To think people should just pronounce her name the way she has asked them to?

What's hard about saying Marine?

Yeah we have an Ewa at work. Everyone says it the way she does :) It’s not hard. There was also a French girl called Marine. We found her name a bit more difficult but everyone tried their best!

The difference being it’s not the initial pronunciation. It’s being corrected and then people insisting on using the wrong name and then laughing about it behind her back.

I thought we pronounced it Ehva in the UK!

When I worked in a crèche in Fife in the late 80s we often had a couple of Chinese children come in. They were being fostered by a British woman. The children's parents decided to have them fostered out so that they could work as many hours as possible. I'm not going to comment on that. I would not say that this was a frequent occurrence but there seemed to be a little cluster of Chinese children fostered for the same reported reason at that time. The foster mother said that the children were given British names because the parents simply did not want us using their real, Chinese names. Why? I do not know. Was this true? Again, I do not know, this is what was reported to me a few times.

I wonder how many men have their names misspelt.

I was coming here to give that exact example!

I used to know two children, both called Maya.

One pronounced it My-ah.

The other pronounced it May-a. (Like mayonnaise she used to tell people!)

We would see both regularly and in similar settings. So often I’d be about to say the child’s name and be panic struck and forget which version I was supposed to be using!

If you’re used to pronouncing things a certain way, sometimes old habits die hard and you can just keep on getting it wrong, especially when the pronunciation isn’t native to your tongue.

In her shoes I wouldn’t bother to constantly correct them because it feels like a regional variation - but I understand her preference to do so.

I think anyone deliberately not trying to remember is a dick. But equally I wouldn’t automatically assume that people are doing it on purpose.

The rest of the conversation sounded dreadful though and I’d not be ok with any of that!

This example is interesting. A French speaker may well struggle to pronounce Rachel, because the "ch" phoneme does not exist in French. That would be down to accent - what might be deemed an "acceptable" mispronunciation, as "sh" is the closest approximation of the English sound.

On the other hand, Rachel is categorically not pronounced Raquel in Spanish. Raquel is pronounced Raquel. They are two names with the same root. It would be extremely unusual for a Spanish speaker to see the name Rachel written down and read it as Raquel, because Spanish spellings are always phonetic. They would likely pronounce the initial consonant somewhat differently to an English speaker, but the pronunciation would otherwise be extremely similar. A Spanish speaker insisting that "Rachel" is really "Raquel" would be a bit of a prick.

In the OP's coworker's case, the common international pronunciation of "Eva" is not hard for an English speaker to produce.

FWIW my name comes from one culture, but I've lived most of my life in countries with very different cultures; the vast majority of people I meet mispronounce my name. If someone goes for the closest approximation they can manage, that's fine. If someone deliberately chooses to call me a different name, even after I've introduced myself, they're a disrespectful prick. In my experience, it's pretty easy to spot the difference.

It clearly bothers her so good manners would be to make the effort to pronounce it how she wants it pronounced.

However I will say that I think it’s a bit fussy to be so annoyed by it. I’ve never even thought about it when my name is “mispronounced” when I’ve spent time in other countries. In fact, even in Britain I often have it altered by foreign people to suit their own language even whilst speaking English.

EG let’s say my name is Rachel, in France they pronounced it with a Sh sound instead of the English Ch, and in Spain they pronounced it Raquel.

It would have never occurred to me to take offence. It’s literally just how they say my name in their own language.

I have an unusual name that is mispronounced 90% of the time. It doesn't bother me. It bothers friends, family and colleagues a lot. I don't like the attention around correcting people. Two of my kids also Have unusual name .

Anyway one day I had my DS at a doctor and she just couldn't pronounce his name - she really tried. She then explained to me she is dyslexic and it can manifest in this way. There is dyslexia in my family but I had never heard of this. I googled it at the time and sure enough dyslexia can impact our ability to pronounce stuff.

I'd just start calling them all Ben (unless their name is actually Ben 😂). Then, when they correct you, you can say you thought it didn't matter if you mispronounced their names, as they do it all the time.

