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To ask if most straight men are attracted much younger women?

415 replies

RubyTuesday10 · 08/10/2025 21:11

Had a depressing moment at work today, male colleague played a Jimmy Carr stand-up clip on his phone and it went along the lines of “if I had to pick my favourite child it would be my neighbour’s hot daughter.” The other men with him laughed at it. I couldn’t help feeling a bit nauseous and it’s made me question whether many older straight men actually do fantasise about girls in their late teens or whatever. Perhaps I have been naive to think it was something that just appealed to a minority of perverts. One or two of them have daughters too and it just strikes me as odd that they could even laugh at a joke like that. Am I naive to feel this way?

OP posts:
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GaIadriel · 09/10/2025 20:05

Strictly speaking, a lot of men probs have innate attraction to teenage girls. We haven't evolved much in the past few hundred years since the times when women were marrying in adolescence.

GaIadriel · 09/10/2025 20:00

The reason the joke is funny is because it's outrageous. It's amazing people are missing this. It wouldn't be considered outrageous if it was perfectly acceptable.

Wildefish · 09/10/2025 19:57

TheWonderhorse · 08/10/2025 21:43

People don't actually understand humour. If it were true it wouldn't be funny, or even a joke. It's funny because it's an outrageous thing to say.

Some things are just off limits for me to find funny even though I know it’s a joke

PrincessSophieFrederike · 09/10/2025 19:52

MidnightMeltdown · 09/10/2025 13:49

Because men are not the same as women! They are very different both from a biological, and an evolutionary perspective. Honestly, I don’t know how you can be in your early 40s and not have realised this.

Sadly yes. I'm 19 & I'd rather not believe that but it's best to accept reality... As I say, they're not bad unless they creep on underage girls.

PrincessSophieFrederike · 09/10/2025 19:50

localnotail · 09/10/2025 19:30

There are girls that look like young women at 12-13. They obviously are not if you look at their face/ speak to them - but all men are seeing is a beautiful body/ nice skin etc.

My friend's daughter is 14 and she is taller then me and has much more defined feminine figure than I ever had. She is still a baby but she has men asking her out etc...even when out shopping with her mum...but, to be fair, most are running away when they realise her age.

Yes I had a school acquaintance who got asked out at 11 by an 18yo! 🤮 Tbf she DID look maybe 14 or possibly older? This was in Greece, I don't know if mores there are different towards young girls, hopefully not..

I also had an Italian friend whose had 14yo friends in Italy who tried to get her a 14yo boyfriend. She said they seemed to forget she was only 12..

PrincessSophieFrederike · 09/10/2025 19:48

Do you really want to know the answer?

Most men find girls in their late teens attractive.

The main thing is that they know what's right, & therefore leave underage girls alone. Men who date only much younger women are also sneezy ofc, though it's legal.

Oldwmn · 09/10/2025 19:45

sundaychairtree · 08/10/2025 21:38

Dont be silly a woman of 18 or 19 is not a child!! Of course nen are sexually attracted to women in tbe prime of their fertility andv health and thus Most able to make and birth healthy children.That is not perverted its a Perfectly normal evolutionary biological urge.

They may be but middle aged men are rarely healthy (thinking of all the fat middle aged blokes I know ) & their sperm won't be in as good nick as it was when they were 18/19. Why would most young women look twice?

localnotail · 09/10/2025 19:30

IAmThePrettiestManOnMyIsland · 09/10/2025 13:45

I don't accept that. 15 year old girls are not fully developed. Most men are attracted to curvy women not skinny teenagers.

There are girls that look like young women at 12-13. They obviously are not if you look at their face/ speak to them - but all men are seeing is a beautiful body/ nice skin etc.

My friend's daughter is 14 and she is taller then me and has much more defined feminine figure than I ever had. She is still a baby but she has men asking her out etc...even when out shopping with her mum...but, to be fair, most are running away when they realise her age.

exaltedwombat · 09/10/2025 18:45

Of course men notice pretty girls of all ages. Yes, a few of them do something about it. But it’s sad when a man who dares to say ‘That’s a pretty girl!’ is accused of being a perv.

