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Original poster

Partner’s son smashed telly again and DP says it’s my fault???

391 replies

AutumnSquashSoup · 08/10/2025 12:35

honestly I’m shaking writing this I just don’t even know anymore 😭
so DP’s lad (14) was here last night and started kicking off cos I told him it was time to come off xbox for tea, next thing controller’s flying across the room and bang straight into the telly 😩 screen’s got this massive crack now all lines down it

DP comes home from work and instead of telling him off he starts having a go at ME saying I “wind the lad up” and “don’t know how to talk to teenagers” like sorry for trying to feed everyone?? I was literally making spag bol with baby on my hip and eldest climbing on the sofa again

now he’s stormed off in the van saying he’s not paying for another telly cos “it’s always drama in this house” well yeah maybe if you actually parented your kid for once 🙄

I don’t even know what to do anymore can’t afford a new one and kids are crying cos they can’t watch bluey
I’ve honestly tried with that boy but he just glares at me and calls me names under his breath

AIBU to think DP should pay for the telly and actually tell his son off properly for once??
not asking for judgement just advice pls

OP posts:
MeEspresso · 08/10/2025 13:02

Starting to run out of sympathy with women like OP.

why do people put up with being treated like this? Honestly..

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 08/10/2025 13:01

Dinoswearunderpants · 08/10/2025 12:59

Is he the dad to any of your kids? If not, I'd be saying bye bye!

I'm assuming yes because she has a baby and they clearly live together

MeetMyCat · 08/10/2025 13:00

19lottie82 · 08/10/2025 12:37

YABU for not ditching this loser.

This.

UnicornLand1 · 08/10/2025 13:00

Well, it's your fault for not leaving this guy years ago and making new children with him instead.

Ionlymakejokestodistractmyself · 08/10/2025 13:00

I could not live with this.

Teens kicking off and breaking things is one thing but to be blamed for it?!

Nope. No fucking way.

How DARE he storm off and run away from parenting.

What a shit excuse for a dad, and partner.

Get rid.

purplecorkheart · 08/10/2025 13:00

Is you partner the father of your kids? What is your housing situation? I agree with the other posters and say get rid but that may not be easy.

Dinoswearunderpants · 08/10/2025 12:59

Is he the dad to any of your kids? If not, I'd be saying bye bye!

Beachlovingirl · 08/10/2025 12:57

The son sounds very angry and very unhappy. Is the split of his parents recent? Perhaps he carries a lot of resentment for you specifically. Teens don’t throw things around just like that. It sounds like he needs some proper parenting and time spent with his dad just the two of them.

HappyHunting101 · 08/10/2025 12:57

My only advice is that it won't get better. Even if your partner was saying all the right things there would be a slim chance, but if this is how he is acting there is zero.

Find a way to end it and live a happier life. Not all men are like this, it's not something you just have to put up with.

AnneLovesGilbert · 08/10/2025 12:54

Dump the loser DP. What a revolting example he’s setting for all the children. Want more for yourself and your kids, he’s a bully. They are watching how he treats you, think about what that means for them and their future relationships.

He can make his own horrible son’s dinner from now on.

blankcanvas3 · 08/10/2025 12:54

Get rid of both

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 08/10/2025 12:53

Oh god, run for the hills from this man and his matchingly awful son.

Howmanycatsistoomany · 08/10/2025 12:53

Well, it's not hard to see where the 14-year old gets his temper from!
Obviously DP should pay for the tv and actually parent his son but he's not gong to.
The upside is no tv means no xbox and that almost certainly means no more 14-year old.

Eviebeans · 08/10/2025 12:52

I hope he took him with him when he stormed off in the van. That could be your child that is hit next time.

HeatonGrov · 08/10/2025 12:52

Who does the house belong to?

FutureMarchionessOfVidal · 08/10/2025 12:50

Son is violent and abusive & can’t be in your home until this has been dealt with- because he poses a threat to you and your belongings; causes you distress; disrespects you; is creating an awful environment for your own small children; and is setting them a bad example.

You need to refuse to have him in the house.

if you are not allowed to refuse to have him in the house, ie your partner over-rules you, then that ties in with the other major issue- that your partner is himself showing very disturbing tendencies. He puts you down, accepts violence to your belongings, has an awful temper, & does not parent adequately. It seems pretty clear why his son is the way he is!

I am wondering why you stay with him- if you have discussed with anyone why you stay with him & what your options are. Is this really what you want for the next 10 years?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 08/10/2025 12:50

LightDrizzle · 08/10/2025 12:43

I’d be telling him he needs to be present all the time his son is in “his” care and doing all the parenting of him, especially since you are so shit at it. He can cook those nights and do all his laundry (assuming he doesn’t already).

Obviously you have a baby so ending the relationship isn’t straightforward or that would be a good solution as he sounds like another stroppy child in the mix.

I’d not mention the TV again, I reckon he’ll crack before you do on that. Your kids will soon forget Bluey. How many do you have with him? Is the baby the only one you have together?

But if you do choose to stay with him, this. He is present all the time his son is there, actively parenting him, doing the cooking etc.

If he won’t do this then no alternative but to LTB

pinkyredrose · 08/10/2025 12:49

Who's house do you live in? Get rid of this sexist, violence apologist excuse of a father and his feral brat.

ComfortFoodCafe · 08/10/2025 12:49

Spilt up, kick him & his son out till he relieses its his son, not your son!

SalamiSammich · 08/10/2025 12:49

Why should the lad behave any better, his dad supports it.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over.

Suggest you leave before your DP poisons another child by allowing your currently sweet kids to go the same way.

Inthebleakmidwinter1 · 08/10/2025 12:49

He’s showing his son he can do whatever he wants and you will be blamed. He will be paying attention to that and his behaviour is unlikely to get better. I would tell your partner you expect 100 per cent back up in the moment with any issues discussed later out of earshot of the kids

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 08/10/2025 12:49

My advice is also to leave the partner.

He sounds a lazy and irresponsible father, and a misogynist to boot.

whereisthatcathidingnow · 08/10/2025 12:47

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

IWantedThereThereButItsGone · 08/10/2025 12:46

So, you live with your partner, @AutumnSquashSoup? In whose house? It sounds as if his son does not live there - but you have two younger children with your partner, is that right?

Teens do cause ‘drama’, all the time. And it isn’t necessarily a reason for breaking up a family - but here, where the teen is not yours, and their parent is not supporting you but actively turning against you in favour of the child, it’s difficult to see how you can progress together.

Your partner sounds hopelessly childish - which means disputes can’t be resolved. It’s hard to understand what he expects from you …

MrsKeats · 08/10/2025 12:45

Remember you are choosing this life.