Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Spikey comment

35 replies

NimbleViewer · 08/10/2025 15:32

My husband (62) is a whizz at all kinds of diy. He will often do jobs for friends, saving them hundreds. He doesn't expect money but does expect maybe a token bit of money or a thank you and often feels taken for granted.

He does a massive amount for my mum (80) saving her money and having strangers in her house He has never had much in his life, so doesn't take money for granted, understanding the value of it.

My mum has just shown me a gift (money wallet) she has got him for Christmas , adding she knows how money orientated he is.

AIBU to be so hurt at the comment, cos that is not who he. All he expects is to feel valued and not taken for granted. I would never mention it to him as I know he would be extremely hurt and possibly never set foot in my mums again.

OP posts:
Darragon · 08/10/2025 15:55

He does a massive amount for my mum (80) saving her money
Does he tell her how much it would cost to get someone in and how little he can do it for? Because that might be where she’s got the idea. People who are always talking about discounts, where you can get things cheaper, what the cost price is vs markups etc do tend to be money-oriented ime.
Seems a bit flippant to just throw away a relationship with your own mother over a misunderstanding.

Dollymylove · 08/10/2025 15:54

Your DP sounds ace 😍 can you send him round to my house?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 08/10/2025 15:48

That’s horrible of her. Not the wallet but the comment.

Bloobelly · 08/10/2025 15:39

MissyB1 · 08/10/2025 15:38

You should have asked her to clarify what she meant. “Sorry what did you say mum? Not sure I understand…”

Exactly
surely that would just be natural next step in conversation

Bloobelly · 08/10/2025 15:39

NimbleViewer · 08/10/2025 15:37

Almost 20 years. He will quite happily go around on his own to help her out. I am the main person to go out with my mum so there will often be the three of us. We go on holiday today. They have a very close relationship which is why the comment stings. I feel it is just clumsy rather than nasty but I'm still hurt by it

Show quote history

So 20 years and good relationship and this one “spiked” comment and you have interpreted it as meaning your mother thinks negatively of your husband?

MissyB1 · 08/10/2025 15:38

You should have asked her to clarify what she meant. “Sorry what did you say mum? Not sure I understand…”

Original poster
NimbleViewer · 08/10/2025 15:37

Bloobelly · 08/10/2025 15:34

How long have your mother and DP known one another?

and a good relationship?

Almost 20 years. He will quite happily go around on his own to help her out. I am the main person to go out with my mum so there will often be the three of us. We go on holiday today. They have a very close relationship which is why the comment stings. I feel it is just clumsy rather than nasty but I'm still hurt by it

OP posts:
Bloobelly · 08/10/2025 15:35

He doesn't expect money but does expect maybe a token bit of money or a thank you and often feels taken for granted.

by whom does he feel taken for granted by?

and he doesn’t expect money but does expect “a token bit of money”?

Bloobelly · 08/10/2025 15:34

How long have your mother and DP known one another?

and a good relationship?

Bloobelly · 08/10/2025 15:34

He has never had much in his life, so doesn't take money for granted, understanding the value of it.

I suppose it’s all about what this means in reality in terms of his behaviour op

Swipe left for the next trending thread