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My boyfriend broke up with me is it normal to still feel happy and positive about life ?

59 replies

Pinkflowers2 · 10/10/2025 12:37

I love him and was happy. He said he left because he wasn’t ready, he thought his life was more sorted than it was. So he ended the relationship as he feels like he’s unsure if we have a future.

I said to him I’m happy and don’t hate him, I’ve got a good job, great people around me, my own place and even though I love him and want to be with him I realised I’m ok with not being with him. And that I appreciate him coming in to my life ect and I understand if he doesn’t feel ready to be serious

He keeps saying I’m glad your happy sometimes randomly and I feel like he doesn’t mean it. He also made back hand comments about me reflecting about being grateful about my life and mentioned I didn’t need him in the relationship even though he tried to be in that position.

we didn’t make it to a year and I tried to explain positions are earned I can’t drop or alter my support network for him when I couldn’t guarantee he was here to stay and he’s kind of proved my point by leaving. I stated imagine if I relied on you like you wanted me to, you leaving would have left me really vulnerable.

I don’t feel as sad as I thought I would and I’m starting to feel like maybe he wasn’t actually there and wanted to support me like I thought but for selfish reasons instead.

im starting to get confused. He doesn’t want a relationship but he still wants to talk and support me through this. He keeps saying how sad and hard this is for him. He’s acting weird about the fact in happy. And he made a funny comment about “we know you’ve done better than most” when I’ve never said that. I was just saying I’m the break up has made me grateful about my life.

OP posts:
PersephonePomegranate · 10/10/2025 12:51

You sound perfectly healthy. He, on the other hand, sounds mightily put out that you're not falling apart and begging him to come back.

I'd wish him well, but say that continued communication isn't really doing anyone any favours and just cut ties there and then.

Pinkflowers2 · 10/10/2025 12:49

Silvertulips · 10/10/2025 12:42

What are you looking for?

Confirmation? I also do not need or rely on a man - I am independent and proud of it. Married 25 years and still have separate assets.

He’s here because I like him being here. There’s a difference between need and want.

Do you want an explanation of his behaviour?

It sounds neanderthal - He wanted to save you, protect you - and you haven’t succumbed to his ideal relationship and his ego wont let him.

Move on - don’t let him hover round looking for reassurance - if he dumped you he wanted you to beg.

@Silvertulips I think I’m mainly trying to understand what is going on. I’m confused about the he doesn’t want to be with me but wants to support me through the break up. The break up with quite a shock I did not see this happening. I don’t really know what he wants me to do or take this whole situation.

Im just super confused basically

OP posts:
InBedBy10 · 10/10/2025 12:49

He wants to support you through the break up he initiated??? Tell him to jog on.

He tried to get you to dump your support network? That's a big red flag. Even if you were with him for 20yrs, you still need to have friends and a life of your own.

I think he dumped you in the hopes you would fall apart and beg him to come back. Maybe even agree to stop seeing your friends.

The fact you're so fine with the break up says it all OP. I think deep down you know he's not the one for you.

Tell him you are no longer together so he needs to stop contacting you.

Do not take this man back.

Fiftyandme · 10/10/2025 12:48

O wish I’d had your confidence and level head. Go you? It’s not the response he wanted and now he’s trying to manipulate and play games

pikkumyy77 · 10/10/2025 12:46

He was using the break up to manipulate you into missing him and begging him to come back. He was deceitful and dishonest—the break up was a ploy to make you anxious and dependent on him. Now he’s angry you are fine with it and making fake gestures of support while actually passively aggressively complaining about your success snd happiness.

Just tell him calmly that you think he needs time to reflect on himself and his life choices so can he please just get in the bin already.

Cara707 · 10/10/2025 12:45

It sounds like you're reacting perfectly to me. Also the fact that he wants you to rely on him so much rings alarm bells anyway.

Silvertulips · 10/10/2025 12:43

He rolled the dice and lost.

Silvertulips · 10/10/2025 12:42

What are you looking for?

Confirmation? I also do not need or rely on a man - I am independent and proud of it. Married 25 years and still have separate assets.

He’s here because I like him being here. There’s a difference between need and want.

Do you want an explanation of his behaviour?

It sounds neanderthal - He wanted to save you, protect you - and you haven’t succumbed to his ideal relationship and his ego wont let him.

Move on - don’t let him hover round looking for reassurance - if he dumped you he wanted you to beg.

OhDear111 · 10/10/2025 12:41

He’s just immature I’m afraid. Lots of men are. He wants to be needed and now finds he’s not really needed at all. Go your own way and find someone who is grown up.

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