5128gap · 09/10/2025 18:37

JHound · 09/10/2025 17:10

There are studies that show when it comes to physical appearance yes, most straight men find women in their early 20s the most attractive to look at.

But (luckily for older women) for may men attraction and compatibility is a lot more than merely physical appearance.

Luckily for men you mean. Because if they were only attracted to early 20s women most of them would have to be celibate once they hit 30.

Nolongera · 09/10/2025 18:24

The whole point of the joke is that it's a revolting thing to say. That's where he gets his laugh.

That's what much of his act is.

If he had said. " My eldest" there would be no joke.

TwinklySquid · 09/10/2025 18:23

There are similar charts to this:
https://metro.co.uk/2019/02/22/men-regardless-age-will-always-attracted-women-early-20s-8718590/amp/

I do think some of the men would have gone lower, if it was legal.

JHound · 09/10/2025 17:10

There are studies that show when it comes to physical appearance yes, most straight men find women in their early 20s the most attractive to look at.

But (luckily for older women) for may men attraction and compatibility is a lot more than merely physical appearance.

Yahyah65 · 09/10/2025 17:07

Stop internalising this narcissists thoughts. Everything he has said about you is what he thinks of himself.

Also, as mentioned, records of everything and get the authorities involved. The guy sounds looney toons

5128gap · 09/10/2025 16:16

whataweekImhaving · 09/10/2025 13:53

This thread is hugely depressing.

Sadly I think you’re right.

I’ve unfortunately seen some of the ladies my husband ogles online and they are young. 19-early 20s young.

I’m mid 40s and feeling crap beyond measure.

You really don't want to take these threads too seriously. They appear every now and again and fill up with the projections of women insecure about their own looks, with a sprinkling of incels and MRA types who want to make women feel they're worthless after 30 so better settle for any inadequate specimen who'll have them.
Reality is, it hardly matters if men want 19 year olds, given attractive young women wouldn't look at most of them sideways.
Most men are not dating much younger women. Most people date within 5 years either way. Your average Joe in his 40s is not going to be getting a hot young woman. He will not have 'aged better' than his female counterpart, so frankly will be lucky to get an average woman in her 40s unless he's loaded.
Don't fall for the propaganda.

ginasevern · 09/10/2025 16:07

HRTQueen · 09/10/2025 16:00

Yes I think most men are attracted to younger woman I guess when purely physical attraction its biological. When wanting a relationship its driven by ego too

The joke, this is his type of humour I do not want comedy censored and he knows he is telling the truth about many men an uncomfortable truth we don't want to face. Men we know, we love, we respect, we are friends with, brothers, fathers and so one a significant number will be attracted to children, teenage girls (and boys).

I received a huge amount of unwanted creepy attention from men when I was about 15 (looked younger abotu 13) especially when wearing my school uniform, young girls are still having to deal with this. And it wasn't a few men it was many men

Exactly this. Unfortunately women are convinced it's a few "perverts". It isn't, it's the majority of bokes. Their husbands, brothers, dads, that kindly old boss of theirs. Obviously they wouldn't all openly cat call a15 year old in the street, but most will cast a crafty glance in their direction.

HRTQueen · 09/10/2025 16:00

Yes I think most men are attracted to younger woman I guess when purely physical attraction its biological. When wanting a relationship its driven by ego too

The joke, this is his type of humour I do not want comedy censored and he knows he is telling the truth about many men an uncomfortable truth we don't want to face. Men we know, we love, we respect, we are friends with, brothers, fathers and so one a significant number will be attracted to children, teenage girls (and boys).

I received a huge amount of unwanted creepy attention from men when I was about 15 (looked younger abotu 13) especially when wearing my school uniform, young girls are still having to deal with this. And it wasn't a few men it was many men

ginasevern · 09/10/2025 15:59

Blimey OP, you must have been living under a rock. I'm old enough to remember when mini skirts first appeared. Men of all ages (from 16 to 90) were walking into lamposts and falling off their bikes whilst ogling the teenagers wearing them! Do you honestly think that blokes of 60 (or any age) don't like fit young tits and arse? They might not all want to specifically date them, but my god they love to look.

