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AIBU?

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To leave DH and kids to do this

634 replies

Youcannotbeseriou · 10/10/2025 23:56

13 years ago I got married and I gave up my dream career to raise two DCs. DH was desperate for kids, I wasn’t hugely bothered. Fast fwd to now, everyone is happy apart from me.
However, I have been offered a place on a masters conversion course that would see me into a new career.
Trouble is all the universities that offer these courses are at least a 3 hour drive away. They are full time training courses 4/ 5 days a week. I already work part time in the field and love it and know I’ll love it as a qualified professional, but for 2 years it could mean living away from everyone mid week. I’m late 40s so time isn’t on my side to wait.

DH made clear he/ they are staying put. I don’t want to leave them, but I’m so unhappy at the moment as have no career and hate where we live. This would mean I can at least have a career I love again.

yabu- don’t be ridiculous, you have commitments and children. You can’t do this conversion course for 2 years away from them.
yanbu- they’ll be fine and adapt for 2 years. Go for it!

OP posts:
EBearhug · 11/10/2025 00:09

They are old enough to be explained to. You'll be back at the weekends and in the vacations.

AltitudeCheck · 11/10/2025 00:08

Plenty of men live close to work mid week, some travel/ work away for weeks or months at a time. No reason a mum shouldn't be able to do something similar.

It's a great example to show your kids that it's ok for women to be ambitious and have a life outside of home too. If you start soon you'll be done before GCSEs.

As another poster mentioned you'll have 2-3 nights a week at home and school holidays to spend quality time with your kids.

INX · 11/10/2025 00:04

Yeah but you're not really telling us about how you think your kids would react, how much parenting etc your DH does at the moment, whether or not it would be a huge upheaval for the kids or a fairly minor one?

Youcannotbeseriou · 11/10/2025 00:02

Youcannotbeseriou · 11/10/2025 00:01

10 & 12 DH wfs

DH- wfh, Works from home. Sorry typo!

OP posts:
Youcannotbeseriou · 11/10/2025 00:01

sittingonabeach · 10/10/2025 23:59

How old are DC? How does parenting/housework work at the moment?

10 & 12 DH wfs

OP posts:
Beyondbeliefsometimes · 11/10/2025 00:00

But you won't be away for 2 years. University year is 28 weeks, you can go home on a Friday and back on a Sunday. You will be home more weeks than away. It's your life too, you gotta do what makes you happy and show your kids to chase their dreams. I'm guessing kids are 13, so you will be finished up in time for GCSE year. If you don't try it you will always regret it and hold resentment

Youcannotbeseriou · 10/10/2025 23:59

INX · 10/10/2025 23:58

How old are the kids now?

10 and 12

OP posts:
sittingonabeach · 10/10/2025 23:59

How old are DC? How does parenting/housework work at the moment?

INX · 10/10/2025 23:58

How old are the kids now?

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