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Original poster

To not bother with weekly ‘busy work’ homework tasks?

191 replies

MissYouForever · 08/10/2025 20:53

My daughter is in year 1. She has weekly spellings with a weekly test and of course her school reading book. Both of these I fully understand the importance of and we do always make sure these are all completed.

But we are also being set weekly tasks for English and Maths that I really, really do not have the time to organise and motivate my child to do. It is clearly to support their learning in whatever they are are being taught this week, but in all honesty it just feels like a box ticking exercise from the school/teacher.

AIBU to just not bother? She is 5! She is doing great at school, no problems at all. I know it will be brought up to me in the the parents evening and I hate that feeling that I’m letting my child down or not being a good enough parent to force these silly tasks to be completed every week. It’s just too much. I have a younger child, trying to manage work, the household and maintain my own sanity.

I just feel like it’s yet another expectation on the parents. Another thing we are scrutinised with and made to feel inadequate about. And I just find it irritating seeing an end of year report for my child with top ticks on all the ‘exceeding expectations’ criteria for academic progress and behaviour except a big red X on the homework heading because we didn’t do enough of the tasks (this was last year)

OP posts:
PumpkinSparkleFairy · 09/10/2025 07:51

A 5 year old does NOT need homework.

Reading with them at home should be fine.

autienotnaughty · 09/10/2025 07:50

I agree 5 year olds shouldn’t be getting homework but just to mention at my son’s school if they don’t do the homework they stay in Friday lunch to complete it.

Mightymooo · 09/10/2025 07:49

Neurodiversitydoctor · 09/10/2025 07:45

Sorry "I don't have time" = I don't want to do this = crap parenting 9 times out of 10. All the south asian and african families I know do school work with their DCs daily and in most cases both parents work ft.

Show quote history

I work on my feet, come home, do house work, make dinner, wash up, do laundry and collapse in a heap. Yes it is a struggle to squeeze in 30 mins homework every single day. Piss off.

user1476613140 · 09/10/2025 07:48

We're in Scotland. Mine just had reading books to complete and spelling is optional.

That's a ridiculous amount of homework for a 5yo!!

NotQuiteUsual · 09/10/2025 07:48

I only do the reading with my kids. From the get go they're on their own with spellings and other busy work. Sounds harsh and mean I know. But my eldest who is in secondary does all her homework woth zero prompting because that's always been the expectation and my middle child in upper primary is the same with his homework. If he wants a good mark on that spelling test he knows how to get it.

Homework was always this huge battle in my childhood, with me crying my eyes out and my parents shouting at each other. A couple missed breaks for not doing it would have soon taught me to do my homework so the drama was pointless. I'll be damned if my kids go through what I did.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 09/10/2025 07:45

Mightymooo · 09/10/2025 07:43

I think at that age you do what you can. I also have a DC in year 1, we were given a sheet expecting them to practice 10 spellings every day (there was a column to fill in for each day) I think we will probably manage 3 days max. Older DC is in year 4 and can do 90% of his homework independently, but in year 1 they really need their hand held the entire way through and most parents I know just dont have the time. I know a few who refuse to do any of it.

Sorry "I don't have time" = I don't want to do this = crap parenting 9 times out of 10. All the south asian and african families I know do school work with their DCs daily and in most cases both parents work ft.

Mightymooo · 09/10/2025 07:43

I think at that age you do what you can. I also have a DC in year 1, we were given a sheet expecting them to practice 10 spellings every day (there was a column to fill in for each day) I think we will probably manage 3 days max. Older DC is in year 4 and can do 90% of his homework independently, but in year 1 they really need their hand held the entire way through and most parents I know just dont have the time. I know a few who refuse to do any of it.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 09/10/2025 07:42

Luxio · 09/10/2025 07:39

Learning is not just something that happens at school and parents do need to contribute too. Yes even at 5 - especially at 5

You do realise that learning especially at age 5 is done in many ways and just because it's a worksheet or project set by school it isn't superior learning in comparison to the many other things small children do outside of school right?

Not one person on this thread including the OP has indicated that they leave all the learning to schools but not completing a maths worksheet or building a model replica of a Tudor house is not going to impact a child's education.

