Friend wants me to pay

Let me get this right -

1. You offered to take her stuff free of charge and hold it until she was settled, meaning she saved hundreds on a storage unit.
2. Now that she is ready for it she is demanding you pay for it to be shipped over?

What the actual…. She’s mad! That’s absolutely unbelievable! Under absolutely no circumstance do you pay for that, she’s clearly no friend, text her and tell her you want it out of your house in the next few weeks or it’s going to the dump, and she needs to organise it all. I don’t know why you were the one getting the quotes?? Madness.

She’s taking the piss and chancing it Op. She knows you didn’t offer to pay and she’s purposefully accusing you of things to scare you into paying.

Tell her to pay the sum for the postage or you’ll donate it all to charity. And tell her to stop taking the piss out of you. Stop apologising and panicking - she is the one being rude and presumptive and she knows it.

Consider the friendship over.

You were doing her a favour! Storage costs money. Tell her to fuck off.

OMG! I’m afraid this is a friendship you are going to have to write off.
Message her one more time advising her that no you definitely did not agree to pay and she has until x date to send you ALL the money for postage or her stuff will be going to a charity shop (or binned, depending on whether shop will accept).
She might say she’s going to the Police to report her disposed of items, but they won’t take any notice because the onus will be on her to prove you offered to pay, which she doesn’t have. And you are under no obligation to provide free storage for her stuff.

Is it at all possible this IS actually a misunderstanding rather than a deliberate attempt to be malicious? You two had a conversation about sending on her excess stuff, payment wasn’t specifically mentioned, you (rightly) assumed she’d pay and she took you saying you’d send it on as you saying you’d pay? Even in this unlikely better case scenario she was incredibly naive. More likely she’s chancing her arm and thinking now she is abroad she can take the hit on the friendship and try to guilt you into paying. Don’t do it. Don’t even accept half.

Is this really for real?

@wineosaurusrex Be very cautious about your friend transferring money to your account for you to arrange shipping, let her organise everything* *so that her name, address & (bank/credit card) account are associated with transport of her belongings, and not your details

Yes this ^. It sounds as though the stuff has been in your house for months OP? Either she sends the money or arranges someone else to collect the stuff or it’s going. She sounds a bit unstable if this has made her flip and she thinks you want to keep it all. She was cheeky enough to leave it with you but assuming you’d pay to send it overseas is just beyond!

This is astonishing, unhinged behaviour from your “friend.”

Others have given good advice so I’ve nothing to add other than you are 100% not in any way in the wrong.

This.

Send a message and make sure you keep a copy. Say you need the amount to cover the full cost to send her things to her. You won't charge for the time and effort it takes to sort it out since you are nice. Say if she doesn't forward payment you will presume she no longer wants her items and will hod until (set as date) and then donate to the local charity shop.

Don't let her con you into paying to post her things internationally.

Then when sorted block her.

Handing to the local police by x date is a good idea op.

I'd say I'd done her a favour letting her store them for so long, you categorically never offered to pay (why on earth would you pay towards someone else's voluntary house move) and she either arranges for them to be posted within the month and stops the abuse immediately or you'll hand them into the local police as lost property

I wouldn't get into any lengthy conversations and chunky paragraphs of text in messages to take up valuable energy and headspace - something simple along the lines of "It costs £200 to get these to you so please pay by x date or your possessions will be going to the charity shop". If she still won't cough up, get rid of her stuff on that date or very soon after, block her and move on. Whichever way you turn, this 'friendship' is over.

Second this. You can still do the right thing (even though she doesnt deserve it). Give her time to pay and options to send. This friendship should be over right now though. Once it’s done I’d block her. What a horrible person.

Yanbu at all.

Tell her that she’s been using your house as a free storage facility for too long now and you need the space back. Make it clear you cannot afford to pay and will not pay.

Give her a deadline and say if she has not sent you the money by x date then you will have no choice but to donate the items to charity. Point out you’re still actually doing her a huge favour by a) storing stuff for her and b) putting in considerable time and effort to send it over to her.

Why would you pay? 🤷‍♀️

Before you do anything else, take a video of what is in the cases so when she does eventually pay to get them, like a normal person, she cant accuse you of stealing her stuff.

I know you still aren't 100% protected as she could say "she took stuff after the video" but it is better than nothing.

Tell her to piss off.

Ok!

Yes, that’s why i’m writing it on a thread. I haven’t got a gun to her head, forcing her in any way.

She might want to make the decision on theft herself.

YANBU. Why on earth would you pay?! You’ve already done her a favour by letting her store stuff. She’s really pushing her luck.

I don’t think she’ll go to prison for it🙄

Just to warn you that's at least conversion, and probably theft op.

I would keep the things you want from the suitcase, bin the rest, block and move on. She is no friend to you.

No, that's wrong.

It's her responsibility. You've done enough to store it and offer to deliver it to whatever shipment option SHE organises.

Also the customs aspects may well require quite a bit of detailing of what is in it, declaring values etc. I would get her to organise it as you don't want to be involved in that or she'll lump the charges on you for not describing them properly.

I think dumping it at charity is a bit tough, but I'd give her the option of collecting it when she is next over or organising it herself.