DH missing parents evening to play football tonight

Also, most parents I know keep up to date with teachers regularly. And if there are any issues you call the school or they call you.

We were both at parents evening tonight. Took less than 5 minutes because no concerns. It really would not have bothered me if he didn't go. Couple of times he's not been able to because away with work. And once I couldn't go because I had something else on.

If there WERE concerns, that might make me feel differently. But probably not. A lot of parents go by themselves and it's easy enough to pass on the info.

@StormyPotatoes but you don’t need to attend Parents Evening to know what’s going on or to show an interest - that’s the whole point I’m trying to make.

There are so many other ways of doing that, and if parents are engaged in other ways, then it won’t matter if they never attend Parents Evening. But if they don’t bother engaging in any other way then yes, they should probably spend ten minutes a year engaging with their kids school.

It’s not one of the other.

They are exclusively in the care of teachers for 30 hours a week so showing an interest in what they might be doing there really isn’t a massive ask. Hell I’d think most parents would want to know how their children are getting on in those time frames.

I’m not really looking to fight with you though and as a perspective from a child I acknowledge you were fine with your parents not being bothered. From a parents perspective, irrespective of how dull it can be, I can’t even imagine not wanting to do it anyway to a) see if I gleam something that I don’t know about my child and b) show him I’m interested and care. I would never tell him I can’t be bothered.

So a teacher has to suffer yet another parent interview to appease your domestic problem! Grow up. It's quite common to have just one parent at the meeting, the other is usually still working or with other children.

And I think there are better, more productive ways to show you care than attending parents evening once a year.

Again, I’m sorry your parents were a bit shit (your words) but mine weren’t, and aren’t. They’re fantastic and didn’t need to waste their time on parents evening to try and prove it.

They showed it to me every single day in more important ways. And still do today. The fact that they didn’t attend Parents’ Evening means absolutely nothing, really.

I don't think both parents need to attend though it's helpful if the non attender looks after the other children at home.

Personally though I wouldn't be that bothered if I'd planned to go anyway. I liked doing that sort of thing.

At the school where I work, we get quite a few couples, lots of dads on their own and mums on their own. All depends on the family circumstances.

Online parents evening were awful because if there was anything to discuss, you couldn’t do it.

Fine if your dc is doing well. We were done is less than 10 mins. Easy.
When there was an issue? The fact you couldn’t extend it by even 1 minute was crap. Even more so for secondary school where there was no way you could just see the teacher at the end of the school day for clarification etc…..

In primary school, it was mostly just me who went as I did most of the school runs and had a rapport with the teacher, more familiar with the school system - I also work in education.

In secondary, actually, we both try to attend, because it's a real rush seeing so many teachers and we don't always have time to make decent notes. It's only one parents' evening a year and DD has ASD and struggles, we get little contact with school so try to attend any school meetings together whenever possible. Plus the kids can stay home alone now.

I think it depends on the precedent. If you both agreed you were going together, it does feel like he's chosen his friends.

If your child is doing well in school and there are no concerns on either side I don’t see why this would be a problem.

I think I would have been a bit annoyed not to have been consulted first. If asked if I minded, however, I would have said ‘yes - go play football, I’ll update you later’.

The problem with the ‘taking it in turns’ idea is that he has already said the OP ‘is better at remembering anyway’

Chances are hed be going and then come out with ‘yes. Teacher said dc is fine’ with no question asked, no details etc….

And yes parents evenings are tedious.
But they’ve also been essential with my dcs. I’ve learnt one of them was really struggling (like being a year behind) at one of them. I could talk about issues such as who they were sat next to (teacher hadn’t realised - brand new teacher who then acted around it once aware) etc….

It’s not just about hearing ‘yes dc is doing well/struggling with xyz.’ And then moving on because there’s nothing new

Yanbu. I sincerely doubt this is the first or last time he’s put his own wants first.

i go to all my kids parents evening because i want to hear from the teachers and it’s also important to my children that I attend. I go with my ex.

Suggesting projection from a poster who doesn’t actually have children but has spent most of their evening arguing about the irrelevance of parent’s evening is rather funny.

It is 10 mins [30 mins if you want to include your parents travelling back and forth) once a year to find out how your child is doing in the 30 hours each week they are away from you. I think that’s a small little gesture parents can do for their children, even if they think it’s pointless.

(Sports day is truly pointless in that respect, and you need to spend the best part of an afternoon to watch multiple other year groups of children you don’t know - yet we still do it to show to our children we care and are interested).

My DD is now 30. Her dad never missed a parents evening and neither did I.
We both WANTED to go because DDs education was important to us.
We divorced when DD was 4 and always went to them together throughout her education.

We've also always attended parents evening together to show DC we both equally value their education and support the school.

I'd be pissed off to and be asking DH why he felt is was acceptable to let DC down.

Think it all depends on age of child and whether there is likely to be anything of importance said. We have both always gone but to be honest I wish we had tag teamed it, as invariably it ran late and we were told our child was doing well and nice to have in the class. If my child was in year 1 and doing well and husbands football team needed a player would be happy for them to go. If child choosing GCSEs and struggling I would be cross if other parent skived off to football. I miss the online parents evenings as they had no chance of running late.

I really wouldn't care at all. If he was the only one able to go and then did this it would be another story but you're going anyway, I don't see why you need him to be there too.

Fwiw I'd say the same if you'd been invited on a night out and DH was the only one at parents evening.

I'd be fine with my husband doing the football instead if he asked. Being told like this would be really irritating.

that's only Primary, and knowing how many families have several children and one parent need to stay with the siblings, I don't believe it's such a rare experience.

In Reception and Year1, there are often 2 parents to be seen. It doesn't last long

Lol.

Says it all really.

Because parenting should be a shared activity and you seem to think it's a joke.

This. Why does he get to have a night out with his friends, when OP gets an evening discussing their joint children’s’ education?

Not only did both parents attend DS’s parents’ evening so did DS. So I think it is good to show DS that both parents are interested in what he has to say as well

Unless he’s PLAYING for Wales or England, his child’s parent evening should be his priority. Unless he doesn’t care about his son’s education and/or thinks it’s “wife work”.

It’s not a coincidence that parents who model the importance of education to their children tend to have children who also value education and put the most effort in. Funny that. 🙄

I’ve had 2 children go through secondary and don’t recognise this at all.
If they’re doing 9 subjects you’re talking about GCSE, so it would be really cringe for a parent to start wanging on about their expertise, not to mention your kid being embarrassed. Also it would be odd to discuss bullying with different subject teachers at parents evening. You wouldn’t wait for parents evening for starters but if you did you’d speak to the form tutor, SLT or pastoral who are usually floating about.

How about next time you do something and he goes to parent night? How would he respond?