To wonder what people actually expect and why they can’t just be happy to live simply?

Now it's, eyebrows, skincare, hair, nails all outsourced to professionals. Clothes, expensive food/ cocktails and venues

I disagree - most young people I know do not get their skin care done by professionals and my DM went to the hairdresser far more often than I or my DDs do - most YPs seem to buy their clothes on vinted for next to nothing (and then resell them) and look for deals like tgi Friday for drinks. Most will have "pre s" at home before going out and can make one drink last a very long time. My YPs also look for clubs with offers on (eg women get in free before midnight) which then halves the cost for a mixed group as they subsidize the boys. They're also very savvy at using their "expensive tech" (aka their Dads hand me down iphone) to research deals - eg last time DD2 went to the hairdresser it was a £30 deal on a cut colour and blow dry with a supervised trainee in a v swish salon.

Fun nights out with friends has been a thing since civilisation began. My point was it used to be part of a normal working week,putting on you favourite going out outfit, drinks and whatever else. Fun. Good

Now it's, eyebrows, skincare, hair, nails all outsourced to professionals. Clothes, expensive food/ cocktails and venues. Of course " you don't have to". However you are less likely to feel good about yourself if everyone else in your group looks 10 years younger and is dressed in something current.

I was chatting with a young lad at a bus stop (not in a weird way - I could be his grandma!) he was about 12 and credit to him had made money by washing cars. When I was 12 I’d have saved it, or bought a record (vinyl). He was going to buy a winter scent/ male after shave at around £100. He’s 12!!! Expectations really have changed

um no....unless she is personally an heiress, its her parents who are paying for it

Like others have said, why should we live simply? We work hard and like to save money to enjoy things. We always do 3 festivals a year, one main holiday and a few long weekends away. Working without those things to look forward to would awful.

@R0ckandHardPlace ah , as per the post I’ve just made, it’s something I’ve seen far more ‘up north’ and in the midlands and wales- and also some less well off places ‘down south’ - the love island look just isn’t a thing as much down here I feel

@twistyizzy it’s an interesting point - we have university open day here today at Bath Uni and it’s always mainly well spoken ‘middle class ‘ girls - and of the academic kind and anyone with lashes/spray tans and short dresses would stand out a mile. I’m not judging - just saying that’s how it is - the girls I’m seeing around are mainly trousers/trainers/bit of make up/athletic types.

even in town here generally when we do get hen nights in with the tans/lashes/eyebrows look, they more often than not come from south wales

i just think it’s ’a Look’ in some areas but def not in others. I don’t see it much in London either from people who live there. In fact ‘dressing up’ and a non natural look in general (apart from a dressy ‘event ) seems very ‘out’ in many well heeled areas

I think there is also an issue with the "boomerang" generation feeling infantilised and ashamed by not being able to afford to get themselves on the property ladder. Phrases like "kiddult" probably feed into that. I imagine that they compensate for the inadequacy by buying other status things like cars etc.

I’m in Liverpool, like @Ohtheplacesand I agree that it’s very much the norm. My DD was having her brows/nail/lashes done from when she was about 14, and her lips filled from 18. She and her friends buy a new outfit for every single night out (which are frequent). I absolutely despair of it. She spends well over £1000 a month on socialising, clothes and beautifying. This is the generation who can’t afford to save for a house deposit. I’m just hoping that she grows out of it.

I have a niece who spends a fortune on beauty products and cosmetics far in excess of anything I would or could ever pay. She’s 10 years old!

Yes it all depends on what value the parents put on those things. Some people place high value on appearance or material things, others don't.
I would never pay for DD to get eyelashes etc because I think they are waste of money.

Yes, maybe not ‘all’, it will depend on where you live (I’m in the Liverpool area ;-)) and how robust a character your own child is. I was also meaning younger female not just kids. My point is that if you walked down a street in 1980 you would not see the fake eyelashes, fake tans, cosmetic fixes etc etc that exist today - were there 80s equivalents? Yes, maybe but I think I would argue that the dial has very much moved on beauty standards to make them the norm and achieving those standards is £££ compared to 1980. Ditto the expectations around outings, activities, holidays etc etc.

Late to the party of this thread!

I do think this is all a bit “why do the peasants need to do anything apart from work?”

Obviously people want nice things in their lives.

Lots of pps have set out some very good theories as to why a lot of people are unrealistic these days. But I do think we should be aiming as a society for people to be able to be something other than drones.

Er not "all the girls" want eyelashes/nails/tans etc. Mine doesn't, her friends don't! They are teens.

