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AIBU?

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Original poster

MIL comments..AIBU?

38 replies

MamaFifi05 · 10/10/2025 21:00

Hello...we've been on holiday for almost a week with my in-laws, and our two children (2 and 9 months). It's been fun, all inclusive, lots for the toddler to do although I've not had much sleep due to BF the smallest who still wakes a lot. Today my MIL announced this morning at breakfast that she was in a bad mood due to sleeping badly last night (they are in a different hotel room on another floor...albeit my FIL is a terrible snorer!) For some reason I was taking the brunt of her bad mood today...and she randomly came out with some very nasty comments about me having had two C-sections. Essentially that I just "laid on my back and let everyone else do all the hard work". It felt very pointed, and not in jest. My last C-section was complicated and left me with a long recovery both mentally and physically which she knows. AIBU for now not wanting to spend much time with her? She has a tendency to be a bit spiky sometimes but this is a step too far tbh. Side note, I've spent most of the holiday trying to book activities/restaurants for them and the children to enjoy (together and solo), and they've spent a lot of time sunbathing while I feel like I've done nothing but rush around after the children...so I don't feel like I've taken the P or annoyed her.

OP posts:
Original poster
MamaFifi05 · 10/10/2025 21:57

Thanks all, good to know I'm not being overly sensitive! I'm also curious to know where it came from..my only thought is that my husband has been very hands on with our toddler on this trip (as he should be?!) because I'm still nursing our baby all hours. She's quite old fashioned and clearly thinks I should be doing most of the childcare/domestic chores (especially for her precious son...) so when I mentioned about a relative going into labour earlier she took the opportunity to take a dig at how 'lazy' I am?! It's a tenuous link but we were sat on a bench eating ice cream while the baby napped...hubby was running around in the playground with our toddler so didn't hear. I doubt she is ignorant to C-sections as she saw my recovery, but yes may have some old fashioned views on it being the easy way out..who knows. Shocked me, and yes I've booked the spa tomorrow!

OP posts:
partytimed · 10/10/2025 21:34

A c section is not an easy option. I’m sorry she’s doing this to you.

AffableApple · 10/10/2025 21:31

Tell her to fuck off.

Tell her you'll take your grovelling apology from her upon your return.

Go out for the day.

Squishydishy · 10/10/2025 21:29

It’s because she doesn’t understand c sections. She hasn’t had one, read about one, seen videos, understands about all the layers that get cut etc. She’s simply ignorant.
Anyone with a basic knowledge knows it’s not a walk in the park (and neither is vaginal birth). It’s very 90s to describe it as too posh to push etc like it’s a day at the spa.
I would be tempted to pity her. Tbh you were probably too shocked to reply at the time but I would have wanted to say something like ‘what an awful thing to say Sue what makes you want to say unkind things like that?!’ Like you would talk to a toddler

CrispsPlease · 10/10/2025 21:24

Oh she's one of those ! Bitter jealous rival of your DHs affections. This type are awful humans. I wouldn't be rushing to go on holiday with them again. I'd be putting in a measured bit of distance when you get back home. Talk over her next time she starts saying something designed to provoke a reaction.

AbstractReflections · 10/10/2025 21:20

She said she was in a bad mood, sounds like she's someone who takes her bad moods out on others. Definitely give her a swerve!

FuzzyWolf · 10/10/2025 21:18

Some people have strong feelings towards the type of birth, medication in labour, breastfeeding, disposable nappies, car seats etc. It’s odd that they use so much head space on it but there you are.

I wouldn’t bother booking anything else for them for the rest of the holiday and just enjoy the time you have left with your DH and children. You now know not to go on holiday your MIL again.

Zoraflora · 10/10/2025 21:15

Was your partner there when she made the comments? What was his reaction.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 10/10/2025 21:15

Does the hotel have a spa? I'd be heading there (alone) first thing tomorrow morning

ThickGrass · 10/10/2025 21:14

When her guard went down under a little stress, she has revealed to you what she has been thinking for some time, a bit like when people have had a drink. I would let it go, there is no point to prove, whatever is eating at her, is hers to carry.

But I would not forget and simply match her energy - she gets from you what she puts in. You have clearly made it look like you had it easy, so make it easy - for yourself, let them crack on making good times happen.

Speaking from similar experience few years back, you will be amazed how much energy you conserve by dropping the ball beyond your nuclear family. Enjoy the rest of your self-centred, well deserved holiday!

Zoraflora · 10/10/2025 21:14

What a strange thing to say to you. I mean what has it got to do with her how you gave birth?

I would have challenged her there and then. Is she doing childcare on the holiday? Is she pissed off about that?

Keroppi · 10/10/2025 21:13

Wtf? What did DH say and how did you respond?
Time to stop doing shit for them. Tell DH you want an apology and you're off to sunbathe and make the most of your holiday!

Createausername1970 · 10/10/2025 21:06

Those are very odd comments.

I am curious to know what prompted them, other than her just being spikey.

I wouldn't be very happy if they were directed at me for no reason and I would be be telling DH in no uncertain terms that he is dealing with her for the remainder of the holiday - and maybe beyond - if no apology was forthcoming.