I would suggest that doing these things with a parent is teaching how to focus on something not terribly rewarding for 20 minutes or so, fine motor skills and hopefully having a conversation with an adult whilst doing it. All of this is important age 5.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 09/10/2025 07:41

KateShugakIsALegend · 08/10/2025 21:28

I loathe 'parent and child' homework with a passion.

If you are a teenager, fair dos, but homework that requires a parent just widens the life chances gap between kids with home lives of plenty and kids with crap home lives.

It also creates real tension at home and damages relationships with all the nagging required. Hated it as a parent.

When I were a lass we had nowt in primary school and it didn't do me any harm......

Completely agree with this. Any homework set at this age should be able to be completed by the child with either no or minimal parent input. Apart from reading or revising for a quiz.
I dont recall my parents ever helping me with homework.

Neurodiversitydoctor · 09/10/2025 07:40

MissYouForever · 09/10/2025 07:29

I see the importance of homework as they get to older primary age, and I do see the importance of habit setting. But i think if you’ve still got young children and most things are a battle anyway especially when they’re tired after school, adding in silly ‘busy work’ tasks to the week just makes things worse surely?

What I don’t want to do is create an environment where she resents homework or it becomes a struggle to do. Last year when we had the tasks, I waited until the weekend and then tried to fit them in. I’m not prepared to be forcing my child every week to sit down and do something that they don’t want to do. Especially when I usually also have a 3 year old hanging off my arm screaming about something. It’s just stressful.

I would suggest the opposite is true. I accept I am an old fart (nearly 50 with DC of 19 & 21) but if 20 minutes of study after tea or breakfast is established now ( would always feed them 1st even if just a biscuit) then it will make life easier when they are in KS2/3. It might be a battle for a week but then it will just be normal.

Luxio · 09/10/2025 07:39

Learning is not just something that happens at school and parents do need to contribute too. Yes even at 5 - especially at 5

You do realise that learning especially at age 5 is done in many ways and just because it's a worksheet or project set by school it isn't superior learning in comparison to the many other things small children do outside of school right?

Not one person on this thread including the OP has indicated that they leave all the learning to schools but not completing a maths worksheet or building a model replica of a Tudor house is not going to impact a child's education.

Worriedalltheday · 09/10/2025 07:32

JamDisaster · 08/10/2025 21:20

I think this is really poor, sorry.

Same. A child’s education is a joint effort. Too many parents happy to sit back and leave it to school and then complain after

Original poster
MissYouForever · 09/10/2025 07:31

I think I’m more aggravated as they were initially sent homework ‘sheets’ but we were expected to print them ourselves. Most parents don’t have printers (myself included) and enough people complained that the teacher now just clearly writes out the homework sheet tasks instead in a paragraph so we’re basically having to draw these sheets ourselves and then do them!

OP posts:
Original poster
MissYouForever · 09/10/2025 07:29

I see the importance of homework as they get to older primary age, and I do see the importance of habit setting. But i think if you’ve still got young children and most things are a battle anyway especially when they’re tired after school, adding in silly ‘busy work’ tasks to the week just makes things worse surely?

What I don’t want to do is create an environment where she resents homework or it becomes a struggle to do. Last year when we had the tasks, I waited until the weekend and then tried to fit them in. I’m not prepared to be forcing my child every week to sit down and do something that they don’t want to do. Especially when I usually also have a 3 year old hanging off my arm screaming about something. It’s just stressful.

OP posts:
drspouse · 09/10/2025 07:28

Primary school homework makes NO difference to achievement. Loads of studies have shown this. Don't do it!

Ddakji · 09/10/2025 07:26

There’s no evidence to say that homework in primary affects educational outcomes.

However, if there isn’t a spare 20 mins in the evening that suggests you’re very stretched so I’d look at that anyway, even if you don’t intend to do the homework.

Comtesse · 09/10/2025 07:25

Luxio · 09/10/2025 06:22

Genuine question but why? The homework is often literally set just to tick a box and to appease parents who think children should get homework. It doesn't actually benefit the children so why would you encourage someone to waste time at the weekend doing it?

Also the OP does not need a grip. Hmm It's fine to disagree with her approach but at least rationally argue why you think she should do the homework instead of just throwing out random insults.

