Bedroom dilemma

Either move to a cheaper area and get a 5 bed, or don't move in together until at least one dc has their own place. This situation isn't really manageable.

Class?? FGS this isn’t a blended family it’s a mangled family. They do not have to live together.

Everyone has their own room except your daughter at uni and then she shares or uses the ‘as hoc’ 19 yo room. Doesn’t sound like everyone is there often enough to need their own room.

Not OP, by all accounts; but plenty of parents would indeed be selfish enough to do that and not care at all if the children were happy or not, as long as they got what they want.

Plenty of men will happily go further and actually abandon and never/barely see their kids again, when somebody else turns their head.

Won't it seem odd to have the two boys sharing in university term time, when there is a bedroom sitting empty?

It would not be reasonable for your DD to share with your DS so I’m afraid your DP’s boys are going to have to share. It doesn’t sound as though they will actually be there at the same time very much anyway.

It stands to reason that there's no way each child can have a separate bedroom unless you get a 5 bed house,
The logical solution is for partners sons to share .

I think you meer to try amd stretch your budget to a 5 bed or look for a 4 bed with some extension options

Just had a thought.

A bit of a wild card option.

Husband to be moves into your house with a bedroom for his youngest son. You keep his house and the older two have permanent bedrooms there.
It would give them a permanent base. They could go on to live there full time and rent it for a small amount of money when they’ve left uni etc.
It would give them a home and an option to be somewhat independent.

Disgusting. Grow up and get some class.

Would OP and her DP be considering buying a joint property to house them all if they didn’t ? Logically not.

The three DS have their own rooms but during the holidays your DP’s sons have to share a room so that DD has her own room. If DD decides to return home after university your DP’s DS will need to share a room so that DD can have her own - but that’s in four years time, DD might not want to return or your DP’s DS might have left home by then.

I shared a box room with my sister until I was 12....."never did us any harm" lol

Why on earth are you making two unrelated kids share a room to let DS 19 have his own room for one night a week and stand empty for the rest of the time. It makes more sense for DS 19 and DS 16 to share. They are related and DS 16 would have the room to himself for most of the time.

Ask the kids what they would do.

Then don't move in with your boyfriend, until she has properly moved out.

A lot of people have suggested variants on this.

It would work for the next year or two, certainly. But there's potentially an issue when the DD finishes university or if the DS19 wants to live with his dad. I think if neither she nor the DS are living independently - and in this economy, that's not unlikely - chances are that she gets a room to herself and DS currently 19 feels like he has to live with his mum even if he doesn't really want to because who wants to share a room in their 20s?

It feels like it would likely end up with the OP and her DP living with her children only and that might be fabulous for her but I am guessing her DP would rather live with his own children. Particularly if he is putting in more money to the house purchase, I can understand why he might feel like this was happening to his children's detriment

It's all very well saying sharing is fine - it is but these children have not been used to it and her stepchildren have the choice not to and just not come and stay with their dad. She rightly sees this as something that was done to her DD by her dad but somehow it's not a big deal for her DP to do the same to his kids.

I think finding some kind of way to divide rooms, different/cheaper location or waiting a while to see if one of the older children establishes themselves independently would be better

Why don't you split one of the rooms in two with a proper wall and additional door. They'll be small but they'll all have their own.

I know but honestly, I would make the child feel at home. It’s not for long.

The child is 19 and has a bedroom at his mum's, and comes one night a week.

@soniiaa I agree with this poster. Your DS and Your DD really do need their own rooms.Half the year or so, your DD will be home full time and it's crazy that your DP's Sons can't share. From what you said, they will only very occasionally need to share the room. If they got the biggest room, could it be partitioned?

Maybe ask the kids how they might suggest sorting things out between them?

Sorry, by the way that you are getting such a hard time on here from certain quarters.

I think this is a great idea. Hope you find something that works, and I think you are entirely justified in buying a house with your partner! Wishing you all the best @soniiaa

What a gross way to talk.
I doubt sex is only achievable by buying a house together either.

Maybe don’t move in together? Does your need for cock override the welfare of your kids?

Imagine being 18 finishing your first term at uni and having nowhere to go as your mother had moved in with her boyfriend and doesn't have a room for you.