and she probably thinks she's doing something nice. Merry effing Christmas everyone!

You’d have a point if OP hadn’t got into trouble for having the audacity to give her own child a stocking on Christmas morning because the “poor old bugger” can’t tolerate having anything less than everything at Christmas being exactly her way.

MamaorBruh · 12/10/2025 15:00

Absolutely tell her this year you would like to do your own stocking. Perhaps say it's your last ever year of DC1 believing and you don't want to pass that excitement of doing the stocking for someone else to enjoy.
Also - off topic but haven't you ever wanted a Christmas in your own home with your kids - that way you can do stockings etc your own way.

RampantIvy · 12/10/2025 14:57

KaleidoscopeSmile · 12/10/2025 14:50

Ah the annual MN batshittery where someone's overstepped some unspoken boundary and everyone froths at her unbelievable fucking CHEEK. It's almost always an older women who's being frothed about and the poor bugger doesn't know anything about it as no-one's ever mentioned it and she probably thinks she's doing something nice. Merry effing Christmas everyone!

I couldn't agree more.

Some people are so easily offended.

This is such a non event first world problem and not a hill I would die on.

I can't think of any more clichés.

KaleidoscopeSmile · 12/10/2025 14:50

Ah the annual MN batshittery where someone's overstepped some unspoken boundary and everyone froths at her unbelievable fucking CHEEK. It's almost always an older women who's being frothed about and the poor bugger doesn't know anything about it as no-one's ever mentioned it and she probably thinks she's doing something nice. Merry effing Christmas everyone!

AcrobaticCardigan · 12/10/2025 14:18

What do the other families think about MiL doing the stocking & how fo they manage this? I see the importance of trying to keep the cousins similar in terms of gifts if they’re all opening them together. I guarantee if you raise this, other parents will feel the same & you can come up with an alternative plan that still allows MiL some involvement.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 12/10/2025 14:04

So I think it’s best if everyone relaxes about other that includes the MIL!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 12/10/2025 13:51

I think I’d give them a pre stocking before you leave for MILs.

But I think our approach to Father Christmas has always been a bit vague. My mum had occasionally done mine and extra stocking and they knew it was from her and no one was bothered.

Also it allows me to say “I don’t know I can’t keep track of all the presents” when they badger me as to whether FC is real 😂

Christmasbear1 · 12/10/2025 13:17

I don't get it. Just have 2 stocking. It's literally presents in a fabric

bruffin · 12/10/2025 13:17

Chipsahoy · 12/10/2025 13:01

Shes had her time being mum and bringing magic to her children’s lives. This is your time, why are you allowing her to have this? It’s absolutely a hill I’d die on. We stay home and we do our own thing, in our way. Others can visit if they wish but Christmas if for us and our children. When my kids have their kids, it will be about them and we will fit in with them.

I really hate this attitude, its so mean spirited, being a nan is a time of bringing magic into a child's life without having to be the bad guy!
My dc adored their grandparents and all my friends have started to having grandchildren and they are finding it such a special time in their lives.

Luddite26 · 12/10/2025 13:13

Netcurtainnelly · 12/10/2025 12:22

He isn't s scrooge hes actually sensible.
This thread is awful all about how many presents a kid can get at Xmas.
Who needs all these presents and why?
I've an idea why don't some of you buy some presents if you must for kids who get nothing or donate to a charity instead.
Jeez.

Show quote history

Maybe many on here do donate to charities at Christmas. Many kids get a lot for Xmas it's the way of the world if you want it to be. Or it's one of life's pleasures - adults buying gifts for kids. Or don't .
The thread isn't really about how much it's the dynamics. OP said she doesn't like mil doing the stocking because the gifts may go to waste.

zeebra · 12/10/2025 13:13

Silly Santa has cocked up. When all the car is loaded to go, you have forgotten something. Go back in, put the stockings out and then leave. Go to Grans. Come back a few days later. Act shocked at Santa- Poor Santa must of been so busy he didn't realise that you weren't home. Stockings more personalised explained for doubters as they were delivered to your house rather than random house. You can spend a lovely time opening stockings, playing with new things. Bonus extra presents for children. Everyone happy- kids happy, you're happy, Granny happy ( and Granny does not need to know). Then it is another 2 years before you have the same problem again which by then the younger ones might have forgotten about Santas cock up!!

vickylou78 · 12/10/2025 13:04

Go to Mil and FIL on boxing day instead. Problem solved!!

