To wonder what people actually expect and why they can’t just be happy to live simply?

YOU never had days out if you say so.

I assure you my parents did! More than I offer my kids even. Of course people had days out in the 70s. It was probably nicer, less crowded 😂

Its my point - we need to enjoy life and we always have - we have archaeological evidence that they enjoyed making music in the stoneage.

To be fair, many of us always have contracts, and never pay for their phone upfront, but I am sure my iphone wouldn't be cheap if I was just buying the handset.

(Not as great as Samsung) but I am big fan of my camera, I am on whatsapp all the time, and my apps are great. It's nearly a necessity now, I'd be lost without my smartphone, it's so many things on one small device, totally worth it.

I don't think "dickhead" is a fair description, we have modern and useful device available, why not use them? My laptop is expensive too. I could go to the library to use their computer instead but that would be very miserable.

They don’t need £100 days out. We never had days out in the 70s or 80s. Why do teens need entertaining now, they’re on their phones 24/7! Why can’t they live with being bored for any length of time?

Well the cost of choir isn't expensive averaged over the year but the operas are expensive because it is expensive to stage - the point is that a balance needs to be struck and I'd rather strike it by doing things I like in a way that supports the UK economy. Not supporting the arts when the government is too short sighted to do so short changes everyone, not least because the arts is the second biggest contributor to the UK economy after financal services.

what "smaller things"?
WHY would I want to restrict my world? I am young(ish) enough, healthy enough? Why should I try to deny what other people would kill for, and not use them.

I am not trying to brainwash myself to pretend I can be content with nothing, that's bullshit.

As an example, I run, a lot. That's one of my things. I enjoy it a hell of lot more because of money, sorry. I can afford decent trainers (they are not cheap and they do make a difference), decent headphones (i enjoy the music), decent physio (regular massage to keep injury and pain free), freedom to join any race/ event because I can afford the fee, and if needed the hotel and travel there. Expensive facial treatments to remove the "runner look" from my face helps too.😂

I have no budget for my hobby, I am not trying to show off in anyway - it's England, I am mainly covered in mud anyway, but not having to put a cost on what is a simple activity makes an enormous difference.

Give them some books or let them out in the park or garden, let them use their imaginations to entertain themselves. The kids will be just fine.
again, worked super well during the lockdown...
And I have a family of readers! It's not even a chore to go through kilos of books every week, but come on.

My kids are just as worthy of the royals, or the super-rich, They don't have access to everything, obviously, but if other people can enjoy extra, why can't they! (to a point, again obviously)

@Bra848tofjn nope, is this a revelation to you?

who the fuck is walking about with a grands worth of phone? Only dickheads

It's all about expectations and realistic planning.

I don't think there is a God given right to be happy. I think you really have to work at being happy.

I don't think having "fun money" would make me happy, although certainly not having enough to feed, clothe and educate my child would make me very unhappy.

If you are the type who does need "fun money" to be happy, then prioritise accordingly - having fewer kids is the primary adjustment. I only had one child because I wasn't sure I would have enough money for a second and I had no support - so I cut my cloth etc.

What do you mean health and safety and safeguarding is a thing now. Did parents not safeguard their kids 60,40,30 or 20 years ago?

Oh I’m very happy,

It's not landing

But they do.Nearly everybody is walking round with a grands worth of phone, driving increasingly expensive cars whilst needing more and more as the basics,living longer and unhealthier ( at the expense of the tax by payer)…..

why is the taxpayer funding phones & cars?

I would be far happier to live even more simply than I do if light, peace and calm were less expensive. I don’t want a sodding new toaster, I want to live in a place where the walls are thick enough that I can’t hear my neighbours tv; where I get natural light; where I can wake naturally at weekends instead of being woken by banging about in the street; where I can’t smell weed smoke and there isn’t rubbish and broken fridges in the verges. As I can’t afford this I am self medicating with food, booze and days out. “Simplicity” costs a lot - it costs enough to buy a detached house in a calm area.

Oh I’m very happy, I don’t need endless crap and expense to make me happy so why wouldn’t I be. I’ve nearly paid off my mortgage and will be ok in retirement, enjoy good health ( I’m aware that can change)and I live in a safe country. Being a bit broke when the kids were younger and paying a mortgage instead of going abroad every year or having a nice kitchen or bathroom was worth it. Why wouldn’t I be happy? I’m just not happy with what people class as basic now or the whining re not having money left over when money is very much being spent beyond the basics but the “ basics”seem to be endlessly growing. It’s worrying as it can only cause poor MH.

Yes but are you replacing your kitchen every two years, driving a new SUV and upgrading your iphone everytime a new model comes out - the PP I was replying to says everyone is doing that and I disagree.

Parent shouldn’t be entertaining their kids. In the 70s we entertained ourselves with next to no tv, no phones and far less toys.

phones didn't exist so no surprise there. Health & safety & safeguarding is a thing now

We’ve lost our community. We’ve lost our support systems. Any friggin Joy that we used to get out of just being together has been eroded by being told to get on your bike and start looking for jobs outside of your immediate ecosystem.
So now when we’ve got no jobs, or compensation financially for doing so, we’ve got nothing

I think the point is most people can’t cover their bills or can only cover their bills at the moment so that naturally wants you want more. I do agree that we don’t need probably 80% of what is in the shops, and defo 90% of what we are influenced to buy on social media. But experiences with our children are unforgettable memories and that doesn’t need to be an exotic holiday but I can’t take my two teens on a day trip now for any less that £100 and that’s conservative being very conservative.

for your own sanity, spending money to entertain the toddler is a blessing.
I can't imagine anything worst than having to entertain said toddler with nothing but my imagination and nothing else 😂

They aren't though - this is just "feels" - if you did the maths a teacher and nurse with 2 preschool children in the south of England are basically stuffed. Certainly no money for a flashy car or the latest iphone.

I think things changed in the 1980’s when credit cards became more available.

No it would be the introduction of the package holiday and cheap air line carriers eg Ryanair. I used to fly around Europe in the 90s for £25 a ticket.

I live in a deprived area and the poverty is almost palpable. We have a community kitchen at the local church and one of the women who runs it was at a local community consultation event that I attended, She said that pre cost of living crisis they were feeding about 50 people at the weekly free lunch, these days it is around 150 and they have to do 3 sittings. The food bank now has permanent premises, a real sign of the times and the queue stretches down the pavement. Loads of the houses that used to be bought by first time buyers are now only bought by landlords who turn them into unofficial HMOs and do not repair and mantain them. There is a school on my street and when I see the little ones trotting off to lessons with their bright eyes I just hope that things improve before they are adults. We all need treats and things that enrich our lives.

Toddlers cost nothing to entertain though. It's older children with hobbies and expensive clothing tastes that are expensive.

I think not having the freedom to enjoy yourself is what contributes to poor mental health.

And if you change your expectations about what "enjoying yourself" means, and find pleasure in smaller simple things, you'll have a LOT more freedom to enjoy yourself.

feeling guilty as hell because they can't do anything in the summer when all their friends entertain the kids for at least several weeks

Again, they shouldn't be feeling guilty because kids shouldn't need entertaining for several weeks! Give them some books or let them out in the park or garden, let them use their imaginations to entertain themselves. The kids will be just fine.

or maybe different taste and interest?

I find no pleasure at all in staying home pottering around. I am grateful we have essentials and no bombs falling on my head, but I don't find being home remotely interesting in itself. I know what my home looks like, I made it perfect for me, it's well pretty 😂but it's nothing else than a base.