To leave DH and kids to do this

six hours driving a day???

This

Loads of men work away in the week. DH travels for work regularly and I'm home with the kids. By doing this he is earning good money for the benefit of his family. So no people would not be up in arms. I think OPs idea is perfectly reasonable if the logistics work out. Also as pp said the academic year is short so it would fly by.

Sorry but YABU. Not fair on your kids to not be there most of the time, especially at their ages.

This exactly. There's a lot of double standards around parents being around for their kids; people usually actually mean 'mothers'.
You sound really unhappy at the moment, and that doesn't make for a happy family life. You'd be away a few days each week for about half of the year, with weekends and long blocks of time at home. At the end of it you'll be happier and more fulfilled. Your kids will benefit from that.
Go for it!

Go for it. It’s a great time whilst the children are younger.

If you wait until they have left home or gone to Uni, you will regret it. Sounds like their Dad is more than capable of looking after them for 10 weeks at a time from Monday morning to Friday evening. Do your assignments etc during the week and you have a full weekend with them, without any distractions.

It’s a good age to do it, as they will definitely need you around more when they get to GCSE age.

You may be a Mother and Wife, but that is not all you are.

Plan for your future - pension and earnings. What if you DH were to pass away suddenly or even leave. You may have a part time role, but the possibilities that this qualification opens up for you (and your children) could be life changing.

Please ignore the guilt tripping posters, who are wringing their hands together at the thought of a woman doing something to enhance her career and not wanting to be at home all the time, cleaning, baking and waiting on her kids and husband.

The problem I see is that your husband won’t move.

You hate where you live and he still won’t move.

You are trying to find a solution but this isn’t it, because you will be away from your children which you don’t want.

Another solution will open up.

And that is a decision every family makes to take account of their specific circumstances. Many, many jobs involve one parent being away from home for varying periods of time.

I used to live next door to a family where the father was a diver on an.oil rig, 10 days on, 10 days off. Good money so the mother was a SAHM, when the father was home he prioritised his children, school run, after school activities etc. They had a supportive family network nearby. Lovely kids, very much loved and not disadvantaged.

Forces families have a parent (still usually the father) away for several.months at a time. The frequent moves are generally more of an issue than one parent working away, as long as the resident parent has a good support network.

I think far better for the OP to travel to study, and keep her DC in their familiar home and school, than uproot them for 2 years while she studies.

Yes people go away for work, but OP isn’t going away for work, it’s to study.

I’m not saying it’s wrong at all, I think it sounds great. Definitely worth pursuing esp before GCSEs. I’m envious!

The pushback might be different though. My OH often works away 3-4 nights, and it’s hard (I work full time). I swallow a lot of my irritation because that’s how we pay the bills, have holidays etc. The minute he walks through the door I am ready to hand over the reins though esp when the kids were younger, even though the travelling was also tiring for him.

What I want to say to OP is to just be prepared for accusations of being selfish. I don’t think you are. She said DH is on board so that’s good. Sounds like she also has experience of being that person left at home while DH goes away.

Move and do it.

Take care to over work while you are away so that you are free to spend quality undivided time with your DH and children when you get home.

Two years will fly. Some of that time will be un.i holidays too.

Please please do it. You have given up enough of your life. You won't be away for 2 years, just 5 days at a time.

But it was ok for her husband to work away from home???

Women are and can be so much more than just a wife and mother for goodness sake.

I dont think its realistic to expect the whole family to upsticks and move for a course thats only 2 years long. Especially with the costs of moving.

Im also very intrigued to know where you live that there isn't a single further ed or higher ed college or uni within 3 hours drive that would enable you to do this course? You've said you dont like where you live, is part of this an attempt to move the family to somewhere you'd rather be?
Cant you do something like open university, or otherwise commute during the week. I dont think its fair to expect the whole family to move for a 2 year course.

That sounds like a really limiting way to live. Turning down opportunities because of short-term discomfort doesn’t sound noble, it sounds small. Imagine how different life could’ve been if ambition wasn’t seen as a threat to family life.

But the OP has already said her DH has had a job working away from home.

I couldn’t do it but understand why you might want to. Are there OU options?

It applies to both parents equally.

Then ask those questions.

Can you rely on your DH to prioritise your DC for 2 years?

Rather than assume he won't, and tell the OP she has to compensate for his inadequacies as a parent.

My grandfather looked after my DM for a year in the late 1940s while my grandmother (primary school age) was away doing teacher training (she had done the same while he trained). It was nothing big deal. There wasn't Facetime, and phone calls were expensive so there were weeks at a time when my grandmother was away and out of contact.

My grandfather was a decent guy and committed husband and father. The year passed quickly, and my DM was close to both her parents.

I’d say exactly the same if a man wanted to be away for four days a week. My DH turned down a brilliant and lucrative career opportunity because there was too much travel involved and so he bloody well should.

Seems like a no-brainer to me. You should definitely do it. Just prioritise coming home in all available breaks/weekends and keep in touch with the kids. Brief (or not brief if they want) FaceTime calls are great.

There is never a “right” time to leave kids. They’re newborn, then toddler, then just about to start school, then just have started school, finishing primary school, transitioning to secondary, puberty, have to choose GCSEs, have to do GCSEs, A levels, then off to university and every single one of these will be absolutely too precious to miss and you will scar them for life.

So just do it. You can’t martyr yourself on the altar of childhood forever. Sometimes you need to do what’s also right for you. You aren’t abandoning them. You’ll be home weekends, breaks, maybe long weekends or midweek if the schedule allows. They have a father who’s there. They’ll be fine.

Just a thought, but have you looked at whether the Open Uni has a comparable course/pathway that you could do from home? They do, for example, have psychology conversion courses and PG degrees that are BPS (British Psychological Society) recognised. Not sure what area you are looking to practice/train in, but it might be worth checking? Also the governing body for the profession you are hoping to move into may have alternative pathways on their website even if they take a little longer to complete (although I am sure you will have searched this already).

Just a thought, as it does seem very ‘drastic’ to have to leave the family home to achieve your dream.

I'm not gonna talk about kids, money or logistics. Just that if you don't do this - or try to fo this - given how you feel, I think a whole lot more is at risk. Your whole family life, your mental health, your future. If you don't do this you'll breed resentment and likely end up leaving to do it later in more drastic situation. Everyone in the family gets to be happy. Not everyone except you.

@Youcannotbeseriou there is still going to be one parent at home for stability .
You can FaceTime every night and will still be there for advice . Will you arrive home a firsts night and leave again Sunday night or Monday morning. ?

I couldn’t bring myself to do it as I beat musket up with mum guilts all the time .
However looking in it doesn’t seem bad at all .
Fab opportunity for you .

But this is the reality for many woman, yes it would be great if it wasn’t and Dads did everything mums can do but somehow many ( many) do not and we are just inserting some reality into her situation.
Yes he should step up but the real issue is will he? Only the op knows and the children are still young ( well not on mumsnet where every 10 year old is completely self sufficient and doesn’t need any parenting)

And the day a man gets a woman pregnant is the day he stops being able to suit himself, presumably? Or does it only apply to women, and men can still pursue career opportunities even if they are not there 24/7 for their children?