Well, first I am very aware that each generation think the previous one is lacking and that they had it harder! I think the key factor is that many things have become the norm. All the girls have false eyelashes, nails done, brows done etc etc The dial on what is normal and natural to look like has moved Even if you aren’t keen on these things you want to fit in; that’s normal too. It’s horrible to have to be the one dropping out of activities and events or ever being included as you just don’t fit. I heard a colleague say their daughter was 11 and it gets expensive because they ‘need’ nails done every, I dunno what is 4 weeks, five?? So yes, parents drive this too. I am often glad I don’t have a girl wanting funds for all these things plus they would have probably disowned their crazy looking mum by now, where as my son doesn’t seem to care (yet).

Totally agree
They have gone from zero to luxury without any personal input at a very young age. What is driving their need. Is it peer group pressure, advertising, doting parents possibly all of those.

It’s taken my twenty something son years to save for a deposit for a place. He is hoping to buy a one bed flat , but that isn’t going to be easy ( we are in the south east, so not mega cheap to buy anything ) and on his own too , but it is hard for that generation even with two incomes or some family help or money.
Not impossible, just much harder.

Even living simply is harder now.

Being at home can be unenjoyable when you are overcrowded and cannot get away from all the noise and housework that needs doing.

Sitting in a garden is nice, as long as you have a garden to sit in.

Dog walks are great as long as you can afford a dog and can get somewhere nice to have a walk. Miles of rubbish filled pavements with no greenery is somewhat less attractive to walk along, with or without a dog.

Cooking is great unless you have a tiny cramped kitchen and cannot afford the ingredients and pans.

Beer and the cinema appear to have been much more affordable in the past.

Why say bizarre? Why can't they have a different outlook from you?

Because life for me would be absolutely shite if I didn’t get away 4 times a year!
it’s the only reason why I work!!

Brilliant post
The issue is that stuff doesnt lead to true self actualisation, it's all smoke and mirrors.
It's the appearance of wealth, success, doing well through climbing the ladder, hard work but without actually achieving that or having a stable financial life.

It's debt or as the young call it credit.
They actually believe what is available to them is theirs to spend .

‘I think a lot of young people basically despair of getting on the property ladder, have no security in the rental market and look to other things - especially holidays and experiences out of the house to compensate for the shitness of their living situation’ @Londonmummy66 I kind of agree with a couple of caveats; first, young people becoming adults now have known nothing but rising consumerism, it’s a norm to them and giving it up isn’t easy. Second, their living situation isn’t always shitty, it’s very comfortable and easy for many to stay at a parents. But yes I agree, ‘wants’ are affordable and ‘needs’ are less so.

@carchi This isn’t Maslow’s hierarchy (fulfill the basic needs then take care of higher order needs), or rather it’s an inversion of that; putting self actualisation ahead of basic needs. I guess there have always been people who do this (‘all fur coat and no knickers’) but it seems common place now.

Appreciate this isn’t everyone but in my street there are several ‘kidults’ driving expensive cars, spending £££ on clothes, nails, make up, holidays, hen nights etc and living in annexes/rooms with en-suites where their boyfriends and friends come and go as though it were their own place; they want to carry on with that lifestyle whilst also paying a mortgage. Giving those things up would be a loss to them and at the same time wouldn’t yield enough for a deposit on a place that would suit them, so they stay put.

So youbwere from a well off family then. The average people didn't do all this paid stuff in 70/80s when I was a child

@Londonmummy66 I totally agree about this - and it’s not just young people - we are 63 and 61 and aren’t going to be buying ‘unless’ we inherit - various reasons for this including a failed business at one point - we do earn well, just can’t get mortgages at our age unless we have 50% deposit etc. so yes, we do have holidays, eat well, go to gigs etc - as other things in life are less secure -

There is actually a diagram where is shows how MHN and unmet needs in childhood impact children, particularly in ND .
It literally destroys their life chances

I was watching a show on channel 4 where older people are teamed up with younger folk ( can’t remember its title ) and it was set in Japan.
The older ones seem more content and confident and had good jobs previously, but the younger ones didn’t have such good jobs , working really hard no doubt , but maybe not as many prospects as the older ones may have had historically. It struck me how becoming the service industry over the years , rather than manufacturing or engineering hasn’t added much to people’s expectations to earn more money and progress. I’m sure that many will, but it feels a pretty closed book for many to be able to afford to buy a house or to increase their salaries. Even those with degrees are saddled with debt and the work place is just so toxic too. Being young ( for many) is much harder these days I think ( in my opinion anyway )