How to gently tell partner I don't like gift

It’s really difficult isn’t it but I’d say something like ‘I’ve been thinking about ways to say this that don’t hurt your feelings because I love you so much and I love the gesture but I don’t like this watch I’m afraid, would it be okay if we went and chose something together? I’m not allowed watches at work so I could get a fancy nurses fob or something?’

You could get a decent smart device that goes in a fob.

My husband is watch mad too and did the same for me. I did grow to love it actually as I got a lot of compliments on it. I did once have to tell him about a handbag he bought me and, of my gosh it was vile. I didn’t even want to wear it when just with him so I just told him gently like above.

If he’s the type to get cross about it, that says more about him than you. He’ll naturally be dismayed as he thought about you.

don’t bring up the cost. That’s his choice and he chose to spend it on you so don’t bring it up.

Well, if it's a 'male thing' and nothing to do with not caring or trying, they should try harder, shouldn't they? Why is it that women have to pander to men not being able to perform certain tasks and just receive gifts that we have no use for just so their pride isn't hurt?!
The OP has been with her partner for an entire decade, surely, by now, he should know what she can wear to work and should know that she's not into the thing he collects?!
We need to stop giving men such an easy ride, otherwise they'll never learn and women will continue to be fed up with receiving gifts they have no wish for.

I hate experience vouchers.

I had spoken about this amazing savory afternoon tea in a local hotel and we couldn't get the timings right.
I live in an area where you can't throw a stone and not have an expensive or cheap afternoon tea locally.

So come Christmas a voucher for an afternoon tea experience 1-2 hours away. Not the one we'd discussed booking which is 20m away and it was such a " I like experiences so thought it would be good" thing. Then impulse panic buys small totally rubbish gifts that have no thought or use at all.
He's such a bad present giver!

The year before he got me a murder mystery experience voucher, wasn't bookable so no present. He said he never do it again. Then he did. I expressly said I hate those vouchers, they are unimaginative and you always get a bit of a rubbish deal. If you want a murder mystery book a murder mystery, if you want theatre, book theatre, if you want an afternoon tea, book an afternoon tea. Don't go for a fixed menu that's overpriced and an admin job for me to do to enjoy it (if it's even bookable!!!)

He just bought me chocolate for anniversary (he doesn't usually buy gifts for this stuff) so tried but I've got gestational diabetes and can't eat it!

I despair. I'm not a gifts love language person, but I love to find the perfect gift for someone and I think it's the puts time in one, it's about meaning not cost.

Anyway 3 years in even when I tell him transactionally to get me x, he panics and doesn't and gifts are just not his thing. I have to accept it.

I wish they were as I love a surprise. But alas.

Sorry hijacking post but I needed this vent more than I know.

Oh my son wanted to get me some sugar free treats and picked ice cream straws so he literally got me ice cream straws sugar free. He said son picked it, also I left it all too late. I said, no diabetic ice cream to go with them and he was like, "oh, that would have been a good idea wouldn't it?).
So now I have a box of edible straws oh and some lavender 🪻 seeds too as he also picked them. Just random. 😂🤣

What a stupid and thoughtless present. How can he not know after all of these years that you’re not into watches and that you can’t even wear them in work?!

After 10 years, he's bought you a present he'd like himself. Tisk tisk.

No it's not kind. She can't wear it to the specific place he said she should.

Just gently tell him that it was a lovely thought, but this particular watch is not really your taste. Suggest going together to choose another one in exchange. That way you will get something you like (though not for work) and he will still feel involved and that you appreciate his thought in giving it.😊

Nah this was just an excuse to indulge his hobby. This is the sort of thing compulsive collectors do - it's a kind of hoarding by proxy.

No need for an OTT gift if you don't normally celebrate anniversaries. And pretty shitty of him to go on about how he spent all his monthly money on it, as though you should be grateful and flattered, when it didn't even cross his mind whether you could actually use it.

