Friend wants me to pay

Of al the CF stories i've heard that's the CFiest - send he the link to this thread, ask her what she has to say for herself then block

Vinted.

She is scamming you and is not your friend. Does she have any family left in your country who could take the items from you?

Whatever you decide do NOT pay to send her things. Give her a date to fix it by and after that you should block her.

I wouldn’t store massive suitcases for however long it takes her to return again when she’s been such a bitch. (I may do if I had space had she not been an utter CF). Nor would I ever want to see her again when she does return!

A clear message that she has a deadline to arrange her courier and after that it will be disposed of is fine. She really doesn’t deserve any more than that after how she has behaved. But keep the message as proof that you’ve given her this warning and given her ample time (from whenever she left until 2-3 weeks time) to sort her stuff out.

This can’t be real. Do people like this exist?! Seriously though you’re being kind enough storing her stuff and she’s taking you for an absolute mug.

I wouldn’t even send it to another friend. And I would want her stuff out asap. Or else she will end up claiming that you lost some of her stuff when you moved it or giving the other friend hassle.

What you do is contact Citizens advice or go on their website or similar. There’s an official letter you can send to people to warn them before you dump their stuff.

Send her that and say please pick your stuff up within X amount of months or it will be disposed of. Don’t engage in any further communication.

The friendship is dead clearly, she has no respect for you and must think you’re an easy touch.

She sounds like a loon, and as you say, a bully. And if the cases are full of thousands of pounds worth of designer gear, she may indeed want to go to court over it.

Or she might just threaten it to further upset/stress out OP, or bully her into replacing the items if they've been disposed of. A solicitors letter doesn't cost much, and they can look terrifying if you're not clued up. At least if OP knows that they've acted within the law, it's one less thing to worry about.

Also, I just thought people might be interested in the process, given how many people on this thread are saying "chuck it!" :)

This is great, and it’s all in writing as well.

The friendship is over and she is one cheeky betch

I would reply to her in writing with a daily fee for storage of items, with a reasonable deadline of when the items must be collected otherwise they will be desposed of.

Once the deadline has been reached, if you still have her stuff, take it to the tip and block her on everything.

Hi Friend,

To be clear, I have never wanted to and never would want to keep your things. That is a bizarre thing to suggest. I agreed for them to be kept her as a favour to you. Being kind and offering you this favour is something I deeply regret. I am shocked at how you are twisting this and behaving to be honest.

If I had the £200, I would just send your stuff in order to make you and the situation go away, despite it being such an utterly insane thing of you to even suggest. However, I have no means to pay for this shipment, I don't have the money. Once you have managed to arrange for a transfer, let me know and I will arrange for the shipping accordingly. Please note that will be the last communication we have. I am not willing to hold on to your stuff indefinitely though so if you have not made arrangements by x date, I will take them to the recycling centre. Any further abuse from you, will be reported as harassment.

Is she younger than you? Maybe she's seeing you as her sort of parent figure in another country (since you have kids). Perhaps when she asked if you would send it on she assumed it meant free of charge and naturally you didn't even consider that. I'd say, if this is true, then it's a breakdown of communication and sadly it's up to her to learn her lesson (that not everyone does stuff for her free of charge) and foot the bill. If she continues to be nasty, you could always tell her she could've paid £10-15 storage per week so you've actually saved her money. Perhaps ask her why she thinks the bill is your responsibility? (do not accept "because you told me that you would pay", actually ask why she would expect you to in the first place and point out that sending and paying are 2 different things and she would do well to clarify this in future when she has unrealistic expectations of people's generosity). She's forgetting you are trying to make the effort to send it in the first place. You don't have to, like others have said, she could organise it all, after agreeing a day for the pick up. Also point out that you don't have the money and tell her to ask her family (why would she expect you to pay and not them?) if she is desperate to have the stuff back. I'd pass it off to the friend if possible and then try to forget about it.

Yes it is total madness. I thought all of this too.

The cheek defies belief. It's as if she has malfunctioned, because I can't see how logic could get you anywhere close to what she's expecting of you.

Tell here she has two options:

1. send the money and you'll post
2. send a pre-paid carrier to collect

Give her a deadline such as 'if it is not paid/collected within 28 days the property will be deemed abandoned and scrapped'.

I would say:

”When you send me the money I can arrange shipping”.

And would only respond with that phrase everytime she asked. Although I would have probably dropped this friend.

This is kind of Judge Judy style stuff.
Send an email and a text stating a deadline for either the money to be paid to you or for the items to be collected and explain that if they arent collected by said date they will disposed of at the nearest charity shop.

On what planet would you pay for her to get her stuff ? She wants it sending she pays for it end of story ! She's a cheeky fuck expecting someone else to pay for HER belongings to be posted

Cut off contact with this friend. Dump her. She sounds a nightmare. If she doesn't give you the full money take her stuff to a charity shop.

Friend this is the price. I have till x time to send money. If no payment has been received by x time then everything will be donated. Simple.
it’s unlikely this friendship is going to continue anyway so put it plain and simple.

Exactly this. She can arrange courier collection, fuck the hassle of getting them posted after how she's behaved. I'd tell her in one message that thats what's happening and that you won't be engaging any further other than actual logistics re collection of the clothes.

Judge Judy would say: There was no written contract, therefore her assertions are baseless. You could be charging her storage, but you have not (you are being reasonable trying to help a friend out.) She can either: 1. Send you all of the money when she is ready (but put a time limit on it of say 8 weeks) or 2. it can either be dropped at 'another friend' of hers to deal with, or 3. you will donate it to goodwill. Tell her if she doesn't reply by xx date, you will take it to option 3. Sorry she is being such a Bxxxch.. She is not your friend.

OP has she ever displayed this type of behaviour when not getting her way, or about money, before? Because I had (past tense) a friend who would often use strategies like this to guilt trip compliance out of people. I doubt very much she believes you said you would pay to send her things over and has made that up. The whole “stealing her stuff” is also likely a tactic to portray you as the bad guy.

I think you're being too kind, OP. Send both a clear, factual email and text saying you only ever agreed to store her personal items for her temporarily. You did so free of charge, due to your friendship. At no point did you agree to ship the said items to her free of charge and you don't know where she got that idea. You are no longer able to provide free storage and, as such, you request she arrange removal of her items, at her own cost, within one month. If the items aren't removed by that date, you will have no choice but to throw them out.

Coming up to bonfire night... I know what I would do.

On what planet would it be your responsibility to foot the cost for HER clothes to be shipped to HER?!
You have been kind enough to store them. I would say she needs to foot the bill else within a month they will be donated or I would charge storage costs. Friendship over

This! 👆🏼

You give a deadline and if she hasn’t sent you the money by then you take it to a charity shop. What a horrible friend she is. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this OP. She sounds just like awful.

Just send her one short message - that job will send the stuff after she sends you the full cost. Then repeat the same message over each time she contacts you. If this goes on much longer block her.