To wonder what people actually expect and why they can’t just be happy to live simply?

You put this so well. I was born in the 70s.
Hand me down clothes and a knitted school jumper! I was happy as Larry.
Just look at all the sh**e on offer at a supermarket. Sometimes it feels like more than half the shop floor is landfill (including clothes).

Some ‘unnecessary’ treats do make you happy, or content at least. I never bother with nails etc as I think largely a waste of money But for going to a party and wearing g sandals, def get nails done. It makes some people feel good. Fun nights out - comedy, laughter, friendship / without these we wither and die. Agree we don’t need buckets of champagne -tea is fine for me - but it is so important for our physical snd mental health that we don’t just churn out the drudge every day. Holidays are still a luxury for me but when I get them it’s fantastic! If I could take more I would. There a whole world of beautiful places and fun opportunities- why not enjoy if you can?

Damm, why didn’t I think of that? But wait, my jumper has holes in it and well, if I bought a new one, it could be misconstrued as “ excess”?

Just put on another jumper, don't worry about the black mould in the corner

^ This.

Definitely only at Christmas! Rest of the year, one perishes.

Are you for real? As if life ain’t hard enough, you wonder why people want fun and nice things in their lives?

The point is they don't make you happy.

Yes a perfect set of toe nails looks great. Therefore makes you feel great. But conversely if you don't , you feel worse. Maybe short changed in life if you haven't got £30 for a gel manicure " like everyone else.
If the expectation was a quick slick of varnish at home in the summer - no pressure

Yes richer people had nicer things but that was because they were richer. No one thought they were happier because they had designed stuff or whatever.

Maybe a lump of coal for the fire, but only at Christmas

Yes but the expectation was that it would be a fun adventure. Not that it was a dream holiday which would be perfect (because that's what we paid for ) Most holidays were dicey in one way or another.
I went on holiday as a teen with my mates in 1987 and every single year since. Cheap then and now. But so much more stress these days.
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I guess certain things have blurred where once things were a treat or luxury and now are part of every day life.
You can take it to an extreme, in our parents or grandparents generation an inside toilet or bathroom was a luxury. Central heating, a fridge, a washing machine etc. Now all of those (quite reasonably) are things we would consider basic.
Often on threads talking about millennial or gen X people bemoan them having a smart phone....when in reality that is a neccessity for most people.
Things like hair, nails, gym memberships, takeaways, meals out, going to the theatre etc are more nuanced....none necessities but nice to have, I guess the frequency or whether they're thought of as treats or regular things varies from person to person. I saw having a cleaner described as a necessity rather than a luxury , on MN once, but again I suppose that depends on income, id describe it as a luxury even though most people i know have a cleaner.

I really disagree that this is about a monk-like self-denial vs fun and joy.

There are lots of ways to have a pleasurable life without endless consumption.

Capitalism, in order to survive, needs to keep expanding. It can't ever stay still.

And that's what it's done - convinced us that there are things we need to buy in order to live a half-decent life.

It's just not true.

We don't need to go back to the 1970s and wringing out the washing in order to live on say half of what lots of us think is vital.

Plenty of toddlers could have a parent at home for the first vital couple of years if we did. We're also in absolute denial about what low quality industrial childcare is doing to babies and toddlers - to all of us, in fact.

We have lots of spare money but we’d never buy coffee when we’re out, buy clothes for fun (nothing worse than clothes shopping!), get deliveroo, go to Michelin star restaurants, do Alton towers etc. The things just don’t appeal. They give us no pleasure. Other people are different. It is easy to slip into bad spending habits.

I reccomend taking a month where you get petrol, pay bills and buy basic groceries and try to spend nothing else. Sandwiches and a thermos if out, take a packed lunch to work, go to free museums etc. It really helps show you what ‘treats’ you value and what money you just spend out of habit.

I kind of get what the OP means but life is just different now. Some tech like smart ones and broadband are essentials now. I watched this old bbc doc on youtube about the cost of living in the UK in 1969 and it was really a stark difference. Housing was so much cheaper but food was much more expensive and the lifestyles people had was very basic compared to today. Different times and expectations but I think it should be a good thing that ordinary people would expect a better standard of living.

