Partner’s son smashed telly again and DP says it’s my fault???

yeah he’s the dad to both my kids the baby and my eldest so it’s not that simple to just tell him to get out even though I know you’re all right

It is that simple.

Your kids deserve to grow up in a violence free house - because, at the moment, they live in a house where their half-brother is violent. That's not acceptable.

I don’t understand posts like this. Is it a lack of real world experience or such high levels of privalege you actually think just kicking him out is an option. Thay she can afford to pay for the home and her share of the kids costs, as well as herself, by herself, she can just kick him out, and pay for it all herself, other than whatever child maintenance she is owed? They don’t even appear married, I’m not sure she works. She’s not even said if they own their home, rent it, whose name it’s in. But yeah, just kick him out then get your arse up the money tree.

You know that is not acceptable, terrible parenting. It sounds like you are not married. Who owns the property? If you, kick them out and change the locks. If it is your partner's home, find a basic rental until you get back on your feet.

Do not put up with this. The immediate upheaval will be destabilising but ultimately so rewarding
Be brave and take the next step

Your DP is an abusive bully, so no wonder his son is like he is. They’re cut from the same cloth. I completely understand that feeling of walking on eggshells and like you’re on edge all the time. None of this is your fault You’re being abused in your own home - and with young children present too.

You’d be much happier without your DP and his son. You’d don’t have to stay with him just because he’s the father of your children. There’s a way out.

The ops husband condones this behaviour, this has nothing to do with how the op spoke to the boy.

God the things some people put up with. Incredible. Why??!??! You have choices! Don't let this prick ruin your life.

This. It’s like a thread a day about women being so desperate that they will put up with any loser to not be on their own. Guarantee he is as pathetic in every other way

So he's kind of blaming you for it, great.. Teens can be like that when you try to interrupt computer time. It's not Fortnite he's playing is it? It's absolutely not your fault and I wouldn't panic either. If I'm being honest, a TV was broken in our house too a few years ago during a run in with my 13 year old son over computer time. It hasn't happened again thankfully. I have to admit though, I did give up after awhile and now I allow him eat dinner in his room.. He's doing great in school (it's what I've been consoling myself with) so hopefully it won't affect him. I would talk to him when he's relaxed a bit or at the weekend. You might get through to him better then. Tell him it's hard for you with the baby and you would appreciate his help in this. Arrange a time for tea well in advance. His dad on the other hand should be supporting you and helping you in this! Talk to him too at a good time about needing his support with this

This is not a healthy environment for you of the younger children. Seriously, please consider ending this relationship if he condones violence from his son. At least could he be there when the son is there. Son shouldn't just be there with you and 2 young children if unable to control his temper.

Do you have any family? Can you go somewhere else? You should not put up with this as it is damaging to your children never mind you. No wonder his son is as he is. Your two will be the same if you don't dump him. Better to suffer alone now than regret in the future. Its also not just YOUR future. Please try to get rid of him.

Well he has told you that he is on his son's side, and that he will always be on his son's side and blame you.

So you don't stand a chance.

And your kids will grow up seeing him side with his violent and destructive son against you - really really not good.

I do actually have some feelings around the difficulty for first-family children seeing their parent become full time Dad or Mum to younger babies while they get batted between houses etc. I think it is much harder on children than adults all boosted up in their new relationship often realise or admit - or care about.

But your DH can't help his Ds navigate this by ignoring aggressive and destructive behaviour. Or help the relationship develop by letting his Ds know that he will never take him to task for being aggressive and rude towards you.

So unless you can get your DH to see all this, there isn't really a rosy future, as far as I can see.

Agree.

You have a baby and another young one? Please don't stay in this environment. His son throws a controller at the TV and it's your fault. He has anger management issues. The dad needs to step up and parent his son. Or kick them both out.

This is so close to “if you hadn’t wound me up I wouldn’t have smashed up the house/ got blind drunk/ hit you/ stopped seeing the kids/ called you abusive names”

And he’s just passing this on to his son.

If separating isn’t an option you want, changes need to happen. His son is only allowed in the home when his Dad is there to look after him. What is his behaviour towards his Mum? Is she at risk from him?

Ditch this utter cretin and his son. Seriously you are being abused by him and his son. You must get rid of him. He is not fit to be a partner or father. Awful vile creature he is.

Sell the xbox to cover the cost of the TV.

This. You’re being taken for a mug.

If you are incapable of parenting his child; tell him he can bloody well do it himself; of your DP is not there then his child cannot be either, as you can't be trusted.

don’t even know what to do next he’s not answered my texts all day and I can’t stop shaking
feel like I’m losing my mind lately honestly don’t even know anymore

this alone is a sign you’re in an unhealthy relationship

Get rid of the pair of them, you don't need them.

Who owns the house or is it rented? Honestly I’d tell him never to come back.

I wouldn't get another tv, if he breaking them...he might play his Xbox somewhere else. Young ones can watch cartoons on a laptop in the meantime.

Get rid of them both.

When he had calmed down you need a further conversation. He has 3 kids, I assume? He has to speak to his eldest and the behaviour has to stop. He has to replace the tv he can’t have the other kids penalised because his oldest can’t behave

personally I would be telling him the oldest does not visit unless he is there to control him

so you have got an abusive partner and an abusive stepson? Honestly what do either of them bring to you life or to the lives of your kids?