To leave DH and kids to do this

Go for it, it's only two years and you'll be back at home full time for the late teen rollercoaster years :) and supporting through exams , heartbreak, etc xx

My DH worked away from home for years. Go for it.

How on earth do us single parents manage the 'big ask' of working full time and being solely responsible for the kids and housework - not just 'for the week' but weekends as well?!

Although I think you should go for it, when you at at Uni you're not a teenager with no responsibilities. Your DH and kids should be a priority at weekends. This comment makes me wonder if you just want to leave your current life and responsibilities behind!!

Your mind must be easily blown. There are countless posts on here about men who leave their families for another woman and hardly ever see their children. Even the dads that don't completely abandon their former families often only see them at weekends. There are also loads of men who work away from home during the week.

It's massive double standards to guilt trip OP who, despite not being the one who was desparate to have children, still had to be the one who sacrificed her career to look after the children. Her DH has previously worked away from home and the kids were fine. They should be fine if OP does this. University vacations are long so she will still spend a lot of time with her children.

For a fixed period of time, fir a specific benefit (career and financial). Not a general expectation that this is a reasonable long term position

Yes but it’s not sometimes a good thing..
Think carefully about this maybe a couple more years would be better unless your husband is really happy to pick up everything during the week as well as work
Also you’d need to realise the amount of work involved in a masters to think you’d always have weekends free you might end up working weekends too on course work.

I would probably come back Friday evening and get up at the crack of dawn on Monday so you have 3 nights at home. If it is a 4 day a week course then you would get 4 nights at home.

I think it is doable but it will be knackering and your DH needs to be fully on board with it. It is a big ask to expect him to work full time and be solely responsible for the kids and housework during the week. Plus he will need to feel pretty secure about your relationship to not feel a bit worried that you might meet someone else.

Doubt it is ‘many, many’ fathers who work or study away to this extent. It’ll be a small minority, if we exclude deadbeat dads who don’t parent their DC once their relationship ends. I don’t think it’s good for fathers who have other options to do this either.

I'd say go for it! You'll regret it if you don't and maybe resent you DH and DCs if you don't. Two university years will go by in a flash and your qualification will alter your future and quality of life for the better. Kids are also ver adaptable.
Do it!

It’s not ‘negative’ to disagree that ‘the DC will be fine’ or ‘will be proud’.

Some posters have direct experience as DC or as a parent and it worked out well. Some of us found it negative. The risks primarily affect the DC.

Is your H an excellent parent who will prioritise parenting and domestic work?

Do you want to stay married to him? or is this part of a get out plan?

Wow! You'd up and leave your children 4 or 5 days a week? That blows my mind. My answer is no. Wait until they're older.

If this was a man asking…well let’s be honest, a man wouldn’t ask! Many MANY men work away from home. Which is essentially what you’d be doing.

Also, you’re NOT moving away from them for two years, you’ll be living away from your main home very part time.

Go for it! And good luck 🤞

Go for it . 2 years will absolutely fly by.

Hi OP,

My mum retrained (night school while working PT) for 2 years while me & my sibling were in the last 2 years of primary, my dad was very present & worked shift work.

I remember that time being a bit fraught (tempers fraying, both being quite tired) and there was definitely an adjustment in accepting that mum just wasn't so available anymore, but she was by no means absent.

She has (later) expressed guilt about taking that time out & going back to FT work, but I think & have told her, that it's the best thing she could have done, both for herself & for us. She showed us that women do have "proper" jobs, "mum" is not a full stop, retraining is possible even when tricky, and that change is possible at any time in life. And she went on to work FT for 17 years in a field that she enjoyed, and obviously the family felt the emotional & financial benefits of that.

I say "go for it!".

Father's all over the world work away from the home Monday to Friday, or even longer. When they do it they are usually (outside of the MN warped reality) perceived as supporting the family, sacrificing home pleasures for the sake of their family and generally hard working family guys.

When women suggest doing it, they are abandoning the family and have cries of "how could you bear to only see your children two days a week?!"

You are a person aswell as a mother. If your husband is willing to support you in your journey and become primary care giver for a few years, then why not do this?

This.
There has to be some serious consideration to the life you build while away, it would be unfair if this brought an end to the marriage and family life, it is obvious that you don't particularly like parenting. Be careful that their life isn't destroyed.

Your children whilst older still need you, especially girls at this difficult time in their lives. You will regret it.Unpopular comment I know. If they don't resent you now they will as adults. Childhood is so short you really want to leave for 2 years at a pivitol time in their development?

so your assumption is that her husband will work full time, be the sole carer for the children AND do all the housework on top of this?
because I’m pretty sure I’ve seen women told to LTB in this situation.

Absolutely do it! My mum went to university when I was five and needed to spend a year abroad as part of the course. My (previously not very hands on) father and I were absolutely fine and even now at the age of 80 she still works as a translator thanks to her eventual phd.

Teenage years can be similar to the toddler stage, they need extra guidance and support, this is the probably the best time to return to education, there are plenty of breaks throughout the year, if you have a husband that can step up and support you, it is a good opportunity.

Children go to boarding school and spend weeks at a time without their mothers.

In this case they'll have their father, their schools, each other, phone contact every day, their mother at weekends. And a splendid example that hard work to improve life prospects is a good and attainable thing.

Another good thing might be if you can get all your studying done in peace while you're away in the week and be able to take a break at weekends.

You'd probably be an ideal lodger or flatmate for someone too, only there 4 nights a week and not all year round.

You’re the one who has assumed the chores are all hers.

My only concern would be that I would start to get very into the freedom, independence and stimulation I got in the week, and would gradually start to spend more time in that world than home. The odd Friday social thing you don't want to miss. The weekends when it seems easier to stay put and work without distraction etc. I think it calls for a lot of self discipline and a strong commitment to keep showing up for family life. Especially when you see how well they cope in the week.