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Original poster

Christmas alone, just the two of us!

35 replies

Wildflower44 · 11/10/2025 11:09

Hi all, it's my first post here - would welcome some opinions :)
I've been with my partner for 11 years and every year we've spent Christmas with his mum and brother (unless brother goes away on a fabulous trip somewhere). This year I've found a lovely cabin by the sea in Scotland 3 hours from us (available 20th - 27th) and suggested to my partner we go there for Christmas, just the two of us - I'm hankering after a day lounging in PJ's, watching films, reading, cooking dinner - just a relaxed no pressure day! My partner doesn't want to let his mum down - she's 95 but a very active 95; lives in her own beautiful property, goes out to see friends/cinema/restaurants etc. We live in the same town so see her regularly. Partner's brother will be home for Christmas so will be spending it with her. I've suggested we could spend New Years Day together, am I being unreasonable? Cheers for reading this if you've got this far ;)

OP posts:
Deadringer · 11/10/2025 11:30

Spend it with your mil.

KimberleyClark · 11/10/2025 11:29

KTheGrey · 11/10/2025 11:12

Depends whether your partner’s mother is going to start saying it could be her last Christmas, because there is no come back to that really.

If she says yes, go and enjoy yourselves, I would say you’re good to go.

God, my in-laws were saying that when they were barely 80!

dontlikeham · 11/10/2025 11:28

At 95, I’d stick with tradition and go to your lovely cottage for NYE instead.

Fidgety31 · 11/10/2025 11:26

She’s 95 - you should be encouraging your partner to spend Christmas with his mum . If you don’t want to go then don’t.
its hugely unfair to ask him not to . At her age she will not have many if any Christmas left . You sound very selfish for expecting your partner to do what you want in these circumstances. You’ll have many Christmas in the future when his mum has gone to sit in your log cabin .

Original poster
Wildflower44 · 11/10/2025 11:18

KTheGrey · 11/10/2025 11:12

Depends whether your partner’s mother is going to start saying it could be her last Christmas, because there is no come back to that really.

If she says yes, go and enjoy yourselves, I would say you’re good to go.

thank you, she's been telling us it's her last Christmas for the past 10 years but yes if it was I'd feel terrible!

OP posts:
Starling7 · 11/10/2025 11:16

Your idea sounds wondeful, but perhaps consider booking it from boxing day? I completely understand your longing for a cosy relaxed Christmas, but I can't help seeing it also from MIL point of view. AT 95 it could be her last Christmas. I think she may be hurt and disappointed. The cosy cabin will be wonderful no matter when you go ❤️

Holliegee · 11/10/2025 11:15

I think I’d just stick with tradition - she’s 95 and realistically her Christmas’s are limited.
Maybe suggest to your partner you have a little Xmas break there after the day and celebrate together in the lovely way you hanker after.

Showerflowers · 11/10/2025 11:14

My mil is similar age and my dh treasures every Christmas he has left with her. We visit every Christmas Day for a good few hours. It means a lot to him so I’m happy to go away before or after Christmas if we feel like a trip. There’s not many years left at her age

PevenseygirlQQ · 11/10/2025 11:12

I don’t think you’re being unreasonable OP it sounds lovely, at 95 how many more christmases does your MIL realistically have (i know that sounds awful) maybe your DH wants to spend them with her?

Can you compromise and maybe see her xmas eve and go away xmas eve and stay until new year?

KTheGrey · 11/10/2025 11:12

Depends whether your partner’s mother is going to start saying it could be her last Christmas, because there is no come back to that really.

If she says yes, go and enjoy yourselves, I would say you’re good to go.

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