To not understand why DH books a hotel in same town when colleagues visit

Wouldn’t it be added to his wages not necessarily provided as a separate payment?

🤔. I don’t envy you it’s difficult to get to the bottom of if he’s one of these that will get affronted for you daring to ask further Qs about this. Most people usually put their expense request in immediately as who wants to be out of pocket in excess £100 or so? If you’re not seeing any reimbursement then he’s probably telling porkies. Hopefully it’s just a white lie because for some reason he thinks you would be angry if you knew he was covering these expenses a few times every year out his own pocket instead of just coming home albeit very late.

He will. After the 2 days.

No need to cart the kids around, when they have all their stuff in their own environment at home.

He can wake up, join the team for breakfast and be part of it all.

Well theres the issue then
If my DH did this (hotel stay) I wouldn't think twice, I would enjoy having the TV and bed to myself but if there are trust issues then it might be different

Sounds like he doesn't see women as people.

@Christmascountdown25 the only bit I find weird is DH saying it’s a free hotel for him also. In my experience any company I’ve worked for they expect you to be a minimum of 90mins away before they’ll consider paying for a free hotel room and he’s only 10mins away. It wouldn’t worry me that he’d want to stay at same place as his work colleagues but it would worry me if he was lying about it.

If it's as obvious to his female colleagues what a pig he is I doubt he's getting a chance to shag any of them.

It seems he would given the chance though so that's an issue-that & the fact that he's talks in such revolting terms about women.

Me too!

He just doesn't want to miss out on the fun. :) Plus a free night in a hotel, bed to yourself, and a hot shower to stand in as long as you want? Sounds lovely! One of my favourite things about a hotel stay is the guilt-free long shower!

Yuck. Milk tank.
I voted yabu before I read the update.
I'd hate to be married to him.

My ex did exactly the same, turned out he was hoping to sleep with the bosses PA who was already supposed to be having an affair with his boss and had a reputation for sleeping around.

He sounds vile OP with the things he says so i wouldn't put anything past him, he clearly has no respect for women.

Rubbish. It's absolutely normal as lots of team building goes on in the evening at such events. All staying together, having breakfast together etc is part and parcel of these events.
I'd actually find it unusual for someone to bail out and go home for the night.

Milk tankers? Dear God.

My DP does this once a year. We live in London but his team do this massive trade show thing on the other side of London - probably 40 min in a cab. He stays over so he can go out on the lash and sleep it off.
I prefer this as I hate a stinking, drunk man coming home then snoring his head off while I get the kids ready for bed.

It's totally innocent unless you have suspicions - which you clearly do.

That's simply not true. My company always paid for hotels when we had a team event, even if everyone there lived in the same town - particularly if there was more going on the following day.

OP, there may be a problem, but the hotel isn't it. It's really common practice for the company to allow - even encourage - people to stay over at team events.

Oh.

I just read about milk tankers.

Is your husband a 13-year old virgin spawned in from 1976?

With that context, I'd suspect that he enjoys pretending he's a single man, and probably isn't doing anything dodgy with anyone - let's face it, with banter like that he'll dry up every single woman in a 5-mile radius of him. We're all wrinkling our noses, right? He can turn off women remotely...

He sounds like a bit of a dick. But he's your dick, so...

If everyone else in the company gets a nice jolly in a hotel but he always misses out because he's too local, then I can understand why he goes.

Talking about women the way he does is a whole other issue though!

I mean, that is disgusting. But I don't think it means he's shagging anyone. I wouldn't turn down a free night in a hotel and I'm single with no kids!

I had come on to say it's quite sensible of him not to drive home if he's been drinking, but now I can't get past this.

This 😂I mean, we all knew where it was going but easier just to say it outright. Reminds me of the ones on FB who post cryptic messages and wait for people to ask them if they're ok.

The update changes things a bit. If I had a husband who “gets drunk” and also made comments about an attractive single colleague’s breasts, yes, my spidey senses would be tingling about how he might behave on an overnighter which included a trip to the bar.

I voted YANBU, not because I think he's doing anything dodgy - I agree with PPs, I'd do the same if I could - but because he isn't telling you the truth. His reason is super lame.

Bigger question is why he feels he can't tell you that he wants to stay out, socialise with his colleagues into the early hours and enjoy the same stumbling to bed/bleary eyed breakfast experience they do, that's part of the whole narrative of such things?

Would you kick off if he said he just wanted a solo night ("Fine, enjoy a night of NO RESPONSIBILITIES and leave me HERE WITH THE KIDS DOING BEDTIME AND SCHOOL RUN ON MY OWN!")? Do you get to enjoy the same time away from the home?

I’d do the same if the company was paying for it. I wouldn’t if I had to pay. I think them all staying together makes for more opportunity for team building rather than him being the only one coming and going, not having breakfast, dinner with colleagues.

I stay away when my team are in town.

we usually have a late night and it gives me a few extra minutes in the morning plus a decent breakfast.

never shagged a colleague.