Maternity pay

And don't even get me started on all the women on Mumsnet talking about how their pregnancy was a "surprise" when it turns out they weren't using any contraception at all.

Like, literally, how is that a surprise to anyone who understands how babies are made?

I'm pretty sure that the tax you've paid funds benefits and services in addition to ML. If you want to take extended time off work you should fund it yourself, not expect taxpayers to fund your choice.

I only got SMP when I had my DC, so 90% salary for 6 weeks, then about £500 a month thereafter. At the time I earned more than 10 times that as was the main breadwinner, however as we bought our house just before the first DC, had no savings left.

Ended up stopping maternity leave at 6 months, took annual leave to stretch it out another month to 7 months off in total, then staggered return to work from 3 to 4 to 5 days. Luckily had no nursery fees until DC was 1 as family looked after DC until they started nursery at that age, but by then I was on maternity leave with DC2, and started the whole cycle again!

Also a copper coil is none hormonal!

I got enhanced maternity pay (full pay)or the first 6 months. I was quite well paid so spread that to top up the statutory pay and take as long off as possible

I saved while/before I was pregnant to cover the shortfall, used that plus holiday pay plus a few KIT days to stay off til DC were 13 months both times.

I think you’d also be shocked to know that some people do actually use that as a form of natural family planning, despite you obviously being sarcastic. If true though, and it is for some, it is actually still “planning for a child” because vaginal sex is only used when they have decided to try and become pregnant.

I know you can’t understand it, but the majority of people plan and make an informed decision to try for a baby. As your daughter is doing; she is currently on contraception but if she ever gets to a point with a poster where they discuss children and decide to have them, then she will come off contraception to do so. Try not to be too shocked.

Can you take some annual leave which must have built up while you have been on maternity leave?

Fair enough. Some people don’t have anything better to do on a Saturday morning.

One of the common misconceptions. The government doesn’t give a year.

The government enforces two weeks. It gives you almost full pay for 6 weeks to enable as many as possible to take that long.

It then gives you the option of taking longer. To help with that it pays about half minimum wage, and requires your employer to protect your particular role up to 26 weeks of leave.

It then gives you the option of another 26 weeks, with half of that continued a the same payment rate and the other half unpaid. And requires your employer to give you an equivalent and suitable role when you return, so makes you have a role to return to a legal requirement.

It doesn’t ‘give you a year’. It gives the option.

On the practical front. If you’re wanting to return and boob monster is limiting things, might help to ditch the idea of bottles. And focus on food, and cups, and straws.

I had twins, so with the cost of 2 nursery places plus travel I had about ebough money to buy my lunch! We were just a bit skint.

I wenmnt back to work but was quite lucky as a teacher that I only needed to do 2 weeks before the summer hols so then got an extra month. Didn't time things quite so well with the second baby but managed to afford 10 months off and was part time by then so not quite so hard.

They were available in the late 80s though! You don't need them now, but they have been around for donkeys years.

@JasperTheDoll have you ever used so-called natural family planning methods? Withdrawal? Avoiding sex whilst ovulating? If so, that was planning [to not become pregnant]. If not, you’ve been very lucky to only have three pregnancies in 30 years.

And per pp, latex free condoms exist!

Anal was always our preferred method of non medical contraception.

Not much need for them now as I'm menopausal

You said quite clear that you know lots of others who didn’t use contraception despite not planning to have a baby. Another poster has also confirmed what you said, and you can go back and read it for yourself.

Latex free condoms exist. Please don’t peddle dangerous information like some people cannot medically use any form of contraception as it simply isn’t true.

On a thread discussing the affordability of children and maternity leave, it is incredibly dangerous to leave a poster spouting your nonsense unchallenged. There is always a suitable contraceptive, it is entirely normal to plan children and to even discuss it with your partner, it is entirely normal to use contraception and only come off it when ready for a baby (despite your shock that people actually plan babies).

Completely not the point of the thread, but can your partner not use non latex condoms? They've been around for years!

I do not see no contraception as normal. I have not said that, I have said multiple times we are unable to use it due to medical reasons I have said nothing about others chosing not to. I have known from being a young teen that I was unable to use artificial hormonal contraception and unfortunately my choice of partner has a latex allergy so we had no other options. People can still discuss with their husband if they want to have children without it being a 'shall we start trying now' conversation, so yes maybe by planning on having children at some point you could say its planned but not in the way being discussed on this thread. Its not actively planning.

I'm not quite sure how my medical situation means I am thinking in a certain way that you find sad though? Or are you expressing sympathy at my health issues? I can assure you though, I am in no way trapped by my three beautiful children.

Enjoy your day!

But a pregnancy isn't unexpected if you aren't taking measures to prevent pregnancy. It's basically inevitable, and you and your DH have made a conscious decision to have a baby by choosing nott o do anything to prevent it. Yes you may have sex whenever you want and not track your cycle or anything, but any resulting pregnancy isn't unexpected

Find any post saying they are shocked that unexpected pregnancies happen? Not one person has said that.

You were shocked that people plan pregnancies; not about the extent, you were shocked by the entire idea of it and the idea of even talking to your husband at all about trying for a baby.

People plan for their babies, unexpected pregnancy also happen. But you’re the only person on this thread who was shocked by the idea of one of those being an option because… do people actually plan pregnancies? Shock horror.