To wonder what people actually expect and why they can’t just be happy to live simply?

So I can.pay for DDs hobby and we can have some occasional long weekends camping and once a year a cheap last minute overseas.

But you are judging others for holidays 🤔

I am 53 and it happened in my lifetime. When I was a child, holidays abroad were a really unusual, if people did go on holiday it was a camping. Life’s pleasures were a visit to the beach, long walks in the countryside and a run out in the car.

I think things changed in the 1980’s when credit cards became more available.

I’ve returned to that life again in recent years, haven't been abroad since 2019 and love nothing more than a long dog walk in the countryside.

I'm not broke or whining. You say you're happy with a simple life, yet your posts radiate contempt for other people's choices and the mere idea that they might want more than a basic existence. Guess what - some people will always have more than others and that's life. You can moan all day about big cars and phones and all the stuff you think they're 'wasting' their resources and it won't make one blind bit of difference. You're not happy with your lot, you are as bitter as it gets.

Parent shouldn’t be entertaining their kids. In the 70s we entertained ourselves with next to no tv, no phones and far less toys.

We never had the money to entertain our kids 20 odd years ago and had to find enjoyment with what we could afford. If you don’t build that skill you’ll never be happy .

@Enigma54

this too.

This summer I went to several concerts and operas.

People have been to musical performances for decades, again it's not a new thing.

The person working 40 hours on minimum wage is probably not buying a car at all let alone paying for parking.

Well OP, I’ve studied, worked, had DC and I’m not cash rich ( or asset rich) Bills are paid, home is owned and there’s little left at the end of the month. I’ve now been struck with cancer and can’t work. I’m sure as fuck, going to have a take away coffee or a take away if I want. Life is shit enough as it is. I’m not about to start making it even shitter, by just existing!

The only people pretending that money doesn't matter either are blind to the amount they actually have, or trying to kid themselves.

Indeed

@Bra848tofjn I don't know anyone that renovates rooms just because it buys a new sofa or toaster every 2 years. And I live in a relatively well off neighbourhood.

The only neighbour who changes their care regularly are 2 older men.

But that’s the whole point. People have inflated what pleasures in life need to be.

I think not having the freedom to enjoy yourself is what contributes to poor mental health.

You just have to read the threads about people stuck in bad relationships, with neighbours from hell, feeling guilty as hell because they can't do anything in the summer when all their friends entertain the kids for at least several weeks.

Who has self-esteem issues? The ones who joyfully tell you they can't afford to go to do this or that (when they physically could because they have the money in the bank but think it's too much for their own budget)
or the ones who are having anxiety about their situation and that people judge?

The only people pretending that money doesn't matter either are blind to the amount they actually have, or trying to kid themselves.

I kind of do know what you mean OP.

Someone I know is getting married soon and they're plans have included 3 different types of cake, 6/7 bridesmaids (I've lost count), a wall of flowers and so on. Every time something new is added I can't help wondering how much of it is just for Instagram and why they couldn't be happy with a normal wedding and party that they could actually afford.

Honestly, I think some people on here just enjoy self-restriction.

usually they advocate it for others but not themselves

But you’ll be spending money on other things- phones, iPads, nails( everybody suddenly thinks are a necessity), tablets for children, ring door bells, take aways, renovating rooms completely just because…. The list goes on and on.

I work and need something nice to look forward too. Without the pleasures in life it’s just work and work and work

There's nothing wrong with enjoying expensive things.

The point is you can also enjoy things that aren't expensive.

I do believe in the value of simple living; as in not getting sucked into mindless consumption, enjoying simple pleasures etc. The emphasis is on the pleasure and joy that this kind of life can give you. What you describe though, sounds more like barely existing to me.

The bloody Victorians enjoyed a circus, how entitled!

No need for childcare now. Those were difficult years. But a relatively short term problem.

I would have loved more children, but valued a quality of life for DD and myself.

But who actually does that? Also the economy would be well and truly stuffed if people didn't buy things.

OK - so my luxuries and indulgences are quite pricey because I can afford them. This summer I went to several concerts and operas. That provides jobs for people backstage, in the bars and box offices etc all year round. It also provides income for freelance musicians when the government aren't going to. My main hobby is an amateur choir - that costs about £350 a year when subs and music costs are tallied. That pays a reliable income stream to a professional conductor and accompanist - in an industry where a reliable income stream is like gold dust (especially as music lessons for children are being cut in the CoL crisis). It also provides an income stream to a church for hall hire the same hall is used to run a free mother & toddler group. Music is ordered from a UK music shop that has real people working for it paying taxes etc. I bought a new tote bag - I didn't need it but I wanted one. I bought it from a small company which has 6 employees and manufactures all their products in Kent - that is supporting a local business that puts money in the tax system and the salaries it pays put money into its local economy.

Wanting nice things and nice experiences isn't wrong.

Because we both work fucking hard all bloody week and would like to be able to afford to get a pizza on a Friday night or go to the pictures at the weekend!

I work 18 hours a day down a mine.

I get child benefit, about £80 per month.

Not sure what point you are making?

Also DD goes to state school.and we both rely on the NHS.

OTOH I have at times been a child free higher rate taxpayer, if you are going down the 'benefit scrounger' route.