MIL wants to do my kids Christmas stockings…again

Oh dear, MIL’s are are getting too stereotyped on this thread.

Ask her how much joy she got from doing it when her own children were small then gently say that you’re missing out on experiencing that yourself and would like to do stockings for your children your way.

Sounds like MIL is taking over a bit! How do the other DIL/SIL’s feel about it? Surely out of 5 siblings and partners you cant be the only one who would like to do their own childs gifts? Maybe speak to the others and see what other people think?

Your kids can have as many stockings as YOU want them to have.

Blimey, the amount of people saying that the Mother-in-Law should be left to do the children's stockings is bizarre. Why, when she's already brought up her own children, and, probably, given them many stockings over the years, should she then be allowed to take over something the OP would clearly love to do herself?
Some parents love to do that stuff themselves, and the grandparents need to realise that they've had their opportunity to do this stuff. If they didn't do it when their own kids were growing up, why on earth should they be given that chance now?
Utterly bizarre the way some people on this thread seem to think that a grandparent's needs should be considered over the actual parents'.

Why don't you talk to her about it soon and give her some guidance on what your children like so the stockings are genuinely personal/ useful / appreciated gifts? Or you could send some small items for it in the post to her house and make it a collaborative effort.

This is so tough @Gagamama2 you can’t say the stocking from Grandma is from Grandma if all the cousins stockings are from Santa.
Could you maybe wrap the presents you would have put in their stockings and just leave at the foot of the beds for them from Santa? Tell the others in advance that you’re going to give yours a couple of presents to open from Santa in their rooms, use the excuse that they wake up at 6am and you want them to have something for the 3 hours before everyone else wakes!….

just a

‘Hey everyone, can’t wait to see you all at Christmas. Just wanted to give everyone a heads up that we will be getting our kids small presents to open in bedrooms before we all go downstairs to open main ones and stockings. I know when we did this before the other children were confused so just wanted to give everyone a bit of notice this year that this will be happening again this Christmas, so if you wanted to you can get yours something small to wake up to too…. It will also give my early risers something to occupy them while waiting for the rest of the house to awaken. ‘

Any push back from anyone, simply say.

‘Sorry but our kids wake to a stocking in their rooms, it’s a tradition that we want to continue doing every year regardless of where we are. Thanks’

Or get your husband to ring his mum and simply tell her that your kiddies will be opening a couple of small gifts as soon as they wake up in their rooms at hers and that it’s not something you both want to compromise on going forward, as your kids have to sit on their hands for 3 hours every Christmas waiting for others to wake up and it isn’t fair on them!

if anyone says it’s not fair on the other kids, point out that the reason you’re telling them upfront is so that they can buy their kids small token gift to put at end of bed too! Then it’s their choice whether to or not !

Does MIL live so far away that you can't just drive to hers in the morning? My favourite part of Christmas when the kids were young was first thing in the morning - watching them opening their stockings. So, even if it meant waking up extra early to be able to travel to her house, I would have to watch my boys open their stockings from me first.

Just let MIL do the stockings and give your kids the extra stuff you wanted to be in them as presents. Most kids are only concerned with what they actually receive. Mine wouldnt have cared less what was in a stocking, as long as they had gifts they liked as well. I feel you are being petty and need to get over this.

Could you suggest that you will bring the gifts for her to use in her Stockings?

Of course OP's MIL is allowed to prioritise herself, even if it means that she only sees her grandchildren once a year. What it doesn't do is give her special privileges because she only sees them once a year. The stockings tradition is all about MIL and what she wants. She could use her stockings but let the parents choose some of the gifts. OP is obviously worried about bringing this up so I would imagine that her MIL isn't the easiest of people so OP feels under pressure to conform and let MIL have her own way.

This would be a very hard no for me. Doing my children's stockings was one of the most important part of Christmas for me. Tell her she can contribute if she wants, but YOU are doing them.

Just put the tamagotchi under the tree? Just because it can fit in a stocking surely doesn't mean it has to?

maybe you could do christmas eve box instead? so not quite stocking but can put all the same things in there?

just give the tamagotchi from yourself
let her do the stockings, it sounds far easier
sounds lovely with all the 10 cousins together, they will remember that far more than whether they got a tamagotchi in their stocking

Honestly Mil obviously doesn’t have to scrimp and save for Christmas. Does she do all the cooking? Or how is that organised with so many people present?
The most important thing is the children alll forming their cousin tribe and having a great time which will be a lifelong gift for them long after mil and their own parents have gone. Enjoy being saved all the pressure of catering, have a good time and be grateful. You’ll miss this when your mil isn’t up to it anymore.
If you must have stockings at home that Santa left as he didn’t know you were away.

I have been so overinvested in this thread. But work was a bit slow yesterday!
So much so I read it out to DH to see what he thought.
Sorry OP on the face of your posts he thinks you just are a bit peeved with mil. He thinks you are making a non problem and could just give your kids a stocking before you go / when you get back/ while you are there.
Leave mil to get on with making her stockings and don't rock the boat as the family memories are what's important. Or just end things and have Xmas at home.

I have sympathy with you simply because mil isn't really involved with the kids the rest of the year. Visiting maybe feels like a chore/summons. But I personally wouldn't kick up a fuss. Have you not spoken to sister in laws about how their kids are changing as they get older?
Personally I would do a Christmas day at home before you go if work permits so the kids know they're getting what they asked for and you're not carting a car load of stuff up and down the country.

I think people should be grateful for the family that they have. I would have loved to have gone to grandparents for Christmas and received a lovely stocking that was filled with lovely things. Your children won't be little forever so I think you should let your MIL enjoy this time to do something with them like that and plus she won't be around forever either so I think you should cut her some slack. Maybe this tradition that she has with the stockings is something that she looks forward to all year and makes her Christmas that bit special too. If your children enjoy it then I don't see she's doing any harm. There are a lot worse things that could happen. Merry Christmas everyone 🎁 🎄

Random woman lol
Hardly
What a strange way to look at it

Could you leave a stocking hung up at your home so the kids find it on their return?

What a lovely tradition for her to keep up. Don't stop it it would be a huge loss.

I'd hang mine downstairs and open them in public so everyone can see how to do a good stocking.

I'd also start staying home 50% of Christmas Days because you all deserve your own Christmas traditions.

How long are you at MIL’s for Christmas? Is it just Christmas Day or a few days? When do you give your children their main presents from you and dad? Can’t you make their stocking and leave it at home to open when you get back?

I think perhaps a bit of it is the “pressure” for the stockings to be special as it’s the only thing Santa leaves for your kids ? With their cousins is that the same ? Or do they get gifts under the tree from Santa too ? Just wondering is there an explanation you could use there about extra stocking gifts or another stocking at home because you guys buy the “big” items and so Santa gave extra stockings as you’re getting bigger / you’re so good etc
in terms of any potential disappointment with the stocking contents at MILs house you could
chat about how you’ve noticed Santa likes to keep them very similar and fair when they are alltogether with their big cousin family so there’s no jealousy etc … this might manage expectations ? And maybe if you want to keep the peace and let MIL do the stockings for all, then you or Santa may have to leave some additional gifts under the tree or the other stocking at your house ?

I’d let the elves deliver a pre-Christmas stocking to home. Make up a story about why they do that. You can have your own little thing before you leave.