It was a kind and generous gift, so don't say anything.
He's right - for a watch, it's not expensive so just wear it now and again. Assuming it does actually tell the time, it will be fine.

Please don't upset him by telling him you don't like it!

I can understand why you feel this way.

I also don’t like presents that feel like the person had wasted their money. And also that feel like the person giving the gift has never actually met you!

I would have to say something to him- some pps have suggested a nice way to say it - no point being unkind about it but I think you should say something. Such a waste of money otherwise!

I’d accept the gift and the spirit it was given in in good grace and with deep thanks that I was so loved, and pull it out to wear with pride on every holiday and special occasion. There’s something more important at stake here than your personal sense of style or utility….

I tried to vote YANBU but accidentally pressed YABU so please ignore!

I can't believe that people wouldn't say something over a £400 gift they wouldn't ever use.
400 QUID.
Oh to be that rich 😂

I wouldn't say I didn't like it, he put effort and thought into it. I'd instead say "oh God, just realised I won't be allowed to wear at work. What would you prefer, to return it, or to keep it but know it'll be in its box most of the time"? It doesn't sound like you really hate it, just it's not massively to your taste, so if you just wear it a couple of times a year on a date night or weekend away, and he feels that's not a waste and that isn't an issue for you then I'd go with it. There's not loads of things I own that my dh chose (my engagement ring, a few bits of jewellry) and the thought that's gone into those and knowing they represent his effort, time and taste, kind of matters more than the actual thing (to me). Yes you could return it and he could keep £300 and you could buy £100 of useful stuff in B and M, but in 25 yrs will you even have those bits anymore. Yes it might sit in a box, but one day you'll see it and it'll remind you of him.

You’ve been together 10yrs and he doesn’t know about your life in a hospital or what that looks like practically or maybe wondered why you never wear a watches? This is not a thoughtful or observant man.

I'd go with the "so I was elbow deep in a patient today and when I left the room I just couldn't find my watch. Three hours and an x ray later we realized that unfortunately it's wrapped itself around this guy's small intestine and the surgeon is refusing to give it back"

I'd say you are not allowed to wear it at work and so would prefer to return it if you can, and use cash for a romantic weekend break.

He didn’t get it because he thought you might love it. He got it because he liked it and liked the idea of it on you - like when men buy women scratchy red underwear (only classier). It’s really a present for him. If you wear jewelry tell him you appreciate the gesture but you wouldn’t get a chance to wear it so could you pick a necklace or earrings instead? Rather than have something that would sit on a box all the time, could you have something that would remind you of him every day 😉

Well she can't because she isn't allowed to and why would you enjoy something he chose totally wrong?

Can't you just wear it and enjoy the fact he chose it for you.

This!! Your ten year anniversary and he doesn't know you can't wear a watch? And watches are "his thing"..he hasn't actually thought about you at all. HE wanted to mark it in a way HE thought was good. I'm not a man hater before people pile on but this isn't a thoughtful gift gone wrong. As a contrast, my DP bought me an expensive leather bound notebook with really thick pages. I like notebooks, I sometimes write in them so I totally get why he got it. I won't use this one because the way it's bound makes it awkward. But it was thoughtful and about me. I would most definitely be returning the watch.

This and depending on your jewellery likes /work rules / jewellery you don't currently have I would either go for a lovely necklace I could wear every day or a lovely pair of earrings

Get your money back ,then say it was lost at work

Do be clear with him that you would rather return the watch and you are not allowed to wear it to work.

Saying nothing and "sparing his feelings" would backfire. He would see you not wearing it daily, it would hurt his feelings, and by the time the conversation is had it would be too late to return. You'd get the blame for failing to be honest with him. I think you should bite the bullet and say you'd like to swap it. Other jewellery that you would wear, even if only infrequently, would be a nice reflection of his intentions and quite easy in practice to swap, if you wear necklaces or earrings.