To leave DH and kids to do this

A few questions that I can't see you've answered OP.

You say you work part-time so are you the one who currently does most of the housework, childcare etc?

When your DH was working away, were you also working full-time, as he is now? Or were you part-time then as well?

I see there are grants etc, will that cover all the extra costs? I think you said partial or not completely - can the family finances afford you to stop working and cover the extra costs?

Presumably you'll have to do quite a bit of study/work outside of attending your course, so have you factored in that even when home you'll also be largely unavailable?

I think there's a false equivalence in pointing to the fact that the OP's DH worked away. If she was only working part-time, that's much easier to manage children and the home single-handedly. She also wasn't responsible for being the sole breadwinner so if something happened with the kids, she wouldn't be risking their financial security if she couldn't work. I also think OP won't have much time when she is physically at home because you have to put in the hours of study, not just attend university.

It's not about wanting to stop a woman from achieving personal fulfilment, but when you have DC, it's not all about personal wants. There has to be a balance, especially when the DC are still relatively young and/or reaching a critical age. There aren't many careers where you have to travel such a long way to study - how about an adjacent field where you can go to uni and still live at home?

Like PP, I speak from personal experience too. My dad went away when I was in my early teens and I found it extremely hard. I think if it's something you've been used to all your life it might have been easier but my dad was the person I talked to and his sudden absence was really difficult. I also told my dad that it was OK and I didn't mind...

My dh although he lived at home, worked very long hours/London visits when my children were small. It was basically like being a single married parent. He never made sports day, rarely parents evenings whilst in junior school, missed out on Christmas plays. It was hard for us all, we survived it but I think it affected my youngest, he just wanted daddy there. I personally couldn’t do it but everyone is different. Speak to your family, you never know they might be all for it. Good luck whatever you decide.

I had the same choices in 1970s. Go with your career choice as it will never come again. If not you will always be resentful. Your children will move on and you will be left behind.

I don't like that you've chosen to mention that your husband was desperate to have kids but you weren't bothered. They are here now, they are people.

No I wouldn't do what you have suggested. They are too young.

If you were a man ,you would not be asking this question. Men do this sort of thing frequently. Your kids will grow up and leave home and you will bitterly regret not doing it. You say you are unhappy and unfulfilled now. You will be back for GCSE exams.
Your children will realize that a mothers career can be equally important as their fathers. As you are prepared to do this,I assume your husband can cook and do household chores. I would hate to think everything waiting to be done at weekends.
Go for it!!

I would broach it with them and say remember when dad worked away, mum will be.

Do it. You will be fine. The family will be fine. It will all be fine.

Mine are that age and actually this is exactly the age I'm starting to get my life back. Away with work for up to 5 days every so often and they are all fine (bar the clothes washing...).

I'd say go for it. You've given up 'you' for his dream. Now it's his turn.

Do it, do it, do it!

I see many posters assume that you would be leaving the family for months at a time but that’s not the case. If your husband is willing to step up and be there for the children through the week then absolutely you should do it. Follow your dream and let your kids see that it is normal and good for a woman/person (but especially a woman) to do that and her husband (and family) to support it! Surely we have moved in from the days where the mother was the only competent parent and was expected to give up (or shrink) her ambitions outside of parenthood? My mother gave up a university career she loved when she had me - in the 1950s - and was a SAHM till I was 11 or so and then a school teacher. She was not a happy woman. I often wished she chosen otherwise (the university wanted her to come back part-time). But she felt it was her duty to be at home. We are not in the 1950s now.

Do it! No-one would bat an eyelid if a husband worked away Monday to Friday, besides it's not all year and it's not permanent.

If it’s for any kind of applied health professional I wouldn’tt, and sounds like it may be.

If you were a man, would you even think twice?
Do it.

I HRHT, but I'd say go for it if the kids are comfortable with it (and possibly if they aren't). As a PP said, you're talking about 28 weeks a year, possibly less with reading weeks (depending on course). What does the timetable look like? If you have Weds afternoons off (many course do) you could even go back for a cinema night and up early Thurs morning for first lecture most weeks. That takes it down to potentially three school nights away, when they're at the age they're unlikely to be spending quality time with you after school anyway. Congrats on taking the step to do what will fulfill you ❤️

i think she can expect to be divorced by the end! Just because her employer says they want her back doesn’t mean they will! A lot can happen in 2 years, restructure, take over or insolvency!

Your children aren't babies, they'll understand mummy is at 'school' and you can always go back for weekends, half terms etc. DH will manage - think of all the time through the past 50 years where the father might work away and come home periodically, no one ever slates them for it. You CAN do this. You'll miss those babies, but in it's going to be worth it long-term.

Relocate for a 2 year course?! So change the school(s) and all the children’s friends?! And move back when OP finishes her course and goes back to her employer??

Ridiculous!

I wfh and wouldn’t be moving for DH to do a course

Do her husband has to move for her? And because he’s not prepared to he’s being unreasonable! Yet she basically wants to dump her children on him, play at being a student and she’s not unreasonable! I can guarantee this will go one of 2 ways, she’ll drop out or her marriage will end, which is perhaps what she actually wants!

It's not something I'd choose to do, though I know many families have parents working away and the kids are fine. I've got younger kids and can't picture being away from them so long, but perhaps I would once they're older. DH made a decision to stop working away once dd1 was born so he's never had to spend a night away from them - it was a decision he made partly because he knew he'd miss the dcs, and partly so I wouldn't be parenting solo. So not all men do just make these decisions without a second thought. And I've made career decisions which have been a compromise because I wouldn't consider a career which involved being away from my dcs for long periods, but that still left plenty of options and study opportunities that gave me a chance for an enjoyable and lucrative career.

A lot can happen in 2 years! It’s all well and good then saying they’d give you a job! However, 1 their HR department will insist any post is advertised, so no guarantee you’d get it. 2, the company may have gone bust, been taken over by another company, restructured! So do t bank on them having a job for you unless they are funding you to do the course!

So basically doing everything? I hate how this is painted as a compromise.

Do it!
Your husband is VERY unreasonable!
He could relocate so that you can go to uni and return home each night… he’s being unreasonable saying no without even looking into it!…. Your kids are at an age where you could move with minimal disruption to their schooling. (before seniors and GCSE’s etc.)

Think of it this way…. If he left tomorrow - what pension would you have? What career options would you have?

It’s so unfair that women are always expected to give up careers, pensions, financial independence ….

The kids are at an age soon where they’ll be out with mates, or in their rooms all evening anyway, and you can come home weekends AND have school holidays off with them…

That's unfair, she's just saying how she felt. There's nothing overly dramatic about that at all.

I think you would be mad to pass up this opportunity, which may not come again. As someone has said, university terms can be short, although some MAs do run all year and you will need to check this. Mine stopped at Easter so the final term could be spent writing up the dissertation, in your case, at home. If your employer is serious about wanting you back I would jump at it. It will also be an opportunity for your DH to build his relationship with your DCs. A word of warning though, don't expect everything to be the same when you slot back into homelike. University education changes you and it may be that that is what your DH fears most.

@Youcannotbeseriou I worked away from home a lot all through my daughter's childhood. I would leave early Mon am and be back late on Thursday; WFH Friday: and it was never a problem.
Admittedly it's a bit different as I was the primary breadwinner at the time. It is feasible, but you do need your OH to be on board.

Also my current employer is wanting me to return as a qualified practitioner and I love the team and company.

Could you explore options to get the qualification on a part time basis while also working part-time?. Your employer might allow you (probably unpaid) study leave, and you might be able to do a lot of the studying remotely, only attending in person from time to time?