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AIBU?

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Could I of been the bigger person

34 replies

Overitmum · 10/10/2025 15:41

Sil constantly brings up partners ex’s and I don’t know if I’m only noticing it more now or she’s doing it more because we are due baby in a few weeks and the attention isn’t on her but it’s really getting to me now. Last night she again brought up one of his ex’s and said she chats away to her all the time and she really liked them together and I just couldn’t stop myself and blurted out yeah I really get one well with that girl your boyfriend was cheating on you with she’s a lovely girl. Sil just sat in silence then the rest of the time I was there. His other sister has in the past told her to shut up about it and when she heard what I said she couldn’t hold back her laughter and said she deserved what I said. Partner just said she’s been winding me up to get a reaction and she finally got it not my fault it was that reaction. If I’m honest I could have said a lot worse than I did. Should I of been the bigger person and ignored her or did she get what was coming.
For background info sil always needs to be centre of attention and will do anything to make sure if she’s not happy no one else is happy. Her relationship is so toxic her partner openly cheats all the time and has told her many times he only stays with her because of the children and the fact she threatens to harm herself when he dose leave.

OP posts:
verycloakanddaggers · 10/10/2025 16:42

renovationqueen · 10/10/2025 16:08

Yes, you could have been the bigger person

And you could of not been an bad-mannered pedant.

oopsHereItIs · 10/10/2025 16:40

Of course you could have been the bigger person, but should you in this instance? Give her a taste of her own medicine - every. single. time she does it till she stops doing it :)

mbosnz · 10/10/2025 16:36

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, for obvious reasons - guess she got reminded of that!

renovationqueen · 10/10/2025 16:08

Yes, you could have been the bigger person

MamaSideBored · 10/10/2025 16:05

You all sound lovely

Mushrump · 10/10/2025 16:00

Honestly, there’s no merit in holding it in until you explode, because then you often overreact and end up feeling bad. Better to tackle things as they come up. I mean, if your SIL was continually ringing up how much you liked your partner’s ex in front of him, wouldn’t he be responding ‘Yes, it’s nice you liked Audrey, sis, but unless you’re very forgetful, you’ll remember that she was shagging my best friend at the same time as me, so you’ll excuse me being less enthusiastic’?

Teado · 10/10/2025 15:59

I think you needed to stand up for yourself in order to put a stop to the sniping.

I think that your OH should now be having a word with his sister so that a line is drawn under it all. He should have discussed her behaviour with her before and made it clear that it wasn’t acceptable, really.

youalright · 10/10/2025 15:54

Well done 👏

PruthePrune · 10/10/2025 15:52

Good for you. People get away with this sort of shit far too often because people want to be polite and not cause a scene. I think she will be careful of what she says to you in future.