To wonder what people actually expect and why they can’t just be happy to live simply?

Yup late 50s here.

No heating on as a child at night then or now. My parents had 1 clapped out car my dad fixed every weekend. We have old cars that don’t need work and we bought outright thus never having the need for a car loan. 2 cars that run well seem a luxury to me but to some we’d be seen as scrimping. We never ate out as a child only in France on holiday. Eating out now is shite. Uber expensive shitty chain restaurants so we don’t eat out except occasionally somewhere really nice and worth it. We’re probably seen as scrimping again.

We have a stove top Bialetti and good quality coffee at home that seems heaps better than most you can buy out. Seems a luxury to me buying expensive ground coffee but to many not buying crappy Costa or Starbucks is scrimping. I make better cakes than most I know with nice ingredients which I feel fortunate to be able to buy. Many would think we’re scrimping not buying cake out….

The mindset now as to what is necessary and hardship is bonkers.

I’m happy out for a nice walk with the dogs. I don’t do holidays or weekends away or flashy cars.
Some people get their enjoyment from those things though so each to their own.

This!

After feeding , heating and clothing your family
which we take for granted compared to many around the world there is contentment in paying off a mortgage instead of building debt on crap you don’t need, re using, hobbies, building a garden and home on little , enjoying the outdoors, cooking together, watching tv together, playing games, reading, walking, mindfulness …..

If we can feed, heat and clothing our families we’re pretty rich. Appreciating what you have and the simple pleasures of life instead of feeling you need expensive crap and experiences to enjoy life is the secret to true happiness.

But the question is: What is considered to be 'surviving' now? So many posts a couple of years ago when fuel costs shot up along the lines of 'I refuse to be cold' and 'I refuse to allow my children to freeze' and posts about the heating being used overnight. As a child of the 60s, when heating was absolutely a luxury, the idea of overnight heating is a ridiculous notion to me. Yet it's seemingly a commonplace thing to do now. Is heating your home overnight 'just surviving'? Is running a massive SUV because it;'s safer than a smaller car 'just surviving'? I don't know.
People my age get ridiculed on here, but it's difficult to wrap your head around things like these being considered the absolute norm, when to my generation they are still luxuries.

Because people are working harder and for longer and have less. Life shouldn’t be about working and existing, people who work hard should be able to everything you’ve listed and still be able to have a little fun, the fact that households with 2 working parents and two children can’t afford to get to the end of the month never mind afford a caravan holiday once a year is an outrageous reflection of the state of the current cost of living. My father worked in a factory and my mother a very part time civil servant we went an aboard holiday every single year, we didn’t live extravagantly but we certainly didn’t struggle or go without, my parents were able to save each month and pay their mortgage off early and now at retirement age they are very financially secure, that’s a pipe dream for most households now. We SHOULD be concerned about that.

A lot of it is jealously and envy and attention seeking, very sadly. It seems huge numbers of people are obsessed with what other people have and what other people do. People aren't happy just to "be what they are" and seem to have lost ability to make the best of things. I think the "sleb" culture and social media influencers have a lot to answer for!

The truth is that we can't all have the luxury "perfect" lifestyle, whether it's family, social, financial, possessions, sex-life, etc., and compromises have to be made.

Because if it’s pouring down I don’t want to trudge around a park in the rain.

I work long hours, as does my DH and it nice to spend the weekends doing something with a treat.
Life shouldn’t be a drudgery - especially when you work hard otherwise what’s the point?

Also who are all these toddlers that can stay home?! We don’t do screen time so I can see how that might be a cheap option.

7am - 9am wake up, leisurely breakfast, play with toys.
9am - 11:30am - go to the park, grab a coffee, maybe the supermarket.

11:30am - 2pm home and nap
2pm - 6pm, we might play for a bit a home, or see family, but otherwise yes it’s nice to spend some money and go swimming, soft play, a little petting zoo. How else are people filling those 4 hours?!
6pm - 8pm dinner and bedtime.

What a miserable existence that would be. The only thing that motivates me to work is having the fun money and experiences I can get by selling that great chunk of my life each week.
I wouldnt actually see the point in living my life if all I done was work pay bills and put food on the table. No thanks. Holidays = motivation

I get joy from crochet. I can't crochet fresh air so I need to buy yarn. I dislike rampant consumerism as much as the next person, but there are limits.

Are we being primed for our future lives under this social credit system whereby we just exist in small apartments we're not permitted to leave?

Your toddler doesn’t need entertaining or soft play. This is why kids struggle more in school these days. Since time began toddlers have entertained themselves. Not now , apparantly they can’t survive without soft play, iPads and other expensive entertainment. I had 3 under two. A pile of play dough, saucepans and spoons, a sand pit, Duplo, a basket of books, cosy coupe in the garden,Brio on rotation was all that was needed for them to entertain themselves. Rainy days are the perfect time to jump in puddles. There is no need for soft play which is a truly vile experience for anybody doing it.

Do you work for the Treasury OP?

My utilities are going up another 18 pounds a month end of this month. Food isn’t getting any cheaper now and everything is so expensive. No wonder people feel hard done by and if you can’t have the odd treat due to cost it is a miserable experience.
Holidays are a luxury. They used to be affordable.
It’s certainly grim and how families with little ones manage I’ve no idea.

It's not wrong to want it, but it seems like the waste of a life to be perpetually miserable because one cannot afford what others have.

Joyfulness comes from inside, not from stuff you can buy.

Books and hit chocolate aren’t.
Libraries are free and you can make nice coffee and hot chocolate at home often nicer than out.

Holiday trips do seem to be the norm now. It wasn't like that at all when I was growing up.

Why do they?

Is that an expectation you set up?

My children (on the whole) played with their toys at home and if going out it was to a park which didn't involve cake and coffee (or any form of soft play)
Going Out Out was an occasional treat

But similar things are living.

Well, my parents back in the 60's/70's had a very modest income but we still had pleasant, simple UK holidays (not in caravans!), were given modest, thoughtful presents and occasionally slightly splurgy ones, had our eyes opened up to inexpensive delights like (ahem) art galleries and stately homes and the amazing stuff you could check out of the library and beautiful walks through beautiful country and even got to have fish and chips from time to time! And were never told that we were not to expect that life might hold some pleasures for us.

I worked hard to get an education and what I thought would be a decent career to live a nice lifestyle, if I wanted to just exist, I wouldn't have bothered investing my time, energy and money in trying to better myself. Although I enjoy my job I work to live and have a nice life, that involves nice holidays and fun activities. It'd be a pretty sad life if all I did was work to pay the mortgage and sit in my house thinking wow we have enough money to eat. I want to live my life, not merely exist.

OP has clearly missed the point that life should involve 'living', not just surviving.

God forbid we try to enjoy this life that is so full of hatred and worry.

This ^

Humans aren't meant to be compliant little units of taxation. Even the people in the middle ages used to have fun and humans have made things and played musical instruments since their time began.

Ah sorry! Thought I tagged the OP

I agree with this, but in this economy, I think even a dog, a book and a hot chocolate is a luxury for some people, although it shouldn’t be!