To feel slightly miffed about paying for a dress now?

She shouldn't be asking you to pay for anything wedding related that she has decided on. It's such poor etiquette and made even worse by the fact it is a destination wedding that you can't really afford to attend. I'd either pull out entirely or I'd tell her what she is asking you to pay on top of travel is too much. If she was a close friend who knew you well and valued your friendship she wouldn't put you in such an awkward position to start with. She should be embarrassed.

I think you should go on the trip. You seem to really be looking forward to it and feel you are able to comfortably repay the money but I really think you’re better off attending as a guest. This sounds like it could get pretty costly for you and whilst a £250 dress is a big ask, in terms of an overseas wedding an unexpected £250 is something that could easily come up and if the price of the dress is causing you this much stress now then best you just keep things simple for yourself.

You’ve organised flights, accommodation sorted, attend as a guest, buy a cheap dress you can afford, wear some heels and a bag you already own and pack holiday clothes you already have.

‘ I’m sorry, but I’ve been unable to find a nice enough dress that I can afford, so perhaps it’d be best if you find another bridesmaid, and I’ll just come as a guest.’

Bridesmaids are not a thing in Indian weddings. Have a look on Vinted if you want something that looks high end but fraction of the price. You could also put back on Vinted if you are unlikely to wear again.

Also ask your friend if you can borrow something Indian style from her given you are close friends if you are similar sizes.

OP, I know your friend said it was OK to buy a cheaper dress but I would send her photos of the one you choose just in case. Indian weddings are a very serious business and extravagant with a capital E. You really don't want to be embarrassed when you get there. Personally I wouldn't be going at all in case there's any backlash about your choice of clothing. And also, bear in mind, the expense really won't just stop there.

I wouldn’t put anything it on a credit card, perhaps you should have just old her that you won’t be going.

The OP came to ask if a Bride asking a Bridesmaid to spend 250 on a bridesmaid dress is acceptable, she didn't come on to give a spreadsheet of her finances, can't believe people are going back through old posts to catch her out on money previous issues.
Hope you find a dress OP the link the PP posted looks great and very reasonable prices.
If you go to the Style and Beauty board I'm sure you'd get loads of help picking a dress, people are definitely more helpful there.

I do agree that a holiday is worth it, I said that earlier,

but to answer your question, no, I don't put holidays on credit cards. House (mortgage), car (loan) possibly, and at worst emergency building work are the only thing I would go into debt for.

I am more into "saving first, spending later".

Is hiring a dress an option?

Have you looked on Vinted or marketplace? You might find something suitable.

But she’s very unreasonable expecting bridesmaids to pay £250 for an outfit they will likely never wear again and will struggle to sell on top of travelling all the way to Thailand. Just tell her £250 is too expensive. Surely she can find cheaper dresses in India.

This 💯

You could be up front and say, you hate being awkward, but being totally honest had assumed the bridesmaid's dress was included. See if she backtracks herself or opens up, maybe costs escalated and she's got herself in a pickle.
You could also take the opportunity to confirm there are no other costs coming your way or you will have to re-consider.
I personally - even on a low income - would take the hit (£80-£250, whatever) for the sake of the friendship. Weddings do CRAZY things to people and all sorts of great friendships are broken by them totally unnecessarily.

Those going on about whether you can afford it or not - people on low incomes can go on trips and spend money how they like!! Millions of people spend money 'unwisely' all the time, it just depends what you can justify to yourself. Every time you have a takeaway, a glass of wine, take a taxi, these are options you have to avoid spending. But even on a low income you can find ways to enjoy yourself - don't spend on A, B and C and you can spend on D. It's not rocket science.

But OP, get yourself an interest free credit card for next time, there's plenty about and it's silly spending on interest when you don't have to.
I got one a couple of years ago and it's really helped, then when the time expired (I'd already paid it all off), I cancelled it and got another. I plan its use carefully so that I consider it like a proper obligation, a real debt to clear - how much I'm going to pay back over what period, and do it. Eg I got myself an £800 laptop, and paid it off over 4 months. Credit cards also offer good protection on big spend items.

You're obviously new here then lol

@confusedlady10 I don't know what style of dress it is, but I use this website. I'm not Indian but have been to a good few Indian weddings (admittedly not as a bridesmaid) and I got some lovely things from here https://www.rupalionline.com/shop/women-fashion/churidar-salwar-trouser-suits

Could you hire something suitable? Or do they resell well on Vinted or similar so you could get something back against the initial outlay? I do agree with others that the sensible thing to do is actually discuss with her the fact that this whole wedding is a bit beyond you financially. If she kicks off then what sort of a friend actually is she? I'd never dream of dragging friends halfway round the world at their own expense for my big day but that's just me...

that's not what people are saying to be fair.

But spending money you don't have, and having to put a holiday on a credit card and pay interests on top is not the wisest move.

it doesn't matter what your income is, if you can't afford something, you can't afford it.

those on a low income don't deserve to treat
it's not about deserving, why do you say that? Most of us can't afford the ultra-luxurious holidays taken by Will and Kate, not because we don't deserve them, but because we simply don't earn enough.

I would say you need to step back from the bridesmaid role and see what she says. She may offer to pay part or whole of it. I do find it unusual to make a bridesmaid pay for their dress.

Just a note about the credit card, if you’ve now been paying it for a while your credit score may have changed and suitability for other card offers may have changed so you might now be able to switch to a card with a better or 0% interest rate.

on that basis, none of us should go to the hairdresser, on days out, buy anything that's not a basic as long as we have a mortgage.

A fabulous holidays is not a waste of money, as long as you keep reasonable expectations and don't get too disappointed because you were unrealistic.

I would still rather save towards than pay back if I was the OP.