Partner’s son smashed telly again and DP says it’s my fault???

The thing is, if he’s not parenting his eldest, there’s no reason to suppose he’ll do a better job with his younger two. OP, I honestly would take this as a wake up call. Everything is going to be your fault, not his, up to and including violence in the house. Please try to think about how to secure a safer future for your and your children.

Read that again like your daughter wrote it about her partner and the way he treats you. Or your sister. Would you want someone you love stay with such a selfish, shitty parent who's obviously a complete arsehole?

ban the xbox when he's over. and make him pay for a new telly.

then ditch the man.

You need to end the relationship with your DP there’s no other advice to give. If either of the children you share with him are male they’ll turn out like his son, if they’re female they’ll learn to accept poor behaviour.

Tell him it’s over he needs to leave and get CM from him for his children. You owe your children that at the bare minimum.

Sell the son's XBox to pay for your new TV.and then chuck them both out

This is why I always advise young women to avoid men with children like the plague.

Well you clearly don't understand emotional abuse then so look it up and learn.

What's happened to you OP that you think being treated like this, and letting your children see this is acceptable?

@AutumnSquashSoup what's your financial situation? Do you have any savings? Do you rent or own? Who's on the Deeds? I think you know deep down this man is shit. The apple hasn't fallen far from the tree with his teen either. You need to think long and hard if you want him as a role model for your two children. He's a shit father, and he's a shit partner. Having a go at YOU, calling you names, sulking, slamming doors - that's abuse, and I think you know it. I'd be getting your ducks in a row and preparing for life in a home without him in it. If you need practical advice, post about your finances/home/work situation for help here.

Tell him to get lost. They are as bad as each other.
You don't need this. Disgusting behaviour.

Op says she walks on eggshells, there's a reason for this and it's because she's being abused, verbally, mentally but hopefully not physically, sadly though physical abuse often follows.

Terrible example being set for the baby here. Tell your partner and his son that if that’s how he responds when you tell him to come and have dinner, you will no longer be cooking for him and his father can cook for him. And that at the very least you’ll be expecting an apology from both of them before cooking for him again. He can play on his x box all evening for all you care. You won’t be making an effort any more when you are so clearly disrespected. He can parent his son himself.

First of all, you're not stupid. Secondly, it's clear that your partner's son is imitating your partner's volatile, unpleasant behaviour. The apple doesn't fall too far from that tree unfortunately.

Say you’d like to watch his parenting skills for tips …so he needs to be home when SS is there, after all he has said you don’t parent teenagers correctly. I think this calls for a period of observation of his superior skills, meanwhile you naturally mustn’t be trusted with the task or any other allied responsibilities…(DP is taking the p and using you…let him do the work fulfil the parenting role…did he even take his son with him when he fled (his responsibilities)?

Smashing stuff up is a violent act, that may potentially escalate to him attacking op directly. Swearing and blaming op, in the way they are is emotional abuse. You don't have to be beaten to a pulp to be abused, there are many different ways to abuse someone. I wouldn't be surprised if there is also financial abuse

This.

Many young people grow up in homes with violence. It leads to long term trauma and lots of problems. It's not right. Children first.

OK so stay in a situation that won't improve if dad of teen who has anger issues suggests it's her fault. Where does that go? He breaks more things? He hits out at her or at younger children? Dad is not stepping up and perhaps some radical action (sort it or we split up) is needed. Not dealing with this type of situation could lead to someone becoming seriously hurt. I've seen it before.

'Abused' is a word thrown around a lot nowaday, but i dont teally understand how either the partner or SS has 'abused' her.

If she lives in the UK then absolutely she can. It’s literally what our benefit system is for.

And don’t feel stupid. Doubtless he was sweetness and light in the beginning, abusers usually are. You now have two children to him so he “knows” you’re not going anywhere so he doesn’t have to make the effort to mask anymore. Also for misogynists like him, the woman you have got is pretty much automatically devalued as opposed to all the other perfect women out there on Insta and Only Fans who are not only hot as fuck, but don’t nag, whinge and look tired.

It’s not you, it’s him, but you do have to leave however hard that is.

Agree 100% with this. OP - it's time to make a decision on how you want your future to be but remember the more abuse you accept from them both the worse it will become. Get rid and be happy.

Just to add, I left an abusive relationship. I had nothing but the clothes on my back. I did not want to end up like my nan, at the end of her life, saying she was glad it was over.

You are absolutely not being unreasonable. 1. The Xbox would be traded in if it's his and the money would be going towards a new TV (or SS would be banned from using it if it belongs to the household). 2. He would be working the remaining debt of the telly off through giving up any pocket money, birthday/Christmas money and doing work around the house. This lad should not be allowed to dodge accountability and he is the one who should pay for it (yes his dad should front the money and he should have to repay his Dad but I don't think Dad will make his son pay him back which teaches the lad the lesson that he gets bailed out when he's behaved unacceptably). Also your DH"s attitude sucks. I'd be telling them both that if the above isn't met they could both get out and find elsewhere to live (assuming this is your house OP otherwise I'd advise you leave and don't accept this crap)

That is no way to live. You may find it hard to tell him to leave but life will be so much better without this man child.