I don't expect a luxury lifestyle, to be hitting the shops or eating out every week. I use the library, try to prioritise nice home cooked food and simple pleasures and save eating out for a special treat. Some simple pleasures can be expensive now as well the consumable costs for many hobbies are really expensive now. We had some nice green belt land locally we could get out for walks on without driving but they are building luxury villa's on it now.

I think you’re saying “you can see what she means though” - if so, absolutely. Hyper-consumerism is out of hand.

But to accept mere basics from full time work while businesses make mega profits from your hard labour? Are ya sure about that? 😬

If I had fun money I would like to “consume” books to keep, loads of plants and such for my garden, a Friday takeaway, lots of trips around the UK to see some history and stay in some new places, a comfortable sofa, quality clothes that are made to last years, things like that.

Everything functions better when you’re not stuck in survival mode. Relationships, your health, your cognitive function, everything.

I’d guess because 5, 10, 15 years ago we had more than we do now? Better services, nicer food, less worries, everything was cheaper and easier!

I’ve been very lucky and not had to massively worry about money (I’m quite simple really) but I’ve started to worry. As a household we earn the most money we ever have yet it’s shorter than ever before. There’s more to life than being glad I’ve paid every bill due and that’s it, can’t imagine anyone on their deathbed being thrilled that at least the bank and edf got paid…

Well said OP.

But to answer your question... Because capitalism.

Every single message we receive throughout our day in almost any context is that we must consume, therefore we exist. And people feel FOMO if they aren't consuming. This pressure is built inot advanced economies, but most prominent in the US and Britain. Every little thing you do costs money.

I come from a culture where a lot of things are free most of the time, e.g. parking, visiting nature, cultural experiences, and excessive consumption or wearing visibly branded items or driving a showy car is looked down upon. It's a much easier life.

In my 20s I had a lot of financial means and consumed a lot, especially in terms of excessive travel, experiences etc. Nothing really satisfied me, it felt almost like a hamster wheel of needing new stuff, new experiences, upgrades.

In my 30s I've put the money away into savings and assets and live a much simpler life, walks, coffees with friends at my place, exercising outside, reading in the sun... I'm a million times happier.

Consumption is very addictive, spending money is addicitive, and in the UK every little thing is heavily monetised, from the moment you open your eyes. It's very hard to step away and detach from that lifestyle, it's very normalised, and so people spend-spend-spend.

Just the way our society and social programming works.

With only bread and water at mealtimes.
Bread and dripping if you work extra hard!

I think the other driver of treats is more
freely available credit - I see people spend 5-10k on a holiday whilst I squirrel
away a grand in savings feeling poor by comparison. I ‘can’t afford’ the expensive holiday as I would never put a holiday on credit. I could if I chose to though. Person booking the holiday couldn’t make the choice to save 1k though - they don’t have cash they are servicing the interest on a credit card. That’s a hard loop to get out of.

This. The only thing I would say is that one car families, apart from in cities with excellent public transport, became impossible when women started to choose to, or have to, work, and the same for getting kids to school where school is not in walking distance (or like round here where the road to school is along a fast main road with no pavements). I know it sounds like old fart speak but when we moved into our first home, apart from the bed, the cooker and fridge and the three piece, it was all wedding gifts...oh and a dining table and chairs bought in the MFI sale. We had money for the odd pub visit or takeaway but no holidays for the first few years. TV was rented and mobile phones didn't exist. This is not some kind of "oh the past as paradise" spiel but I do think that expectations have changed a lot and for some people, this could be at least a part of the issue.

again...

define "normal" and "basic"?

I don't think people read what the op post is all about. This is not a starvation life, just normal basic life

And this is where literally there is no difference between their lifestyle and the lifestyle op describes, both cases cover their needs, just the richer never end consuming, changing stuff which literally is just stuff in rotation while the poorer go with the same but still go

You’ll be glad to hear my teens have never had any of that nonsense and I get my hair cut once a year and can’t be bothered with any make up etc and my husband thinks it’s a waste of money too.

Our money mainly goes on a range of outdoor sports that the whole family takes part in / competes in. Travel, kit, kids training camps, kids squad fees, entries etc easily come to £15,000 a year which we can afford. Sport is important to us and binds us together as a family and at an age when kids want to spend less time with their family, our kids want to spend more.

It’s a great way of living.

The point of the op. According to her if your pay is covering your basics, why do you moan for more