Chipsahoy · 12/10/2025 13:01

Shes had her time being mum and bringing magic to her children’s lives. This is your time, why are you allowing her to have this? It’s absolutely a hill I’d die on. We stay home and we do our own thing, in our way. Others can visit if they wish but Christmas if for us and our children. When my kids have their kids, it will be about them and we will fit in with them.

vickylou78 · 12/10/2025 12:58

Honestly I'd arrange to not be there for Christmas morning! Can you arrange to arrive later in the day and do opening stockings at your own home?

Praying4Peace · 12/10/2025 12:54

Cut mil some slack
She obviously puts alot of effort into the stockings and she is your children's nan

WatchingTheDetective · 12/10/2025 12:47

Your MIL is being really unreasonable. She enjoys Christmas so surely she knows you will, too. She had five children of her own so had about 100 opportunities to fill a stocking. She's denying you that opportunity. She's really out of order.

littleburn · 12/10/2025 12:33

It’s every other Christmas, so I don’t think it’s a hill I’d die on tbh. Could they also have a stocking at your house? So Father Christmas drops one off at both houses and it’s a lovely treat for them when they get home from the grandparents?

flapjackfairy · 12/10/2025 12:23

musicinme · 12/10/2025 12:07

Oh dear, you would hate me. I do stockings for my grandchildren and still do them for my children and their spouses. In fact anyone who comes on Christmas Day gets one... but my children/grandchildren get one even if they are not with us. In my own defence I would say every item is picked and given with love.... small, personal, often very cheap...that sounds a bit pretentious (sorry). I hope my children don't feel as the OP does, but maybe they do. You have made me think.

yes but presumably you make an effort to engage with them the rest of the year ? This grandma is hogging a key part of christmas but not making any effort to actually build a relationship with her grandchildren

Netcurtainnelly · 12/10/2025 12:22

Gagamama2 · 12/10/2025 08:13

I don’t know to be honest. My partner doesn’t care, but then he hates the gifting side of Christmas and acts like a big Scrooge about it all. I’m reluctant to bring it up with the other parents as don’t want to be seen bad mouthing.

Show quote history

He isn't s scrooge hes actually sensible.
This thread is awful all about how many presents a kid can get at Xmas.
Who needs all these presents and why?
I've an idea why don't some of you buy some presents if you must for kids who get nothing or donate to a charity instead.
Jeez.

tinyspiny · 12/10/2025 12:22

Tutorpuzzle · 12/10/2025 08:19

This is definitely a hill I would not die on! Create a new tradition…before you leave (or after you get back) from pil’s, have a surprise “oh my, Santa has come early (or again) this year! Look, more stockings!!”

Your in laws don’t sound much trouble the rest of the year, so I’d go for diplomacy 🤣.

This is what I would do , does this really matter in the grand scheme of things .

Ryah76 · 12/10/2025 12:19

@Gagamama2 Wow- once every alternate year your mother in law gets do this and you want to take that away from her! Why not ask MIL to include one of your gifts in their stocking? That way she still gets to carry out a tradition which is clearly something she looks forward to, and your kids get a gift they want.

TorroFerney · 12/10/2025 12:18

Gagamama2 · 12/10/2025 08:11

Well I was thinking of doing this but all the grandkids are now that bit older that it will def create questions, not least from my own kids! Like why do we have two stockings? And I’m sure they would mention to their cousins they got an extra stocking then there would be more questions. There are 10 cousins and they are all besties

Show quote history

I know this isn't what you are doing but this all comes off as if you will do anything for an easy life/to avoid conflict - even if your own child is upset. Your child is family - your MIL is some random woman , only connection being you have sex with her son. Just tell her, she may not care, she may go mental but that's not your issue.

I've never had a stocking so can't quite get the fuss.

Needaglowup · 12/10/2025 12:10

I would do your Christmas Eve or Boxing Day… make it your own tradition

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