Im a SAHM with a young child. ’ve got a few friends who don’t have kids and they love a phone chat. Not about anything major, just general stuff — the date they went on last night, why their manager “just doesn’t get it”, or how their hairdresser messed up their fringe again.
The thing is, I just can’t do long phone chats anymore. I’m fine with a quick five-minute catch-up, but it’s never five minutes. I’ll answer thinking it’ll be short (or because they’ve been calling every day for the last week and I haven’t picked up), and next thing I’m 15 mins in, saying “yeah… anyway…” while my toddler’s trying to run off, or bored at home tugging at me to go for a walk, or yelling because lunch isn’t appearing fast enough.
I’ll drop hints like, “just out with DS” or “just making his lunch,” hoping they’ll take the cue, and instead it’s, “Ooh, what are you making? I’ve just had fish. Don’t seem to digest meat very well these days. Do you?” Meanwhile I’m scraping pasta off the floor and silently regretting picking up.
And even when I start giving the usual “yeah, I guess so… anyway…” replies, they somehow keep going with “but what do you really think?”, “would you text him back though?”, “how would you have handled it?”
It’s not that I don’t care, if something real is going on, of course I’ll make time. But these endless, rambling calls when I’m in the middle of toddler chaos… not my thing anymore. My days are pretty full-on, and if I do get a bit of quiet time, I’d rather actually eat something warm, do life admin, or catch up properly with someone in person.
AIBU to just say outright that I don’t do long phone calls these days, or do I keep pretending to be “busy with DS” until they finally get the message?