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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Need a hand hold please

36 replies

happydays93 · 08/10/2025 16:38

This has happened within the last few hours so bare with me if it’s a ramble.
My partner moved in with me approx 6 weeks ago. He has 3 children and we moved into my flat so that we could save for a mortgage, we needed a little more money for a deposit (he sold the house he had - but we didn’t have quite enough equity to move on as it was a shared ownership home).
Today, he came home from work early and told me he was suspended. He is suspended for cheating on me whilst on shift (he’s definitely getting sacked, as he’s on probation - it’s a new job).
I’ve thrown him out. I can’t do this. This isn’t the first time he’s been sacked for something and we have been through hell and back in the last 4 years - I thought things were just looking up for us.
He is hysterical saying that he should kill himself and he hasn’t got anywhere to have his children overnight. He’s asked to stay with me until he’s found somewhere and I have said no. AIBU? My heart is absolutely beyond broken. I can’t even fathom how I am going to get through this.

OP posts:
AC246 · 08/10/2025 17:12

Stick to your guns.
He is lying cheating scum.
Call the police and report his abusive manipulative threat to kill himself.
Do that for his children.
Please do not be used further by him.
I'm so sorry.
Call the police.

ItsameLuigi · 08/10/2025 17:08

Ablondiebutagoody · 08/10/2025 16:41

Stick to your guns and don't be guilt tripped, this is all on him. He can go to a hotel if he has to. Should be plenty of money from his house sale.

First post nails it. Stay strong OP

Fatiguedwithlife · 08/10/2025 16:55

Do not engage with him. Thank your lucky stars it happened before you were more tied to him. The kids will be fine, it’s his problem not yours.
stay strong

TeaForTheTillermanSteakForTheSun · 08/10/2025 16:54

If he is threatening suicide then I would stop engaging and call the police for a welfare check on him.

He's trying to manipulate you into feeling bad for him when its him.that is in the wrong in every single way.

His kids are his responsibility, he wasn't thinking about them when he was off cheating on you at work, so why should you think about them now.

You're doing the right thing.

Tubestrike · 08/10/2025 16:53

Absolutely don't let him stay. I guess he's only threatening suicide because he's been found out, this is a dreadful thing to use against someone and I very much doubt if he means it. This is all on him, he'll have to go to a friends or family. Thank goodness you kept your property.

DylanBrownCow · 08/10/2025 16:49

Stick to your guns.

Arlanymor · 08/10/2025 16:47

Threatening suicide is a horrible form of abusive control. You owe him NOTHING. Literally nothing. Tell him you want nothing more to do with him and block him from contacting you in every form possible. He has made his cheating bed and now he has to lie in it. He has money from the sale of the house and he needs to use that to sort out appropriate accommodation for himself and the children. This is NOT your issue to fix. Not remotely. I am so sorry that you are going through this because all of this extra stress is actually masking the crux of the issue which is that he has horribly betrayed you and torn apart the future that you had planned together. But stay strong, you will get through and past this, just take it one day at a time. There will be a brighter future for you.

Rottenbanana250 · 08/10/2025 16:45

Agree with PP's I feel sorry for his children but he really should have thought of that before he started shacking up with someone else (whilst he should be working no less!)

What a horrible shock for you OP but don't be bullied or manipulated into feeling sorry for him, it's entirely his own doing.

andweallsingalong · 08/10/2025 16:44

This is a him problem, not your problem. Stick to your guns. If he continues to threaten suicide call him an ambulance then block and leave him to it

Justlovedogs · 08/10/2025 16:43

Ablondiebutagoody · 08/10/2025 16:41

Stick to your guns and don't be guilt tripped, this is all on him. He can go to a hotel if he has to. Should be plenty of money from his house sale.

This, 100%

Ablondiebutagoody · 08/10/2025 16:41

Stick to your guns and don't be guilt tripped, this is all on him. He can go to a hotel if he has to. Should be plenty of money from his house sale.