Daughter not soeaky

I think it's weird to kiss a baby. Why? What benefit does it have to the baby?

Why do people feel they have to kiss babies? I've not got an issue with germs. I just cannot understand why adults need to put their spit on a baby.

Aaaand there we have it

Wow.

I hope all the "ooh what a nutter your daughter is OP, your daughter should chill and granddaughter needs lots of lovely germs" pick-me posters will at least be aware that a baby most certainly does not need the hepatitis virus!

Children's immune systems mature by around the age of seven - yes, gradual exposure to germs helps it develop, but overloading a baby's very immature immune system is completely counterproductive. Someone recuperating from a very long illness or serious accident or operation starts with gentle walks first, not with a marathon, and it's the same thing with gradual exposure, not a full onslaught on an immune system nowhere near ready. Nobody's immune system benefits from herpes.

Herpes is transmitted by touch. If you have a cold sore on your face, then kiss someone, you give them herpes.

Wait a minute OP. You mention your husband, but then you say:

saying that we shouldn't of kissed her

At a time that you had a cold sore. When you have both been asked not to kiss the baby.

It's not "utterly inconsequential" to kiss a baby with a cold sore. It is extremely dangerous. And one the baby has been kissed the damage has been done.

So if she asks her parents not kiss the baby and they do it anyway, the only way to definitely keep their lips off the baby is to keep them away from it. Because they clearly can't be trusted. "Oops no kisses please!" Won't remove the herpes virus from a vulnerable infant.

Surely if someone's got a cold sore or RSV they're more likely to transfer the virus from touching baby's hands with their hands or sitting up close face-to-face playing/talking/laughing or coughing/sneezing in the vicinity/over surfaces baby will touch, than they are by kissing the back of baby's head? I'm not a doctor, but I'm thinking it's inhalation of droplets or ingestion that's the risk. Viruses can't be absorbed through the skin can they?!

How bizarre. I have a small child. I would never think to ask my parents not to kiss their grandchild. If they had a cold, they stay away but kissing your grandchild who is 6 months on the head does not warrant the silent treatment. I can only imagine there is a more to the story or the OP daughter needs to relax a little.

@Growlybear83
The op has - conveniently - omitted the very pertinent detail that she had a cold sore last month and was holding her daughter's baby. I'd say her daughter is fed up.

What is your daughter’s relationship like with her father generally?

The OP gets cold sores according to another thread. Perhaps that is also part of the reason her daughter made the boundary she did. Based on dates, the OP had a cold sore when this event happened.

Some older people seem to forget that things change and update all the time, otherwise we would all still be driving without seatbelts and putting babies to sleep on their fronts, surrounded by soft toys and crib bumpers as mum and dad kick back and have a smoke.

People saying ‘She put a boundary in place and you ignored it’ are missing the point that cutting off family for a month, for an utterly inconsequential mistake over a boundary that doesn’t actually pose any risk to the baby, is an insanely disproportionate response.

If the boundary was ‘Don’t give my child cigarettes’ or ‘Nobody is to leave my baby in the bath unattended’ and the grandparents had ignored it, her response would be proportionate. But if she reacts like this to someone kissing a six month old grandchild on the back of the head, which is something lots of people would just do instinctively and unthinkingly, she has lost the plot. She’s entitled to have boundaries but the correct response would have been ‘Oops, please remember, no kisses please!’ and that should have been the end of it.

If you are a grandparent, I wouldn't get too cocky about that. My MIL said exactly the same thing about me and my husband, not realising that we don't need or want childcare, and if we did, we can easily afford a nanny.

I think your daughter is completely bonkers. People have kissed babies for ever and it’s a natural thing for a grandparent to do. I think the world has gone mad.

So most people will think her rule is unreasonable however she told you her wishes, you have known thos for a long time so why did dh do it now

Your thread a month ago (the same amount of time your dd hasn't been speaking to you for) is probably the cause here.

You're just trying to make your dd look irrational to justify your own actions.

How you describe this it's sort of off...the child is member of your community and not endangered by a grandfather's kiss ...like the other thread today ( now deleted) there a lot of OCD around, and there probably wouldn't be if men stepped up more during initial months of parenthood.

Yup. This won't be the first time the OP's daughter has expressly asked OP and her DH not to kiss the baby.

Yes I've just seen that too ...

Yes, it would be relevant op.

Well OP's got a cold sore, so her DH might too, and they've alread been asked not to kiss the baby.

There is some truth in that, but people stretch the logic to justify a lack of precaution.

It is true that babies use careful exposure to a limited amount of germs to build immunity slowly and incrementally so that by the time they are older - and can't stay wrapped up at home - they have a better ability to withstand them.

But it doesn't follow that it makes sense to expose a tiny baby who hasn't yet developed that immunity to a whopping dose of a nasty virus just so they won't suffer when a great big strapping three year old. That's topsy turvy logic. Babies require more caution around germs.

Your thread last month about having a cold sore and holding your grandchild is probably relevant here.

I find it weird that grown adults feel compelled to kiss babies that aren’t their own. It’s selfish and absolutely is a risk to RSV.

The NHS advise for people to avoid kissing babies unless you’re their parent or main carer in good health.

OP, if your daughter had specifically asked for people not to kiss her baby, then you’re H is being totally unreasonable and you should be more understanding rather than sulking on the internet.