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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be good at anything?

39 replies

NoGood4Ever · 09/10/2025 19:29

Nc for this thread

I feel like I’m just useless at everything.
I can’t drive, I’m learning to drive (automatic) so should be so easy. I can drive but I feel like common knowledge and common sense is just non existent. For example when I’m driving and I need to pull in for example if it’s somebodies right of way, 80% of the time unless I’ve been told I have to do it, I won’t. It’s just not logging in my brain, I’ve been learning to drive since August so apparently I should be doing it now natural I should just know. I reversed onto my drive earlier and scuffed all of my partners car cos I still do not know how to reverse properly cos it just isn’t lodging into my fucking brain.
My partner is teaching me he’s a driving instructor.

not just that, I feel like I’m absolutely useless at everything.
Literally. Everything I do is either wrong or not good enough.
I just feel so fucking useless and down

OP posts:
Original poster
NoGood4Ever · 09/10/2025 19:42

ItsAMoooPoint · 09/10/2025 19:38

You sound exactly like me. You're definitely not alone! In my case it's because of ADHD and poor executive function.

Please be kind to yourself - learning to drive is incredibly stressful when you're older as you have so many more anxieties to deal with than if you were 18.

I’ve thought I’ve had adhd for years and years now, or something along the lines. How would I get tested for it cos if it is then maybe I can do something to control it cos it’s ruining stuff. This isn’t the first thing either.
I get told to do something or asked should I say, oh phone the drs or order tbis etc . 5 minutes later I’ve either forgotten or have a niggly thought that I have to do something I just don’t know what 😩

OP posts:
GargoylesofBeelzebub · 09/10/2025 19:41

You’ve hardly started learning to drive!! Give yourself a bit of leeway here. Your DO is a dick.

devildeepbluesea · 09/10/2025 19:40

You’ve been driving a matter of weeks. Your H sounds like a total prick. Does he have a redeeming feature at all?

Original poster
NoGood4Ever · 09/10/2025 19:39

I can’t reply to everyone individually I get overwhelmed but no matter how much I watch him do stuff and when he says ‘watch me this is how you do it’ I watch and watch and watch and then when it comes to me , I just don’t get it it’s like I’ve been on another planet. I know the basics but the rules of the road , lanes etc confuse me soooooo much and cos I keep having to ask what lane what’s the speed limit etc , all that should come natural but it really doesn’t 😩 not yet anyway

OP posts:
ItsAMoooPoint · 09/10/2025 19:38

You sound exactly like me. You're definitely not alone! In my case it's because of ADHD and poor executive function.

Please be kind to yourself - learning to drive is incredibly stressful when you're older as you have so many more anxieties to deal with than if you were 18.

Original poster
NoGood4Ever · 09/10/2025 19:36

VeneziaJ · 09/10/2025 19:32

Are you ND by any chance? Its not unusual to feel that way if you are struggling with a world set up by and for NT people

I have queried this before. I just take things in slow and my reactions are slow and aren’t very quick which is also causing a problem

OP posts:
mumofoneAloneandwell · 09/10/2025 19:35

Girl if it helps, ive been driving for years and it took forever to parallel park today

Like I was almost crying 😅

Just do what you can do. No-one is perfect xx

ComfortFoodCafe · 09/10/2025 19:35

NoGood4Ever · 09/10/2025 19:34

Yes, he’s telling me now I should be doing things that should come natural to me now and he can’t teach dumb. I’m a slow learner and I can’t help it

Show quote history

Dont do anymore lessons with him. What a prick.

Itstheshowgirl · 09/10/2025 19:34

OP it took me years to learn to drive, pass the test and get confident with it all. I was awful, people learn at different rates. Get another instructor.

Original poster
NoGood4Ever · 09/10/2025 19:34

Treeleaf11 · 09/10/2025 19:33

Of course you are not useless. Driving since August isn't a long time it's still very early days. Is your DH telling you that it should be natural to you now? He doesn't sound like a very supportive driving instructor.

Yes, he’s telling me now I should be doing things that should come natural to me now and he can’t teach dumb. I’m a slow learner and I can’t help it

OP posts:
ComfortFoodCafe · 09/10/2025 19:33

Agree with the other poster, the driving instructor isnt for you. You need a instructor you feel comfortable with, know hes your partner but thats probably putting you on edge.
I went through two instuctors till I found one I was happy with and low & behold within a few months of driving with the third I had passed my test!

Treeleaf11 · 09/10/2025 19:33

Of course you are not useless. Driving since August isn't a long time it's still very early days. Is your DH telling you that it should be natural to you now? He doesn't sound like a very supportive driving instructor.

VeneziaJ · 09/10/2025 19:32

Are you ND by any chance? Its not unusual to feel that way if you are struggling with a world set up by and for NT people

OneRealOchreHiker · 09/10/2025 19:31

I’d start by changing the driving instructor…