Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that as you age you become more introverted and selfish ?

109 replies

Theclockkeepstickingtowards2026 · 10/10/2025 10:28

Just as the thread title says really . Since the menopause I have started to put my self first in every way . I can’t believe that I tolerated and cared about certain people and situations. I can’t believe how much time I have wasted on certain people and worrying about stuff that I really shouldn’t have done . Does anyone else feel the same ?

OP posts:
middleagedandinarage · 10/10/2025 10:35

I think so. I noticed years ago my own mother and MIL becoming quite selfish and self centred now I feel myself becoming a bit the same

CrustyBread1977 · 10/10/2025 10:34

Absolutely, and it’s glorious!

Scrope · 10/10/2025 10:34

Not in the least, no. I think this is just a thing on Mn where 'menopause' is seen a belated wake up call for chronic people-pleasers copping on to themselves, once they realise that people pleasing doesn't in fact 'work' (if the intention is to buy friendships with services). There's nothing 'selfish' about prioritising your own wishes and centring on yourself, and I didn't need to wait for middle age to do it. Neither have I become more introverted. I am an introvert in that I need a lot of time alone, but as long as I have that (and I always ensure I do), I don't socialise any less than previously.

SirBasil · 10/10/2025 10:34

popupjungle · 10/10/2025 10:32

Is this why my pils, especially mil, is such a selfish person then?!

When you get to a certain age you realise that you do all the giving. They may prefer to concentrate on themselves rather than their ageist dil who doesn't like them.

Or maybe they don't like you. They don't have to.

TempestTost · 10/10/2025 10:34

I don't know, I'm way more extroverted now. I don't care less about other people but I worry less about what people I don't respect think of me.

LizaRadleywasonthespectrum · 10/10/2025 10:33

Yep. It’s called wisdom!

popupjungle · 10/10/2025 10:32

Is this why my pils, especially mil, is such a selfish person then?!

ThisBadTimeIsTakingForever · 10/10/2025 10:30

Yep.
I just can’t put up with peoples shit any longer and don’t want to go out of my way, forcing myself to do things I don’t want to do, just to please other people.

SunshineOnARainyLeith · 10/10/2025 10:28

Yes, 100%!