To not understand why DH books a hotel in same town when colleagues visit

It sounds like your DH is a bit of a pig - I’d say that was your issue, not the fact that he stays in a hotel sometimes after work 🤷‍♀️

10 minute drive is very close, I don’t think my husband would. But if he did, the only thing I’d begrudge is the lack of childcare help because I trust him 🙈

Exactly.
Not speaking for myself, but AWAY from the family.
It's not a sin.

This. My husband worked for a company that did the same. He always stayed in the hotel they were all in. We lived 6 miles away. Perfectly normal.....unless you think he's shagging one of the 6 or 7 women.

Just to add…if he wanted to have sex with her he didn’t need his own hotel room, he could sleep with her in hers and come back home. You either think he’s capable of this or not.

Agreed! I’ve done this with work events in my nearest city too and a lot of no sign and chatting is done over coffee and breakfast

I would stay in the hotel if I were offered.

I would not stay with a man who showed such disrespect to women. Gross.

Yeah, so it's time to stop pretending this is just a guy staying out at a hotel for a bit of a nice night off.

Either read what the OP said ALL of it and comment on it all, or stop trying to gaslight her. It's a shit thing to do to a woman who has genuine and fair concerns.

I mean, I didn’t actually need a round of applause for it. Many of us are capable of staying in hotels with colleagues without shagging them.

I don’t necessarily think it would be a red flag to me but really it’s dependent on lots of factors and your gut feeling.

My DH regularly stays at hotels across the country with his team (similar set up to your DH). I can imagine him in the same scenario utilising the free hotel room so he didn’t need to get a taxi or leave early.

There are a few women on his team but he’s never sexualised any of them. He’s really open about being married and I can hear him talking about me to his colleagues in team meetings and he’s introduced me to his colleagues over Teams when I’ve been in the room. He’s open with his devices and doesn’t talk about any one female colleague regularly.

Because of this behaviour I would have no reason to assume that his motive for staying was to sleep with a colleague when all his team were around. If he was capable of such premeditated plans to cheat in that way he would be someone I didn’t know. Of course some people are like that — completely sociopathic but you can’t live your life assuming it to be true.

I would be annoyed about the sexualised comment about the newly single colleague in your case. But if he’s open about being married and not secretive with his devices then you’ll have to trust him unless that comment alone is a deal breaker. If he wants to cheat he’ll find a way so telling him not to stay at the hotel won’t save your marriage.

👏

I wonder why some are pretending that it doesn't matter that the OP's husband (who is happy to wake his family on the piss every Friday night, but all of a sudden is pretending he cares not to wake them when he staggers through the door after work party nights) pointed out that he finds a newly single woman that he will be partying with fuckable.

His comment "Said she’s recently single and that he doesn’t know why any man would leave someone with milk tankers like she has got."

Before I read this, I could see the appeal in just staying in a free hotel, absolutely, and wouldn't have been overly concerned.

But the lying about why he is staying (he is NOT staying there to make it easier on his family, not at all) and then the fact that he clearly has thought about fucking his colleague with the big breasts and is enough of an entitled pig to dare say this to his wife puts a whole new slant on things.

OP is quite right to be worried, and it's a shame she didn't include this information in the first post.

And I will bet there's a lot more of this sort of shit she could tell us. But I doubt she's coming back tbh.

For all the reasons already explained on this thread.
I’ve done this many times and have never once shagged a colleague.

I expect he doesn’t want to miss out on the mass orgy fun.

What type of job do you do?

This wouldn't be at all unusual ime but I can see that if you haven't worked in that type of corporate environment you might not realisr there's nothing strange about it

3 times a year?

Like everyone else, I can see the appeal
for him.

The possible red flag for me is that this a change in behaviour - they’ve been having these meetings for how long? And he’s stayed over only the last two? So my question would be what has changed?

Well, admiring is doing a bit of heavy lifting there - grossly sleazy and inappropriate is what the OPs husband was about the newly single woman he fancies.

Let him go to the hotel and tell him to stay there.

‘Milk tankers’? How can you be with a man that talks about women like that? So base and disrespectful. He is vile.

I love staying in hotels! I always would

DH used to do this - he enjoyed a good drink & socialising with colleagues & couldn’t be bothered with the taxi home…much easier just to hop upstairs to your room! He’s trying to drink less now though so usually comes home so he doesn’t get tempted at the hotel bar. I never had any suspicions regarding infidelity.

I think the bigger concern is your husbands casual misogyny. It’s vile to talk like this about women.

Because most of us get a break from our own kids when we go on work events. We don't want other people's there! The company is paying for their staff to stay for a work event, so they won't pay for family rooms either.

Don't bring y'all domestic drama to work events either and ruin it for the rest of us. Partners are no longer allowed at work dos after one of the execs' wives decided to use our Christmas do as her own personal Wagatha escapade. Except she wasn't as subtle as Colleen, she was pished and she insulted a good many women there, including me, who was most definitely not ever touching her seedy rat of a husband with a 10 foot pole, but I was one of the first under suspicion as I was at the time the only female departmental director. She was escorted out after one of the PAs, who had also had a decent amount of free champagne, told her to get tae fuck and wife threw a drink in her face.

Horrid, sleazy, bored married men whose complimentary lines extend to "milk tankers" are no prize for those of us with any sort of class.

Hotels that someone else pays for are the best

He’ll be shagging one of them.