Edinburgh Waverley station needs me.

I remember when Leeds introduced a new platform around 25 years ago. It used to go platforms 1-13, or 1-17 (can't recall now) so you'd expect it to now be 1-14 or 1-18...but no...it was named platform W. Because it's westerly! Lovely bit of Yorkshire logic there 😀

I love the Piece Hall - used to shop there all the time when I was a kid. I gather it's now a music venue and all sorts!

I've been doing that run for over 20 years and it's often platform 8. Which is up and over via the escalators to the left if you're stood with your back to the old main waiting room looking at the departure boards (some of them anyway!) with Costa on your right and Pret on your left. It's Avanti on the WCML though, not Great Western.

whatplatform.co.uk also does the same job.

Finding the actual platform is then another matter 😀

Those were the days when you could drive right into Waverley for drop off or pick up, and even park in there. Seems almost unbelievable now!

Padders is a nightmare in that regard. At Easter I had cause to go from Penzance to Padders then cross London to travel from Euston to the north west. Mainly because I'd discovered I couldn't overnight in London and travel home the next day as Euston was being closed for the entire bank holiday weekend so the toilets could be replaced 🙄

I almost missed my train and possibly the entire the bank holiday weekend to the task of trying to cross from the main station into the Underground. Frank Pick and Charles Holden must be spinning at the very thought of how that's laid out.

Great western?? It’s TPE or avanti west coast to Preston. often 7, 8 or 9. Never 3, 4, 5, or 6, but sure I’ve taken it from one of 14-17 once. Or just get on at haymarket!

Found this exit once meeting my DD during Covid times. Station was very quiet and we got easily parked by the exit. One of my fondest Waverley memories.

You can't draw a normal flat map though, Waverley needs a third dimension.

Yep. To get out the back way, walk past M&S, along platform 2 or whatever it's calling itself these days, keep going past the piano and up the steps. It's the best exit. Technically it's also an entrance but I never go in that way.

Of course last time I was only running that late because I'd just escaped a near identical experience trapped in the tower annexe of the National Museum of Scotland, the closing announcements sounding around me.

Do the wacky hats involve badges? Or other embellishments? I'm getting a faint vision of perhaps a blue topper with maybe a feather?

Perhaps I've invoked him in time past. Though I don't feel a sufficiently reliable witness in this matter to appease the sceptical.

I admit my technique now is to throw myself on the mercy of anyone uniformed, gasping, "I have an off-peak ticket so must depart the station in the next 8 minutes. I've been trying for half an hour but the trains keep disappearing off the board."

Staff are usually very unsurprised and very nice about it.

Hang on, how many exits are there?

Main one up the road/ramp, Cockburn Street at the front. A harder to find one along the side that comes out at a Council building and guessing one up to Princes street.

Is there another secret one?

Re Burger King/M&S, I found on my last trip that the best solution is to place yourself in a long queue at the LNER ticket office - perhaps because you missed your train BECAUSE YOU COULDN'T FIND THE RIGHT BLOODY PLATFORM - mutter under your breath for the 20 minutes it takes to reach the front of the queue, muster all your decency to be nice to the poor put-upon LNER staff member behind the counter, acquire a new ticket along with express confirmation of the new platform number IN TRIPLICATE along with directions to said platform, wander out of this office still muttering under your breath and with blurred vision because your ire is only just beginning to subside, wait for the smoke out of your ears to dissipate…..and lo! M&S will be in front of you and you’ll only be just a tiny bit confused by the smell of frying fatty beef patties. Whether or not M&S will have any sandwiches left to purchase is a different matter entirely.

And you have to walk a very long way to reach platform 7......

I've been using Waverley since 1991 & have never seen anyone assisting with accessibility. Sorry but I don't believe 'wacky hat guy' exists outside of Scotch mist.

It brings you out at the back of the Station - so up the hill, under the bridge and onto Leith Street. Just UP the road from John Lewis. Quickest way to get to John Lewis, the Omni centre and the Playhouse

I remember driving around Edinburgh using an early model satnav. The poor thing got totally confused and ended up spluttering contradictory half sentences before totally giving up.

The John Lewis exit is the best bit. You can avoid ALL the tourists & and Festival goers. No ticket office or complaints place now. Borders trains always cancelled. London Sleeper trains often hard to find (absurdly).
And platforms that change number halfway along. Still it IS the most glorious view as you exit, tbf, even for spoiled for food views locals. Pass the pigs & Neros :)

That's fine, this doesn't affect the holistic navigation. You don't need to follow someone who knows where they are going, just someone who looks like they know where they are going.

The important this is that when you inevitably end up in the wrong place, you can blame someone other than yourself.

I have never been to the station in question, but the solution seems clear to me. You need to follow the "Dirk Gently" means of holistic navigation.

You stand in front of the departure board, and 10 minutes before your train leaves, you pick someone who looks like they know where they're going, and then follow them.

You may not end up where you intended to be, but you will end up exactly where the universe intends you to be.

Unless it's Dunvant. In that case you're just lost.

My local station has just one platform, and modt of the line is single track. Then when one train breaks down or gets delayed the knock on effect can last all day.

Whenever I go to Leeds my train home always leaves from platform 17, so I always have to add another 10 minutes to allow getting from the barrier to my platform.