Daughter not soeaky

It's incredibly childish. Yet we live in a world where we are allowed to be offended at the drop of a hat and throw sulky tantrums. I have to say to keep it up for a month is impressive.
OP - make bets with your husband about when she will come skulking back. Closest one to the date wins a prize. Turn it into something light hearted to stop you getting so upset.

It's a new thing, find every possible reason to be offended by anything - it's also exhausting & unfair. We raised our own kids in different times, it didn't do them any harm......oh, but wait a minute 🤔

This says a lot about you and how you view your daughter.

She asked you not to and stated her reasoning - she shouldn’t even have to do the latter but she did. You cracked on as you didn’t respect what she was asking of you both and are now firmly in the victim position. Good on your daughter for holding a firm boundary.

To not understand the instinct to kiss a baby is indeed a bit alarming.

Not saying that means you give into it in every circumstance, but to not understand it is so weird. That soft, soft hair and the baby smell ...

@Doglover36 Based on this info' on the NHS website (www.nhs.uk/conditions/respiratory-syncytial-virus-rsv/ ) unless your DGD is vulnerable for some reason, I think your DD has totally over-reacted and I'm sorry she's now blanking you and your DH. If she keeps this up I feel sure she will regret it in the future.

“Put their spit” is a really weird interpretation of a kiss in my opinion. But there you go.

So this has been a rule for some time, but your husband disregarded it?

She likely feels you don’t respect her parenting choices

Yes I agree about the toy-throwing - and the bedding. But I can also see how the thought of it is unsettling for her and she'd just prefer people didn't.

But the silence is childish.

It pisses me off how much HSV and RSV get conflated!!! Any threads about people not wanting relatives to kiss their baby talk about the two in the same breath as if the mechanisms of transmission are the same. HSV i.e. cold sores are transmitted through kisses, yes, and NHS recommends people don't let others kiss their newborns because of this.

RSV is a respiratory virus and kissing is not any particular risk factor for passing it on! Especially in the case of the OP, a kiss on the back of the head WILL NOT PASS ON RSV!!!! If you want to make a particular effort to stop your baby from getting RSV, get your vaccine during pregnancy. Then keep your small baby away from crowded areas and any sort of close contact, and ask visitors to stay away if they're ill. If you allow your baby to have close contact with people, take them out in crowded public areas, go to playgroups where they share toys with other children etc, then you are NOT GOING TO REDUCE YOUR BABY'S RISK OF CATCHING RSV by not letting relatives kiss them!!! It's a tiny symbolic hopeful gesture that does nothing.

me too…

but yeah if you’ve been told not to kiss and did it anyway then you’re at fault

What on Earth does ‘soeaky’ mean? I’ve googled and read through the thread but still non the wiser?

OP any chance your DH has for ignoring DD's requests or for infringing on her physical boundaries? Seems unlikely to me that DD's reaction isn't to a bigger pattern.

Apologise and ask her how she feels about this and why. And try to listen. Even if she's blowing out of proportion in your view.

I managed to get through without ever needing grandparents to babysit. If they were so prepared to cross a boundary like this, and not concede they had made a mistake, I wouldn’t have asked them anyway.

And @Helplessandheartbroke Sorry but my thoughts are that shes a loon and a snowflake gen z

In the UK, one baby a week dies from the herpes virus contracted from cold sores. Even those who survive can have lifelong neurological problems. A further 30 babies a year die from RSV and those who survive can have lifelong lung issues.

If this can be avoided by something as simple as not kissing babies, why wouldn’t you do it?

I’m sure, like me, you are of or close to the generation where we were thrown in the back of cars, even in the boot of a hatchback, no restraints. But we realised this was killing large numbers of children so we stopped it. I survived those days, but many children didn’t. With each generation we learn new things about babies. We learn how to reduce neonatal deaths, how to raise them better. By the time my daughter has a child there will be more knowledge and she will do things differently because they have figured out how to reduce other things that are a risk to babies. Isn’t that what we want? For our grandchildren to be safer than we were? Every older generation claims “things have gone too far” and “this generation is so soft” which is ridiculous. It wasn’t true of the boomers when they raised us, nor true of the Gen X-ers as we raised our babies. The only one constant across each generation is, what they need is support, not ridicule. So if you hear something you think is stupid, maybe look at the research and think whether the tiny request you are unwilling to follow is worth the risk (not matter how small) of killing or giving life long damage to your precious grandchild.

We all like to think we know it all but daughters dont randomly stop talking to both their parents for one kiss.

If anything deserves a laugh emoji it’s your post. Do you think your own dad and children’s grandad is a creepy old man?

Yes, if OP has somehow forgotten to mention that he had his fly unzipped and was drooling, I could understand the hysteria.

I understand she was annoyed if it was against her wishes but not to talk to you for a month is ridiculous. When she eventually decides she wants you for babysitting, I’d be unavailable.

Hardly a minefield. They were simply asked not to kiss the baby. If you can’t follow a simple instruction like that, you are the problem.

Op not saying this is the case but my inlaws usually tell stories like this where they explain something making me sound completely unreasonable ( the stories always get back to me from other family members) but miss out all the details which would back me up. Also your last post sounds like you dont respect your daughters boundaries if you're implying she been taking it out on us all... shes had a baby. Like another poster said. Her baby her rules.

A bit over protective?

Admittedly a bit older but ours made mud pies and kissed the cat.

All ok, all made past infancy, teenage years and into adulthood.

Sorry but my thoughts are that shes a loon and a snowflake gen z

Silly girl has spent far too long on Google.
How patronising.

It's really sad that you feel "treating your mother and MIL with the respect they deserve" means you just let them walk all over you.

It's even sadder that you've been conditioned to believe that standing up for yourself and keeping people who dangerously ignore your wishes repeatedly away from your own baby who is your responsibility to protect is throwing a tantrum.

Adults get to say no. Adults get to say stay away from me if you won't respect me. I'm sorry you don't feel you can assert that to the older women in your life.

He kissed her on the back of the head??!??!??!

Thank fuck I will be dead soon, the world has gone mad.