To think boyfriend has changed since I told him about my savings?

I’m in two minds about this. I’m going to assume he has little or no savings and you have like £20k.

In that situation I wouldn’t expect you to give me money or to pay my debt or anything. But I wouldn’t totally ignore the financial imbalance. The truth is, you covering 1 dinner out is going to be a drop in the water for you. If he’s the resentful type, he’s probably going to think he’s inadvertently in a worse position in life than you and that things aren’t really equal.

It’s one thing to split food and travel equally when both are in a similar position but it’s also a bit cold/clinical when you’re clearly in a much better financial position than he is. But again I’m not saying you have to spend money on him; it’s just that he probably thinks you see him as casual now as you’re tight towards him.

Plus you must see that it’s annoying for him that he’s on a higher salary - yet can’t buy a house or car, so clearly your inheritance gave you a boost in life. Even the fact you’re not in debt although you both have similar lifestyles (arguably you have the better lifestyle) suggests that you are much more comfortable than he is even though he has more money coming in. I’m not saying that’s a negative on you, but just that he’s obviously worked hard and that was kinda meaningless.

I don't understand why you are so passive in this @sunissmiling .

When he asks you for a lift just say no, you'll take him to the station.

And when he asked you to go halves, why didn't you ask "oh are we changing? Shall we go halves with everything from now on?"

No need to bring anything up. Just set your boundaries and stick to them.

I don’t think you are overthinking at all. I’d be very wary of this tbh.
Make sure you go halves on everything and share buying the drinks.

If he doesn’t want to do that then you know he’s taking the piss and seeing you for an easy cash machine.

How much is the train fare? I’m asking as it sounds as if you are 2 adults both earning reasonably well, I’m not sure why the cost of travel once a fortnight is such an issue.
But he does sound like a CF asking for you to drive him home, unless the train journey is particularly tortuous ( Sunday bus replacement service?) or he is disabled in some way.
He’s divorced, is he paying CMS ? I’m wondering why money and cash flow seems to be such an issue.

This. Also point out if you drive him home you still have to do the return journey to get you home so it doesn't work for you. The train is far more relaxing. It sounds as if he is a bit selfish tbh. You know you made a mistake in mentioning your savings and inheritance. I'd not be discussing finances with a new bf for well over a year to 18 months.

I’d just call him out on it and see what he says.

However, my ick is already activated so it’s game over for me.

He is telling you that his time is more important than your time by asking you to drive for that long cos he cant be arsed sitting on a train. Regardless of the money issue, he already feels superior. I'd be having a long hard look at the relationship

He doesn’t have a very sensible approach to money if he doesn’t know the difference between savings and a monthly budget from income.

In a separate homes separate finances relationship, both parties have to be committed to not taking the piss. There’s no need for a detailed ledger of who paid for what when, but a sensible and mostly consistent approach to turns.

Do not mention the savings again. Push back on the little changes you are noticing and he will show his true colours. If you mention the savings again he may hide his real feelings. You want to be sure to see him for what he is. It may be coincidence but be wary!

I’d just go with it but now your aware monitor it.
VERY CLOSELY

because your guard is up, you could be imagining it.

Don't let him take the piss. Your savings are not for him to plough.

How long have you been together?

Talk to him. Explain your savings are hard earned, yours and there for a rainy day. Not there to subsidise him while he pays off debt.

It may be you're not compatible in the long term.

I'd also be interested in the nature of his debts from his marriage. Is he likely to get into debt again, once this is paid off? Basically, are the two of you truly compatible, financially?

Your gut instinct is screaming out at you. This is not okay! When someone shows you their true colours, believe them. These are his!

Agree that you’re overthinking the savings, but also feel that it’s really cheeky to ask you to drive him home. Based on that request, I’d be concerned that he’s using you as a chauffeur service and is sounding quite spoiled. The savings thing is a different issue.

Just tell him no, it doesn’t work for me.

As for splitting bills, again just refer back to your usual dynamics. Don’t be embarrassed to bring it up or push back when he’s expecting things out of the norm

I think you might be on to something but too soon to say for sure…

I would say No to giving a lift tomorrow - too much time for you in the car and expense. See how he reacts to that.

If the savings have caused an issue this will be apparent pretty quickly.

If you’re going out this weekend, ask if you can split the bill and get him to pay for the drinks. I’d do exactly what he did last time and see how he reacts.

Wait, why would you travel for 3 hours when he just has to travel back for an hour and a half ! That’s terrible

I'd say that driving him home isn't going to work for you. That's a big ask when he can just take the train and be there 15 minutes later. I probably wouldn't raise the topic unless he continues to expect you to pay more than your share, but it doesn't sound good that he'd put you to the trouble of a long drive back. Not very considerate of him!

I think you’re over thinking it. It is like 2 things and your guard it already up. Just make sure it rebalances.

And don't make up an excuse not to do it. Thar implies that if you weren't busy or whatever that you'd do it and that it is a reasonable request. You need to ask him why he thinks it's fair for you to give up a load of time, petrol, wear and tear, and spoil your Sunday evening, so he can get home half an hour earlier

I don't know if there is a money thing going on...but asking someone if they'll do a 2.5 hour round trip on a sunday night, so that they can save 15 minutes on the train (and whatever time it takes him to get to or from the station) is really cheeky and entitled, assuming no backstory like he has a broken leg or something. Getting the train for 1.5 hours is so much more relaxing than driving for 2.5!

Fair enough, asking you to spend 2.5h in the car so he can spare a 1.5h train ride is ridiculous...

Still think you're overthinking the saving things though, see what happens over the next few weeks and make your boundaries clear.