To not understand why DH books a hotel in same town when colleagues visit

Who is he having sex with?

Is he usually a low class misogynist?

Sorry posted then realised I should have read your other posts. Does sound more dodgy now I’ve read your updates but generally staying in the hotel at an event like that isn’t suspicious in itself.

Absolutely the norm in that situation. Alternative is he leaves early to come home so he doesn’t disturb you, missing out on the networking and the fun, also misses spending time with colleagues at breakfast. Or he stays out late, comes home and disturbs you, gets up early to join them for breakfast and disturbs you again. Poor guy can’t win.

Same, my husband worked away quite a lot which is why I used to book myself a hotel room nearby every couple of months and take my book, a bottle of wine and some snacks and have a full night’s sleep!

I hear what you’re saying, three nights to relax probably seems quite often to somebody that probably struggles to pee alone! I remember those days quite well!

That’s a separate issue, but if he wanted to shag somebody only one of them would need a hotel room. He could easily go back to her room, then get a taxi home and you’d be none the wiser. In fact if he was up to something, that’s probably what he’d do. So I wouldn’t read anything into the room.

I used to do this too, when mine were little. Bliss!

We have a 2yo, and a couple of times this year I've booked a hotel down the road. Cheap suburban Travelodge for £38/night and I get to have a blissful quiet evening read, a long bath without ducks in it, a good night of sleep, and no hint of being included in the morning routine.

Actually, that's a great idea. There is no reason at all - not one single reason - why he wouldn't want his wife to come and join in a bit of a party and have a night in a hotel if he's not doing anything behind her back that he wouldn't do in front of her face.

What?

I love my partner but I wouldn't want him there on a works social with people I only see a couple of times of year. I see him every day. I don't want to spend an evening making sure he doesn't feel left out with people who are strangers to him.

I'd stay in the hotel too.

Not sure if anyone else has suggested this but when I rack up expenses they are paid when my salary is paid as an extra line (not taxes etc obv) goes for everything from parking fees and petrol to evening meals. So amount goes into a system with receipts and they’re paid in the following pay run.

I’ve never been on a team night out where partners are invited! Apart from anything else, the night is usually put on expenses and you can’t usually expense dinner/drinks for none team members!

But that's assuming partners are invited to the party - they probably aren't.

The OP said it happens 3 times a year. I don’t think that counts as ‘regularly checking out of family life’. I agree that the OP should be getting the same level of time ‘off’ as her DH.

What's so hard to understand that a person might just want a break from home for a night?

if it was me, it wouldn’t necessarily be an affair I’d be concerned about, it would just be the regular opting out of family life while I don’t get the option to do so as well.

As a one-off. On a regular basis, perhaps not. Here you go:

“Every time I want to take up my employer’s offer of a hotel after we have a work event in my home city I take up my employer’s offer of a hotel room. I could go home, but this is a chance to have a free night in a hotel on my own with a lovely big bed and bathroom all to myself. I won’t have to stress about taxis, I won’t have to worry about my DH judging me if I drink too much or stay out late, and I’ll have a rare chance I get to have breakfast made for me and a lie in without my kids waking me up with the usual morning chaos. However, DH is being huffy about this and is accusing me of having an affair.”

Also, it is very often women who take the brunt of childcare, so it’s not exactly the same in a reverse scenario. We all know this.

Hope all is ok @Christmascountdown25 x

My husband has cheated on me and also in the circle of friends/close family there have been 7 different situations in 3,5 years, where a man has cheated on his wife. I also find your husband's explanations lame. Especially after he described his female coworker with big breasts.

I myself bought a keylogger and installed it online on my husband's cell phone. I was able to see practically everything my husband was doing on his cell phone at any given time. I listened to calls, sounds around the cell phone, saw passwords, emails, chats, WhatsApp, Snapchat, Instagram...

If you have doubts about what your husband is really doing, this is how you can be 100% sure. For example, put in the search field of your cell phone: "best keylogger 2025 Android" (or iPhone, if your husband has an iPhone, for example).

I find this a totally bizarre way of thinking, I've stayed in hotels with work many times over the years when it was near enough for me to have gone home

Like a PP said I didn't have any trouble in not sleeping with colleagues while I was there.

What's so hard to understand that a person might just want a break from home for a night?

Obviously none of us know what the man in question did but it's nonsense to be 100% certain he was up to no good

Yeah, it's bs OP and you know it. There is no reason for him to book a hotel room, his excuse don't add up. I'd tell him I want to see the reimbursement from work or he can leave until he is willing to be honest with you about why he booked the room.

No reason apart from the fact that it's a work event? People don't invite partners along to party in any similar event I've been involved in, that would be very odd

She could I guess sit in the room and wait for him if she could find overnight childcare

I have done this in the past and there was nothing odd was going on.
Just got to hang out with people for longer and have hangover breakfast together the next day :)

I’ve never once invited DH to a team night out where we stayed in a hotel. It’s exactly that… a team night out. Still never shagged a colleague.

Actually, that's a great idea. There is no reason at all - not one single reason - why he wouldn't want his wife to come and join in a bit of a party and have a night in a hotel if he's not doing anything behind her back that he wouldn't do in front of her face.

I work for a big company, we have to book our own accommodation and expense them most of the time. Takes between 4-8 weeks to get expenses back, which is a bit rubbish really. Only people who get group bookings done by a PA or admin are the exec team. Rest of us plebs, even at senior level, are self service!