@MightyMort with my accent I'd pronounce Helen as Helin. Isobel would be Isible.

I had neighbours from Yorkshire whose daughter I thought was called Ellen. It wasn't until a letter was delivered to me by mistake that I discovered it was Helen.
Goodness knows how Yorkshire people know which name is correct.

If there's only one Eva, then they're rude. They also need reporting to HR.

Some occasions require some slack though. Teaching Mia (Mee-ah), Mya (My-ah), Mya (Mee-ah), Meelia and Maia (May-ah) all in one room was a head fuck.

So my name is Helen. I’m British. Nice easy name yes? My FIL is also British. He absolutely cannot say my name. He pronounces it Helin. I don’t know why. It actually doesn’t bother me in the slightest. But my husband has tried to correct him but he cannot hear the difference. He’s a lovely lovely name. He is definitely not doing it deliberately. My husband says my name. Helen. FIL repeats back Helin.

Also has anyone here watched the Scandinavian show The Bridge? The main character is called Saga. She is Swedish and pronounces her name Sar-ga. Her Danish colleagues call her Say-ga. It is never mentioned or even acknowledged that the two countries pronounce her name very differently. I assume because they just pronounce it differently and no one gets upset over it. It just is what it is.

I also wonder how people feel about accents. Like the Scottish pronunciation of for example William. Would an English person get upset if Scottish person said Will-yam rather than Willy-am?

I did work with someone and I simply couldn't say her surname properly. I practised and so on - even with some coaching - and I couldn't get it perfect. I think she appreciated the effort.

this is why I get fed up

My XH's cousin married a girl called Nadia. XMiL was in a flap as to how it was pronounced.
"Is it Naaahdia" or something that sounded like Niddia she asked me.

I couldn't really answer because in my accent I don't make either of those sounds. It was just Na-dee-ah

I correct mine constantly at work and well, everywhere
it’s Danielle, I’m not male so my name isn’t Daniel
the name Danielle appears to have vanished and people are only capable of saying Daniel and then get pissed off with me when I correct it
it drives me mad and I’m looking into changing it because I am sick of it!

I’ve only ever heard it as BAIT-oh-v’n. Which is probably still incorrect, but the stress is definitely on the first syllable.

My name’s one that usually get s abbreviated. People usually call me by the short version, whereas I think of myself by the long.

I do notice but I let it go. I can see it’s annoying but it would be easier for her relationships if she weren’t so uptight about it.

How did you manage to turn it so she’s the problem? How utterly bizarre.

Of course she’s not ‘making herself a target’. The idiots insisting on anglicising her name are ‘making themselves bullies’.

You've never heard British people pronounce Beethoven as 'Bait-HOE-vuhn' ?! I've virtually never heard any British people pronounce it as anything other than that!!

Mozart is another oddity, as almost everybody in the English-speaking world correctly inserts the German 'T' sound before the Z, but never pronounces the O in anything other than a very English way. Thus English would be 'MOE-zart', German would be 'MOR-tzart', but we end up with a hybrid of 'MOE-tzart'.

I think we're discussing at cross purposes, though! If somebody introduces themselves by pronouncing it as 'DAR-fid', 'DAR-veet', 'DAY-vid' or anything else, then of course that is their name, and absolutely the way you should pronounce it too.

However, I've never heard David Hasselhoff - or indeed any other British or American David - pronounce his name as anything other than 'DAY-vid'.

But I don't think this is a case of people not being able to hear the difference. Based on what the OP said, it's intentional. And the recounting by the OP of the conversation in the pub suggests it is pretty close to bullying and also xenophobic.

I also work in the same building as a Tanya pronounced Tarnia, they’re both right surely. And because I’m a soft southerner, I say grass as grahs with a longer a rather than gr-ass. Do you pronounce the h in Graham or say Step-hen when it’s not spelled as Steven?

Perhaps have a word with her yourself and explain that she is on a losing wicket here. I gave up a long time ago trying to get people to pronounce my name as my father wanted it to be pronounced. I’m having the same problem with my grandson but people just do not seem to hear the difference. It’s frustrating but ultimately there is nothing you can do about it.