Show quote history

Do you think parents in Hong Kong or Singapore say “oh well, it probably doesn’t matter, I haven’t got time”? I doubt it. It seems symptomatic of a very different learning culture. Learning is not just something that happens at school and parents do need to contribute too. Yes even at 5 - especially at 5.

And if you think “get a grip” is an insult, then the rest of AIBU is going to blow your mind 😂

Neurodiversitydoctor · 09/10/2025 07:22

DesparatePragmatist · 08/10/2025 21:37

I dont believe in homework for parents. When the kids can do it themselves, then great, and it fosters responsibility and starts to practice skills like self-organising and discipline. Until then, nope, it kills the golden hour between childcare and bed and means WEs aren't for hobbies and family activities. My DD started being able to do her own homework in Yr 4 and now by Yr 5 is pretty much on it, and asks for help if she does need it. I genuinely think you can let it slide in the early years and isn't essential till secondary.

This is extraordinary. Yr4/Yr 5 being independent ? You do realise that " prep" school pupils will have an hour of supervised home work each night. This is also what we did ( state school) to prepare for the 11+. As others have said it engenders good study habits which they will take with them into secondary school. It can also be good bonding. I cannot imagine allowing my 8 year old to " get on with it" . DCs are now adults, both academically sucessful.

sashh · 09/10/2025 07:12

Back in the day (70s/80s) primary schools did not give homework and didn't have uniforms.

Primaries now remind me of mini high schools.

Coolcomfort · 09/10/2025 07:12

usethedata · 08/10/2025 21:25

All the evidence suggests homework at this age beyond reading is not of value to the child so you are not being unreasonable to not do it. Many teachers I know say the same thing but can't not set homework. I would just tell the teacher so your child isnt being asked and the teacher is clear.

As a teacher I fully agree with this!

Spending time with family/friends and playing after a long school day should be the priority especially for a child so young. Lots of this stuff is just a tick box exercise that many teachers do not want to set but have to.

FancyCatSlave · 09/10/2025 07:10

You picked a bad school in that regard. DD is Y1, they get lots of reading books (DD gets 6 a week, 3 on Tues and 3 on Fri), but that’s it. No other homework, that’s their formal policy. From Y2 they do TT rockstars too.

The school gets good results, compares equally to the school nearby that piles on the homework. There is very little evidence to support homework apart from reading for little ones.

KateShugakIsALegend · 09/10/2025 07:09

KateShugakIsALegend · 08/10/2025 21:28

I loathe 'parent and child' homework with a passion.

If you are a teenager, fair dos, but homework that requires a parent just widens the life chances gap between kids with home lives of plenty and kids with crap home lives.

It also creates real tension at home and damages relationships with all the nagging required. Hated it as a parent.

When I were a lass we had nowt in primary school and it didn't do me any harm......

Also used to give me the rage when I would tell the kids we were going to watch a film as a treat and they would say 'oh, we watched that at school'.

How about school does the learning, and I do the fun....

mellongoose · 09/10/2025 07:09

I’m finding all these replies really interesting. DD is in Y6 and we’ve had weekly homework all the way through primary. It takes 20-30 minutes once a week so we’ve usually done it on a weekend (with the occasional rushed Monday breakfast time!). This week she had done herself it before I even checked. I’m hoping this is the start of a good habit formed, ready for secondary.

Until now, I’ve helped her and I don’t always know the answers so we’ve had to work it out together (I’m looking at you, long division 🙄). Husband is dyslexic so he took charge of arts and crafts.
Anyway she knows now that it’s normal to get it done, regardless of whether we personally feel it’s a good idea or not.

A saying in this house is “play the game”. Do what they need you to do to get to the next stage.

PollyBell · 09/10/2025 07:08

It was simpler for us to do it that go down the 'schools have special meetings because they have nothing better to do that they their hardest to judge parents and make them feel inadequate' route

School sets work our child did it and we helped when we needed too

Thedevilhasfinallycaughtupwithhim · 09/10/2025 07:04

I think the idea is to try to normalise it and incorporate it into to their weekend so they’re prepared for going through school.
Just set aside ten minutes on a weekend and do what you can in that time. If you are consistent and keep it short amount of time, you might be met with less resistance each week.