Partner’s son smashed telly again and DP says it’s my fault???

I don’t understand? If the council house is in your name why do you need somewhere to go? Kick him out! He sounds like a proper loser. There will be support out there. You can get help but if you carry on in this cycle your own kids will end up just having really poor role models. Do better by them and take out the trash

@AutumnSquashSoup

Okay, so if I read your last update properly, you’re staying with him because you need his income - correct?
Hey I did that. It’s a bottomless shaft that you keep falling deeper & deeper into and it gets darker & darker as you fall.
But I grabbed onto the sides and I’ll tell ya - it hurt. I filed for divorce (in my case) and I went completely broke.
But I saved my own life and sanity.
And it’s YOUR HOUSE - HE LEAVES, YOU STAY & HE PAYS SUPPORT FOR THE TWO KIDS. No argument. If you have to get a lawyer, well then f**k him, he’ll pay for that lawyer too.
Remember - you aren’t hallucinating. This really happened and that kid is a nightmare.
YOU’RE RAISING 4 CHILDREN - IS THAT WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR???
Get those nightmares OUT OF YOUR HOUSE!!!

I don’t know about paying for the TV, I’d be ending the relationship. Seriously, is this the best you can hope for?

The son is just copying his dad. That’s what kids do. No respect for you.

The other two are learning the same lesson.

If “walking on eggshells” is part of your life, you’re in an abusive relationship.

Your partner's son is only 14, disrespectful, and violent. So far it's only been violence towards property (I'm assuming), but there's no guarantee it will stay that way. Regardless, it's unacceptable. His father won't do anything about him, so you'll just be left hoping that he either matures on his own or decides to move out. Your own two children are young, now, but you can see that their father won't be much help if you start having trouble with them, and witnessing how their half-brother behaves won't be helping the situation.

You chose a loser, unfortunately. That damage is done, but you can choose whether or not to stay with him.

but you said he had a job? Just go to CMS and get money deducted from his pay

What will you do when the kid loses his shit and punches your 5 year old?

Because as night follows day, it WILL happen at some point.

Are you going to wait until that day before you act, or prevent it by not having either of them back? You can claim help with the rent and as a woman who had kids a similar age when I became a single mother, it is a hell of a lot easier than life with a selfish useless tosser.

And give cash converters a try for a second hand TV, you can pay weekly and the kids can watch bluey on your phone for a while.

Oh and he will be forced to pay through CMS if he wont pay off his own bat.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but Stepson has to go for the safety of the 2 young ones, and later to stop them copying his behaviour.

Violent behaviour because you don't like what your parent is telling you to do is not acceptable.

If DP doesn't accept Stepson has to go then DP has to leave and provide for Stepson on his own. He can still be part of your family without his son.

Your children really do deserve better. As do you.

Pack his things. Tell him to come and collect both them and his son. Do not backdown, no matter what he says.

Put in your claim for CMS.

Please, please ask for professional help you and the children are in danger. You will feel stronger with that help. Can someone change your locks it’s your house.
God Bless.

Op the way he is treating you is abuse. You were entirely reasonable yet he made you think it was your fault then he storms off and yet its you calling and texting him. What are you saying begging him not to leave do he will come back? You say he has left you 50 times before hes got you exactly where he wants you emotionally and financially dependent. Think about what your kids are seeing do you want them to act like that.in relationships when they are older? Its not easy but the only person who can change things is you

Chuck him and his kid out. Contact CSA and get a claim set up and then if you aren't already, sort UC. You'll be a lot better off without them both. He's not parenting the lad, he's making excuses.
I would have been absolutely livid about the TV.

I haven't had time to read through all the pages of responses but I'm sure I'm not alone in saying its time you leave this relationship behind.
Your DP doesn't care about you in this relationship and is not a good parent. Je will never ever support your opinion when it comes to his son and he will NEVER change. His son is fast learning that you will always be undermined and have zero authority in the household. He is not setting his son good life examples so please leave this shit show behind and chalk it up to a bad fish that needs throwing back ....

Just when I hear women on here say: partner. Knowing that it's only shit coming

Change the locks and put his stuff outside. I'm serious. Text him saying it's not working and it's over for good.

OK just stop for a minute and think.

You’re in a better position than a lot of people in a situation like this.

You have a council house in your name.
Kick the bastard out and just get on with parenting your 2 little ones. It will be so much easier doing it alone with the knowledge you’ve been strong and put them first.

You won’t be being spoken to like shit, being treated with such utter disrespect (honestly the nerve of the man blaming you when his little shit couldn’t control himself 😡😡).

You can do this.

it’s council house in my name I been here since before I met him so about 7 years now

I didn't actually realise single people without children were able to get council houses, I assumed they would really struggle and they were hard enough to get allocated for families.

If it's your house in your sole name, I would ask him to leave, he sounds really horrible. Put yourself and your own kids first. Where was he living before he met you m?

The house is in your name, he needs to leave…. If he’s ‘done’ and keeps telling you you’ll never manage without him, this isn’t someone you need in your life. Are the other children girls? I wonder what he meant by ‘you don’t know how to talk to teenagers, and leave the lad alone’ as if being a boy means he gets a free pass on behaving violently.

Male adult can't regulate his emotions, storms off, male adolescent can't regulate his emotions, breaks telly.
Modelling behaviour? Couldn't be arsed with that shit, get rid of both of them, easier calmer life.

When people say leave, they mean leave the relationship.

it’s your house so you can kick him out, change locks, call police for trespass etc.

with regards to money, if he’s employed and you go through CMS, it comes straight out of his pay packet, not through him at all.

I have two stepsons. They're older now (one's 31, one 25) and of course there were issues as they were growing up, but NEVER anything like this.
Their dad would have come down on them like a ton of bricks.
The youngest used to try it on a bit with me occasionally when he was a young teenager - 'my dad says l can go on my own to see these mates' when his dad was at work (and uncontactable) and l had no idea who these kids or their parents were, where they lived, or where he was meeting them. I said no. Very firmly.
Fortunately the only result was a bit of sulking and his dad had words when he came home.
Their dad did parent them, and he didn't behave like they never did anything wrong.
Strops and arguments l can understand, but not behaving like that, and breaking expensive stuff in the house.
I'd be walking, l'm afraid. Or telling him to. And take his son with him.

Manipulators flip the script making themselves the victim when actually you are the victim. Your property has been vandalised. You have been insulted and probably verbally abused by your partner. You need to protect yourself and your younger children from the partner and his abusive son. You are worth more than this.

Get your self an iPad Air 13inch and watch that, if the idiots want a TV they can buy one, and make plans to have a peaceful stress free life, or put up with this for the rest of it.

I haven't read all the posts, only p1, so apologies if this has been said, but...

There's a real risk that sooner or later it won't be the son, it will be his dad, and it won't the TV it will be your face.

@AutumnSquashSoup this, all day long. You don’t need him. And believe me, when he no longer makes you and the children walk on eggshells, the relief you’ll feel will be like floating on clouds.