WiseAdviceNeededPlease · 09/10/2025 15:56

TempestTost · 08/10/2025 22:21

I think this is common too. Many adult women find men under about 25 too "unfinished" looking, almost like boys. I felt that way by the time I was 16 myself.

I don't think our biology has much care for the idea that age gaps are a problem.

Logically (due to typical life spans) heterosexual women should partner with men who are a bit younger than themselves 5-10 years. The problem with middle aged men is that they tend to "let themselves go" :)

5128gap · 09/10/2025 15:53

Ironically in my experience, it only tends to be men who are getting on a bit themselves. Young men are usually more focused on how attractive the woman is rather than her age. I suppose its partly because attractive young men know they will be able to attract young women, so its not a novelty or a prize, whereas the aging ones have something to prove to themselves.

FrauPaige · 09/10/2025 15:38

It was a joke from a shock comedian. It is not a commentary on male psychology nor a cautionary tale for women.

And nowhere did it specify that the hypothetical girl next door was below the age of consent, so use of the words pervert and paedophile seem a little clumsy.

Rather than bandy these terms about when describing shock humour or aesthetic preferences, we need to reserve those words for illegal and harmful behaviours, lest we risk trivialising them and diminishing their gravity when applied to actually acts of coercion and child sexual abuse, which would be counter productive to combating actual abuse and crime.

MemorableTrenchcoat · 09/10/2025 15:07

RubyTuesday10 · 09/10/2025 14:38

Possibly but some of the responses here suggest otherwise. I think the reason it probably affected me initially was because one of the guys laughing was a man in his early sixties who I have always thought was a decent family guy, with a 19 year old daughter, one of the nicest blokes I’ve ever met, never said anything remotely sexist. When I commented it was a grim joke he looked a bit defensive and actually said “well over sixteen is legal!” It was just so depressing. I’m not sure if blaming biology lets men off the hook a bit too much, surely we can expect them to have evolved a little bit.

Edited

I don’t think you realise just how slowly evolution operates. Humans have existed for around 300,000 years. Modern civilisation has only been around for around 1,500 years, or 0.5% of that. Frankly, it’s impressive that we’ve been able to adapt as well as we have.

MemorableTrenchcoat · 09/10/2025 15:06

.

LondonLady1980 · 09/10/2025 14:46

RubyTuesday10 · 09/10/2025 14:38

Possibly but some of the responses here suggest otherwise. I think the reason it probably affected me initially was because one of the guys laughing was a man in his early sixties who I have always thought was a decent family guy, with a 19 year old daughter, one of the nicest blokes I’ve ever met, never said anything remotely sexist. When I commented it was a grim joke he looked a bit defensive and actually said “well over sixteen is legal!” It was just so depressing. I’m not sure if blaming biology lets men off the hook a bit too much, surely we can expect them to have evolved a little bit.

Edited

I stand by my point that you're over thinking it.

I'm in my mid-40s and sometimes I look at guys who are probably early-20s and think they are gorgeous!!! I imagine a lot of women do!!

Can I look at young males and think they're attractive and find them sexually appealing? Absolutely! Do I have naughty thoughts about them? Of course.

Would I actually have sex with them? Of course not!!!!

If women can look at much younger males of the species and find their appearance appealing, then so can men when it comes to what they think/feel when they look at younger females.

Finding someone attractive is a very different concept to actually acting on it.

RubyTuesday10 · 09/10/2025 14:38

LondonLady1980 · 09/10/2025 11:48

I think you are massively overthinking this OP.

I HIGHLY doubt there are many men in their 30/40s lusting after 16 year old girls.

That's just Jimmy Carr's humour......and like most other comedians, the jokes they make aren't a true reflection of society. They are just jokes.

Possibly but some of the responses here suggest otherwise. I think the reason it probably affected me initially was because one of the guys laughing was a man in his early sixties who I have always thought was a decent family guy, with a 19 year old daughter, one of the nicest blokes I’ve ever met, never said anything remotely sexist. When I commented it was a grim joke he looked a bit defensive and actually said “well over sixteen is legal!” It was just so depressing. I’m not sure if blaming biology lets men off the hook a bit too much, surely we can expect them to have evolved a little bit.

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