My boyfriend broke up with me is it normal to still feel happy and positive about life ?

He clearly wants you to be devastated without him ...

he still wants to talk and support me through this @Pinkflowers2
Do you mean through him.breaking up with you?
Absolutely not, he doesn't get to do that!
He doesn't seem to understand what breaking up with someone entails.

You need to strengthen your boundaries and draw a line under him.

He sounds like an emotional vampire. He wants you to be needy because it feds his ego, makes him feel important, whilst actually offering nothing of value, not being reliable or committed.

Some people look like they're givers when they are actually taking - he's trying to control you and objectifies you as a "project" to fix and feel good about.

🤣
They break up with you and then want to stay friends, it's totally laughable 🤣

This is it completely.
It is a test. Probably didn't want to break up with you at all, hence the supporting you through it, in order to worm his way back in.
He must be totally shocked that you're not wailing and begging him to change his mind.
This is what he wants, break up, you cry oh no, he gets back with you, he's done your favour and it proves to him that you need him, you're grateful.
Rinse and repeat.
Nah.

What is going on is that he was and still is trying to mess with your head.
He wanted you to get upset and beg him not to leave you, and for you to move him to the top of your priorities. He was trying to manipulate you, and still is
Don't waste any more headspace over this man. End contact and get on with enjoying your life

I mean maybe he's a complete prick or maybe he's doubting that you ever actually loved him because you don't seem at all bothered that it's over even if you are saying the words (sort of). I mean I'm not suggesting you should be spending your days crying your eyes out but telling someone you're perfectly happy that they ended the relationship doesn't sound like you were very invested.

No chance

He expected to leave and for you to be crying boosting his ego. Thats all. Carry on as you are. You are doing well.

Please block and delete this prick!

So sick of these dickwads who want to remain friends.

He doesn’t want to support you, he wants to leach your energy from you!

I think he wants you to fall apart to massage his ego. He wants you to be vulnerable and need him so he can feel big. But the thing is you don’t need him and you’re more than ok. Better for both of you to have distance.

He's sounds like an idiot. You're happy with your life and independent. He's uncomfortable with that.

I think a clean break is needed. He sounds manipulative and controlling and you are well out of it. Block him for a time - nip it in the bud

He sounds needy and manipulative. Now you've split up he's trying to play with your head and wants the validation of knowing you're upset and want him back. Because you're behaving like a grown up he's confused and wants to exert control. This is a very common tactic among insecure men and he's trying to ensnare you and hook you back in. Don't have it.

It sounds like you've come to the conclusion subconsciously on your own that you're not all the bothered. Congratulate yourself on losing a waste of space.

Don't entertain this endless postmortem with him on the relationship though. Move on and don't waste any more time on him.

Tell him to stop hanging around like a bad smell. He’s just trying to hoover you back in. Block, move on!

Of course he does. You’re supposed to feel sorry for him and beg for him to return to you alongside promises to spend more time meeting his needs.
Do not fall for this

I think I’m mainly trying to understand what is going on.

Surely you have better things to do.

Oh my god - it wasn’t a real break-up. It was fake (it was a fake-up!). It was a temper tantrum designed to bring you in line. You were supposed to reassure him that you would move him to the top of your priorities list and he was supposed to be able to hold this over you going forward. Keep being happy. It will really annoy the stupid man-child.

SO much odd about this I don’t know where to start.

Do you have children Op?

I mean you put your finger on it, OP:

I stated imagine if I relied on you like you wanted me to, you leaving would have left me really vulnerable.

That's exactly what he wanted. And what he will go and find someone else for, now that you're wise to him!

He is not worthy of you.

You sound emotionally intelligent and secure in yourself. He sounds anxious/avoidant and a head fuck.

He doesn’t want to support you through the breakup! His ego has been damaged because you haven’t fallen apart in a weeping mess and begged for him to come back. And if you were to do that, I guarantee he would either walk away because he had got what he wanted or he would agree to get back together, but insist on things changing for his benefit and to your detriment and keep trying to make you feel insecure.

His attitude is a huge red flag. Just walk away now, enjoy your lovely life, and be pleased that you have found out how pathetic he really is.

1. cut him off, no one needs to stay friends with an ex. It’s pointless 2) you are right, we should always strive to be independent and happy in our own company. 3) Again you are right, you shouldn’t need someone, its ok that you wanted to be with him but you are good on your own.

He sounds like a dick I think you dodged a bullet.

The cynic in me thinks that he didn't actually wnat to break up. What he wanted was to disrupt your independence and competence by making you insecure, then he would have "taken you back" and you'd have been less independent going forward. You have implied that when you were together you wouldn't give up certain things for him? I bet he hated that.

If I'm being less cynical, he's just got a ridiculous ego and can't udnerstand why you aren't sobbing into a pillow and wants to look like the good guy.

My advice is to move on. Tell him "thanks but no thanks" and get on with your life.

You're confused because he's playing head games with you to break you down. He wants you confused and insecure but you're not fully playing the game like he thought you would.

He breaks up with you. You're supposed to be devastated. Then he stays in contact to "support" you, he comes over, you get back together, then you're back on the merry-go-round that he will jump off of again when you have an accomplishment or something good happens so he can take you down a peg and erode your self confidence and independence. He would rain on your parade every chance he gets.